


There's Nothing to Fear

by FiftyShadesofSnape



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: America, Eventual Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fred Weasley Dies, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hermione Granger-centric, MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America, Multi, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, POV Hermione Granger, POV Severus Snape, Remus Lupin Lives, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Severus Snape Lives, Severus Snape-centric, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 70,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27508858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiftyShadesofSnape/pseuds/FiftyShadesofSnape
Summary: A bonding bird, a secret love, and an ultimate fear. With the War over, Hermione struggles to find herself after the disappearance of her parents. The only person who is able to comfort her is someone no one would have expected. But maybe they should have...Ignores most of DH. EWE? Some OOC moments. (PLEASE read A/N before starting; rating changed out of an abundance of caution)
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 42
Kudos: 75





	1. Fears Are Never What They Seem

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Please read before starting this story. I have always encouraged reviews from readers: constructive criticism, suggestions, words of support- they all keep me writing and help me to become a better writer. That being said, this is Fan Fiction. It is a creative outlet for us to use our imaginations and create our OWN stories, and *shocking* much can be considered "out of character" for the traditional characters. I have tried to mimic language and actions of characters as much as possible, but this is ultimately my own creation.
> 
> That being said, this pairing is NOT for everyone. You have been warned. If you don't like Severus and/or Hermione in the actual books/movies- you will not like them here. This story is told from third person POV. I write from both Hermione and Severus' POV.
> 
> Important facts:
> 
> 1.) Hermione is 21 in this story via the "Timeturner alters age" theory;
> 
> 2.) The timing of events is purposeful, and I will try to denote if time has passed between chapters as clearly as possible;
> 
> 3.) The story is told from BOTH Hermione's POV, as well as Snape's POV. The distinction will always be clear.
> 
> 4.) This story is rated MA for a reason. This is the only warning that will be given!

'Oh Ronald- don't be daft. You know it would have looked bad if we didn't return.

The Golden Trio was making its way to the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class since Hogwarts' reopening, and Hermione was having a hard time convincing Ron why their return was necessary.

'Hermione,' Ron objected, 'you do realize you were the only one who wanted to pass up an offer from the ministry to skip this year and start a career, right?'

Hermione rolled her eyes. She was tired of being blamed for Ron's- and Harry's- decision to return to school.

'Ron, last time I checked I did not have you under the Imperious Curse when you "gladly accepted" a place back here.'

Two months ago, Hermione, Ron, Harry, as well as the other students involved in the war were given a choice: to return to Hogwarts to finish their last year or to delve right into a career of their choice, as granted by the Ministry itself. Hermione's mind was easily made up. She would never abandon the lifetime goal she started over 6 years ago, plus she loved to learn. Harry and Ron didn't quite see it that way and argued heavily with Hermione until they realized (cockily, of course) that no matter when they left Hogwarts, there was no way they'd ever be without employment. Hermione also thought it a way to let others see that Hogwarts was safe and as good as ever. The only thing that seemed to really change was the staffing.

After the war, Minerva refused to remain Headmaster, and took back her Transfiguration post. It was unclear why she was so adamant against the higher position, but there was no fighting with a catwoman- literally. The vote for headmaster had been unanimous- albeit a bit controversial- and the position went to Severus Snape.

His acceptance shocked everyone, but it was no surprise to Hermione. He was a man of superior intelligence, what was he supposed to do for the rest of his life after being cleared of the war charges? Piddle around in some lavish mansion? She almost laughed out loud at the thought of him reading the Daily Prophet with fuzzy slippers and a silk robe. No- he was going to keep doing what he had been for years. He was a constant man. Why change now? She had to admit that she was quite glad when she received that news. She had always harbored a deep admiration for the Potions Master, and although she'd never admit it, she looked forward to his snarky comments and condescending attitude every day. There was just something about him that made her want to do her best, and now as Headmaster he would have to know everything about her scholastic career, something that scared and excited her.

'Isn't that right, Miss. Granger?' a silky voice brought her back to the present where she found herself two steps towards colliding into the dark professor himself.

'I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear the question,' red instantly flushed her cheeks as she met his intense glare.

'I do hope your performance in today's class is better than that of your attention span,' Snape gave her a last look and proceeded to walk into the classroom that they had reached while her thoughts had wandered.

With a confused and embarrassed look, Hermione took her seat at the table that she shared with Harry and Ron, while Headmaster Snape took a seat in the back of the classroom.

'What's he doing in here,' Ron asked loudly whilst poking Hermione in the arm.

'I have no idea. Maybe observing?'

"To be honest, she had no idea why the Headmaster was in their DADA class that morning, but it made her anxious.

Aside from the fact that she practically worshiped the ground he walked on, ever since she dragged him from the Shrieking Shack that dreadful night, his presence seemed to put her on edge. It was clear to everyone how her quick thinking and extraordinary human stasis charm had slowed the snake venom enough to save him. No one had understood why she was so resolute on his safety, but no one dared to cross the most intelligent witch of her age and she stood by his side until he opened his eyes 3 long weeks later. Hermione could only be pulled away for absolute necessities, insisting that any moment Snape could awaken completely disoriented. Truth be told, she had known it was going to be a long road, but she just couldn't leave a man of such devotion even for a few minutes. She was giving back to him what he had given all along.

Her thoughts were again interrupted, but this time by a warmer voice.

'Alright class, settle down. As you can see we have a very important observer today. Headmaster Snape has asked to join the new defense classes to see how the Ministry handled the new approach. I assure you that I am the only one who has anything to worry about,' the professor chuckled.

That chuckle instantly brought a smile of happiness and pain to Hermione's face. The wizarding world came very close to never hearing the chuckle of Remus Lupin again, but by some miracle he his life had been spared. For months, many researchers pondered whether it was the werewolf blood that saved him from his intense injuries, but Remus insisted that a higher power had been with him that evening.

As with the installation of Snape to the Headmaster position, the return of Remus had been a controversial one as well due to his "problem", but no one dared cross Snape once he made the decision. They valued his place as a hero, and their lives, too much.

Professor Lupin started again, 'We are going to start this class slowly. I am well aware that many of you have used curses that should never have been a thought in your young minds, but that ship has sailed and the past is done. That being said, I would appreciate utmost respect and attention to the spellwork that you may find trivial at this point. In order to win a race, you must train and practice even the simplest of exercises first.'

Hermione was only half listening as she stole a quick glance behind her shoulder at the Headmaster. To her surprise, and his embarrassment, he had returned the young woman's stare as well. She turned away immediately and sank back into her seat making a quick promise to herself that she'd focus on class the rest of the time.

'Alright, so enough chit chat. I figured we'd start with something light today,' Lupin motioned to a large wooden chest stationed at the foot of his desk. 'Can anyone tell me what we might be handling today? Ah, Miss. Granger.'

'I would suspect that we will be dealing with boggarts today, sir. A boggart is a shape-shifting creature that takes on the form of the viewer's worst fear,' Hermione recited.

'Very good Miss. Granger! It seems nothing has affected your intellectual prowess!'

"Lupin turned to the chest and continued, 'And with the simple incantation of 'Riddikulus' you can easily rid yourself of facing your worst fear. Now, let's practice! Queue up, please!'

With an easy moment of his wand, the desks were separated forming an aisle for the students to line up in.

For once, the students felt at ease with this type of defense. The war had worn them out of using harsh defensive spells and many students hadn't even wanted to take the class. Hermione believed it was Lupin's tranquil presence that reassured them of a simple syllabus and a haven from reminiscing on the past.

Harry stepped up first, and for a minute everyone seemed to brace themselves for a hooded dementor or an appearance by Voldemort, but as soon as Lupin opened the chest it was emptiness that appeared before the class. Confused, Harry looked toward Lupin and asked, 'Professor, why is nothing happening?'

It took some time before Lupin finally offered the suggestion that because Harry had already faced every true fear he had ever known, there was no power left for a boggart to use against him. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted to see was Voldemort, and questioned silently whether or not she would have boggart either.

Class continued normally after the empty trunk that confronted Harry, and Hermione recognized many of the boggarts as very similar to what they were in their third year: Ron and his spiders, Padma and a cobra, even Seamus and a banshee. She wondered, as she stepped up to the trunk, whether she would see Professor McGonagall again with failing marks, 'Are you ready my dear?' Lupin was standing next to the trunk getting ready to open it and was met with a small nod from Hermione.

With a sharp flick, the trunk opened, unleashing Hermione's worst fear.

At first she stood there confused, waiting for the picture to clear, but as soon as she recognized the scene in front of her she froze.

It was indeed her worst fear. Not more than 5 feet in front of her was a very bloody Severus Snape and a morose Poppy telling Hermione that he was dead. That there was nothing more that could be done. She had been too late.

Hermione didn't move. She didn't even attempt to repel the boggart, she gave Lupin a horrified look and with a sob she ran from the room.

She ran so quickly that she never noticed the confused black orbs that followed her out.


	2. A Teacher's Secret

Severus Snape was bored. It was that simple. After spending most of his adolescence and entire adult life as a double spy, returning to a life of teaching seemed mundane. He was absolutely thrilled that he no longer had to worry about death or destruction, but he wasn't quite ready to return to the dunderheads until the end of his time. He wanted to research, test theories, invent potions- something other than filing out student accident reports or scolding misbehaving nincompoops. Most of all, he didn't want to be alone.

He had over 30 years of experience being alone and didn't want to add another 30 to his already impeccable expertise in the area. The only problem was finding _that_ woman who was as intellectual, confident, and strong as he was. Gone were the days of the vapid flings in the dingy rooms of Hog's Head, Severus wanted something, or rather _someone,_ permanent.

He supposed that's why he took the Headmaster position. It was something steady that he could use to create the stable life that every woman wanted in a relationship, but now that he had _that_ only the actual woman was missing. The hardest part was yet to be found.

On the other hand, he mentally reassured himself, _you could have been left to die_ -which was more accurate than he would have ever wanted to admit to himself. His salvation came from none other than the insufferable-know-it-all herself, Hermione Granger. Her impeccable wit and intellect had saved him and given him another chance at the life he never had. For three weeks, so he was told, she failed to leave his side unless it was necessary and remained steadfast in her presumption that he was going to make a full recovery. Despite this knowledge, he never gave her any inclination that he knew just how his life had been preserved. He was grateful, but then again he had expected to die and hadn't planned anything past the War. That played another role in his decision to return to Hogwarts. He had no idea what else he wanted to do now that he had a new life. He was confused and relieved at his new beginning, but still unsure how to thank the Gryffindor.

Throughout his Hogwarts career he never extended one ounce of attention towards the girl, unless he was insulting her or sneering, and now he found himself regretting that. Who was he kidding- the girl was a genius with a bright future ahead of her, the type of future that he had, literally, killed for. It was the Hermione Grangers of the world that he chose to fight for. The bright minds, the misunderstood children, the Muggleborns- those were the ones he risked his life for, because _those_ were going to be the people who eventually ruled and shaped the wizarding world. People were crazy if they thought he was going to leave the fate of his world to the likes of Ronald Weasley, a boy who would probably choose to solve international disputes by taking a Quaffle to the head.

No, it was the Granger girl that he had secretly watched for years now. Not in the perverted sense, but in the 'why can't you be 25 years older because you're so damn smart' sense. He admired her courage and bravery, and was completely astounded by her intellect. She had no 'worst subject' and that is what made her so interesting. She dedicated herself to learning about as much as he dedicated himself to 'the cause', so he found it a privilege to be able to see her magic in action that morning.

Like clockwork, he stumbled into the Trio being led by Potter, followed by the dim-witted ginger and the talented witch. He approached the three, noticing that Hermione was lost in thought and drawled slowly,

'I would have been foolish to assume that Miss Granger would have taken a position offered by the Ministry, but my, I never would have expected the Potter-Weasley team to return to a life of education, as well. Clearly, you two have grown up. Isn't that right, Miss Granger?'

He knew her attention was elsewhere, but he couldn't help himself by catching her off guard. Besides, watching her stumble and blush was _oh so_ endearing. _Look who let herself wander_ , Severus thought to himself, _how I wish she wasn't so bright. Then I could really understand what she's thinking_. He knew for a fact that she had some experience in Legilimency, and decided to settle for _her_ embarrassment and not his if he was ever caught invading her mind.

'I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear the question,' she blushed.

'I do hope your performance in today's class is better than that of your attention span,' he responded. Severus really didn't want to insult her, but he found himself at a lack of words or niceties for the girl.

There was just something about the way she responded to him when he insulted her that made him feel like she _needed_ his jibes. Nothing inspired a person more than being condescended, right? Well, at least that's how _his_ life had been. Whenever he was looked down upon, that was always the driving factor in his successes. Nothing made him feel better than when he did something incredible to the chagrin of a superior. He only hoped that she felt that same way too.

He made his way into the classroom and sat himself in the back, making a mental note of the seat Hermione chose for herself- and the other two dimwits. If it wasn't for the fact that he was going to be able to see her defenses in action, he would never have agreed that sitting in on the new classes was necessary. After what these children had seen, what did it matter what they taught them now? They had already defended themselves against the most powerful wizard of their time, so there was hardly anything to show or teach that they didn't already know. That point was clearly missed by the Ministry, and a new approach was created and put into place. He knew that he needed someone the children could liken themselves to, which was why he immediately thought of Remus. A strange decision on his part (wasn't he supposed to dislike him?), but he knew that it would be the best for the school at the moment. It wasn't met without outraged parents, but he pointedly reminded them how they had just ended a war fueled by intolerance, and the subject was left alone.

He listened to Remus' instructions and monitored the classroom, while paying special attention to the witch with the not-so-bushy-hair. Just as he was about to return his attention to the front, Hermione slowly craned her neck to glance at him, and he couldn't help but match her gaze until she swiftly turned away. _Now why on earth would she be glancing this way,_ he pondered, _perhaps she is upset that I never thanked her properly for saving my life?_ She didn't appear angry, but Severus was sure that something sparked her interest. _Interesting,_ he continued, _I suppose we shall wait and see where today's lesson takes us_.

As soon as Remus began the practice, Severus' patience began to wane quickly. He was definitely not interested in the petty fears held by children and found Potter's revelation uninspiring to say the least. He thought about excusing himself, when Hermione stepped to the front of the line. He couldn't even fathom what type of fear she could ever harbor, mostly due to the knowledge of what she had endured previously.

Remus flicked opened the trunk and Severus strained to make sense of the scene before him. It took him no more than three seconds to realize that he was staring at himself. A very dead version of himself. Hermione was being told that her efforts had been for nothing and that he had not survived. _But why isn't she moving?_ Severus wondered.

Sure enough, Hermione was frozen with a look of absolute horror plastered on her face, _almost as if she was upset by the news_ , Severus continued. _How could she possibly be that upset over the death of someone who had tortured her for so many years?_ Then again, he never once talked to anyone about what she had done for him. He merely shrugged off the comments of another secret prophecy and denied vehemently accusations of a student/teacher liaison.

It was the moment her sob rang through the classroom that Severus decided he would finally reach out to Hermione and discuss the night she put his safety before her own. Still in complete shock from what had occurred, Severus failed to remove his eyes from the sight in front of him, and kept his gaze on her long after she ran crying from the classroom.

It took about two minutes before dead silence turned into mass confusion.

_'Do you think they were having a secret affair?'_

_'Now that you mention it, she did look rather bloated. She's pregnant!'_

Those comments were no bother to Severus until he heard a very clear,

_'Ew, who would ever want a man like Snape anyway?'_ and in an instant, with a wave of his wand, each student's desk burst into flames.

The students, while alarmed at first, quickly realized that the fire was not actually burning, and they turned to face a very irate Headmaster.

'Like fire can burn, false accusations and distasteful comments can also spread and hurt. You are all lucky that I was setting an example and not proving a point, or we would have had a full hospital wing,' Severus spat.

He then turned to Remus, 'Professor Lupin, you might find it in your favor to control your class or see to it that they learn some respect.' He drawled the last part out slowly whilst he eyed the vocalist of the last comment. He continued, 'Might I suggest a four-foot parchment essay detailing the process a boggart undergoes when it is repelled?'

He glanced up and Remus and added, 'Anyone who begs to differ with my suggestion can spend some clearly much-needed time with Filch.'

With that addition, Severus turned on his heel and stormed out of the classroom.

A conversation needed to be had, and soon.


	3. Peacocks and Wishes

_What is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with me?!_

Hermione was panting frantically, but finally reached the safety of her rooms where she closed and warded the door, then flung herself on her bed.

She had no idea where on earth that boggart had come from. _Snape's death is my worst fear? That can't be right._ She tried mercilessly to find some other explanation for the scene that she had just faced, but could only come up with the idea that she merely feared the failure that would have come with his death. _Right, I would have felt worthless that I- Hermione Granger- had been unable to save him. That has to be right. It just does._ Despite that she tried desperately to forget the occurrence, she knew deep down that it had been correct.

If Snape had died, she would have been without the greatest mentor that she had ever known, even though he barely acknowledged her presence those six years before the war. What could a girl only pushing 21 possibly have to offer someone so accomplished? Hermione got off her bed to pace just in time to spot something out of the corner of her eye through her bedroom window. Strutting gracefully across the lawn was a peacock. The beautiful bird seemed to float along the grass without a care in the world- why did it need one when it knew it was one of the most beautiful creatures in the animal kingdom? In that moment, Hermione wished for a second that she could be to Snape what that peacock was to her, 'I just wish Snape saw me like I see you, pretty bird: beautiful, confident, special,' she mumbled, 'Ugh, I sound like an idiot. Swooning over a professor- the infamous git no less. AND wishing I was a bird.'

Not only was she wishing, but she was alone. No one would understand how she felt because there wasn't a single person who had seen what she had that night. She remembered working silently and quickly, all while keeping her face fixed on his glassy stare and trying to ignore the blood pouring through her hands. Those memories haunted her dreams for months, even after Snape had woken up, and they tended to flow in and out of her thoughts semi-regularly. She tried to blame it on the fact that she was a pacifist- she didn't want to see anyone die, but her mind- and her heart got the best of her.

She wiped away the last of her tears and pulled out _Hogwarts: A History_ , something she reserved for the times when she needed comfort, and was just about to settle down when she heard a soft knock and her name at the door. Expecting the worst, Hermione walked slowly to the door, released her wards, and pulled it open. She was surprised to find a very worried looking Ginny Weasley.

'Hermione, what is going on?' she started, 'Last I heard, you ran from DADA crying and no one knew where you went.' Ginny pushed herself through the door, grabbed Hermione's hand, and sat them on the bed. She started again, 'Alright, now spill. This isn't like you. Hermione Granger doesn't cry like that, and she _certainly_ doesn't pass on a chance to kick some arse using a first-year's spell,' Ginny turned towards her friend and waited for a response. However, instead of a carefully put together 'Hermione' thought, the girl started crying all over again. Ginny let her. After a good ten minutes, Hermione finally calmed down enough to apologize for blubbering all over her friend's blouse.

'I'm sorry Ginny,' Hermione sniffed, 'I just can't seem to get a hold of this situation at all. It's so frustrating to not have any idea what to do for once. I'm supposed to know everything, and here I am confused about why Snape's death is my worst fear,' she turned slowly to face Ginny, 'what's wrong with me?'

Despite the fact that Ginny had already heard about the boggart from Harry, she didn't expect Hermione to seem so genuinely upset and confused over the situation and quickly concluded that she legitimately cared for the dungeon bat.

'Hermione,' she started, 'I don't want you to get upset over this, but I think you care deeply for Snape. Deeper than you realized, or ever wanted to admit to yourself. There's nothing wrong with that, I mean we all suffered through a lot and people sometimes find comfort or strength in things they never expected.' Hermione peered up at her friend, 'I think that you need to talk to him, Hermione. This is something that shouldn't be hidden- in fact it _can't_ be hidden because it affects you so much. Your worst fear is his death for bloody sake! Not yours- not even Harry's, but Snape's!' The ginger girl threw her hands in the air as if signaling defeat and then continued softly, 'I can understand why you wouldn't want to face this revelation, but honestly I don't think it'd be healthy to keep it hidden.'

By this point of the conversation, Hermione had already started crying again and only responded with simple nods of her head, 'I *sniff* know *sniff* Ginny, but I *sniff* don't know what to do!' Hermione hung her head and waited for her friend to respond, but instead of encouraging words she heard a loud *THUMP* outside the window. Both girls turned towards the thud, where they saw jet black raven waiting impatiently outside. When Hermione didn't move, Ginny moved off the bed and opened the window. The bird ignored Ginny, almost as if ordered to fulfill specific instructions, and flew to Hermione where it dropped a square of parchment.

Ginny, figuring that only one person would send a jet black raven, stood up, 'I think you need to read that privately and really decide what you want to do. I can only give you advice, but it will ultimately be your decision,' Ginny looked at the note being gripped tightly by her friend and continued, 'and I think you should give him a chance. Sure, he's the snarky potions master, but he _has_ to have feelings hidden somewhere in all that black.'

Hermione finally looked up at Ginny and whispered, 'Thank you, Ginny. This means a lot that you don't find this awkward or weird, and please know that I really am considering your advice.'

With that, Ginny smiled, hugged her friend, and left the room closing the door silently behind her.

For a moment Hermione just stared at the note in her hands – _**Miss Hermione Granger**_. Of course she knew it was from him. The perfect, distinct handwriting; the faint scent of pine and sandalwood- it was composed of everything she trained herself to recognize about him. Taking a deep breath and expecting something terse, Hermione opened the note and found herself looking at a detailed letter.

**Miss Granger,**

**It seems that the space I have allowed to occur between us since the end of the war has reached uncomfortable levels. While I do not understand the scene I witnessed this morning completely, I truly believe that part of your fear stems from my lack of respect. For that, and for my blatant disregard of your existence I apologize sincerely. As a man of few words, I find it quite difficult to discuss personal matters or extend any gratitude whatsoever. For those flaws, I also apologize.**

**You are talented and smart, and anyone with half a brain can see the bright future that lies ahead of you. I am afraid that my ignorance has affected your ability to truly move past what happened those few months ago. I do not want to be responsible for the loss of such a brilliant woman, and I want you to know how appreciative I am of what you gave to me that fateful night. Most people would have left me to die. You did not, and that is what separates you from the entire wizarding world, Hermione Granger. Your bravery and strength is unmatched to those twice your age, and yet you act with humility and grace.**

**We will discuss the matters listed above, but I would like to speak with you when you are ready to do so. I have ordered Noir to wait for a response. Again, I apologize and await your word.**

**-Headmaster Snape**

That letter was the most attention Severus Snape had ever paid towards Hermione Granger, and that fact was not left unnoticed by the teary eyed Gryffindor.

She carefully reread the messaged several times before she closed her eyes. _He thinks I'm a brilliant woman. He thinks I'm brilliant AND a woman._ Hermione smiled and walked slowly to her desk, where she pulled out a quill and dipped it slowly in her ink pot. She hesitated at first, afraid that she would say too much too soon and settled for a basic response. _Well, basic for me, that is._

**Headmaster Snape,**

**I am in receipt of your letter. Thank you for the kind words. While I hardly believe talking about saving a life is best touched upon in writing- you're welcome. I have enclosed my free periods during the day, but I am usually available in the evenings. I seek the library as my haven of choice, so please feel free to contact me when you find yourself the time. I look forward to our conversation.**

**-Hermione Granger**

Hermione sat there and stared at her response, mentally arguing over her word choice for what seemed like forever before Noir lost the battle with patience, grabbed the letter off the desk, and flew out the window. Hermione rolled her eyes, 'They always said pets and their owners have similar characteristics.' She wished she didn't have to worry about whether Professor Snape approved of her, but what scared her most was that she wished he _did._ She wanted nothing more than his approval and his words of reassurance that she would never have to see her fear become a reality.

 _Get a hold of yourself_ , she thought, _worst case scenario is that you talk and that's the end of it._ If _that_ was the worst case scenario, then why did she feel like that response would be the end of the world? _Because you care. But he's your superior and much too old. You can only allow yourself to care for him like you would a father figure_. 'Ugh easier said than done,' she replied to her silent thought.

Hermione didn't want him as just a father figure- in fact she couldn't _stand_ to have him as just that, especially not after almost losing him. She wanted to be special. She wanted to be like his peacock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thank you for reading! As I mentioned, this story is on FFN (29 chapters, most recently updated last week) BUT I will be trying to get them all up here within the next day. So, don't fret! It will be the same story, so don't worry about that.
> 
> Some comments I've gotten before indicate that it seems this story moves quickly. There's a reason for that. Be patient. ;)
> 
> Many thanks for the warmest welcome, as I wander on from the one site I've been using since 2013!


	4. The Problem

'Hagrid, please calmly tell me one more time what on earth you thought having that bird would accomplish.'

Severus was livid. In front of him sat a very nervous and teary eyed groundskeeper, who was trying his best not to erupt into a fit of tears.

'I jus' thought that 'aving it around would bring some joy tah school,' Hagrid sniffed, 'I didn't know it 'ad magical properties. Thoughts it was normal!'

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly agitated and looked around his office. Dumbledore twinkled down at him.

'Hagrid, how many times have you been told not to bring any more strange creatures to Hogwarts without explicit instruction or permission from a professor or Headmaster?'

It seemed that, while visiting Charley Weasley in Romania, Hagrid had stumbled upon (or rather made a drunken exchange for) a rare magical fowl, the _aves cupios_ \- or literally "wish bird".

While baring striking resemblance to an ordinary peacock, this bird did more than just flash plumage of ornate coloring, it had the power to appear to those whose wishes or desires were pure. Hagrid's look pleaded innocence, so Severus continued slowly,

'Luckily, there are few people who know about this creature and I believe Hogwarts houses only a handful of professors who recognize the bird. What we cannot have is a mass eruption of student knowledge. If word leaks out that a bird who can grant wishes is on the loose, we are going to have more problems than when you decided to house a dragon.' He paused, and then asked quickly, 'Did anyone else see it?'

'I mean- er- I don't believe so. No students were 'round. I 'spect they were in classes.'

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't even imagine the trouble he would have to deal with if that bird appeared to a student.

'But,' Hagrid continued shyly, earning a deathly glare from the Headmaster, 'I- er- seem tah have lost the thing. I mean, well it ran away.'

'WHAT?' Severus jumped up out of his chair, causing Hagrid to flinch. 'What do you mean it ran away?'

'Yer know that those birds can't fly, so it just trotted away…?' He didn't even finish the sentence after meeting the dark look being thrown at him.

'Hagrid, this is serious. You must- no you will find that thing before the end of the day. Do… you… understand- why are you giving me that look?'

Hagrid had started fidgeting uncomfortably and looked up innocently at Severus.

'Er- well- oh fer bloody sake. 'Eadmaster, I'm tah be leaving shortly fer that conference thing you signed me up tah take.'

Severus had completely forgotten. After the Buckbeak debacle a few years back, it was mandated that Hagrid was to attend yearly seminars on the proper guidelines and instructions for the care of magical creatures.

'So you mean to tell me that you are going to leave this mess for me clean up while you go gallivanting off to play with unicorns?' Severus was not amused and his distaste for the situation was clear on his sharp features. This was not the first time he was left to clean up a mess made by someone else, and he found it rather exhausting now. 'I don't expect you know anything about catching or finding it, do you?'

Hagrid shook his head. 'I only know that once it's seen, it bonds tah that person. Even without seeing that person. It jus' knows. But I knew nothin' about wishes.' Severus just glared at the hairy giant. _Perfect,_ he thought, _now I can add bird watching to my list of confronting the schoolgirl who saved my life_.

'Very well Hagrid. I will take care of the situation, but let this be a lesson and a warning against any creatures you ever think to bring back here.' With a wave of his hand, Hagrid knew to take his leave.

 _Bloody perfect_ , Severus thought, _I do hope this thing wasn't seen so I won't have to deal with any more idiocy_. He knew he had to do something quickly, but to be honest he had no idea how to catch the bird. Evil wizards- yes, magical birds- definitely not. He was about to make a poor decision and seek the help of a full bottle of Firewhiskey, when a brilliant idea popped into his head, or rather a brilliant woman.

If there was anyone who could handle a sensitive issue with maturity and intellect, it was Hermione Granger. Granted, he needed to make sure she didn't see the creature, but he suspected that she probably knew a thing or two about a rare bird that no one had ever heard of. Knowledge on rarity seemed to be a specialty of hers. He needed to act quickly, so he pulled out his second piece of parchment that day and wrote:

**Miss Granger,**

**I apologize for the late notice, but your assistance is required immediately. Please come to my office at once.**

**-Headmaster Snape**

Severus quickly called to Noir, gave the bird the note, and watched him disappear out of the room. Now he just had to wait.

* * *

Hermione was currently in a predicament. She was in the library and having quite an internal struggle trying to decide which essay she should write first.

Both assignments for potions and arithmancy were due in two weeks time, and she had no clue which to begin first. _I wish I could decide what to do_ , she thought with a huff and continued to chew on her third quill of the hour. She was about to just start the subjects alphabetically, when she spotted Noir perched carefully on the chair next to her.

'Why, what's this?' She reached over carefully and barely grasped the bit of parchment before the bird took off, 'Well I suppose no response is required this time.' _Hmm, another note from Headmaster Snape- Snape! Potions! Well at least I got one wish_ , she chuckled to herself. She opened the note carefully and furrowed her brow. Clearly he wasn't interested in discussing this morning's events now, so what could be this important?

She gathered up her books and set off to the Headmaster's office.

She was just about to say the password, when she heard the *swoosh* of long robes coming from behind her,

'Ah I see you received my note. I always told Dumbledore that ravens were more efficient than owls.'

Hermione turned to find Snape now standing in front of her holding a very large book.

'Good afternoon Headmaster. What is so urgent? Are you feeling alright?' _Why did I just ask if he was alright?! Of course he is or he would have called for Poppy, not me_. Hermione was more than confused at this point, and hadn't an inkling why she had been called. She stopped questioning the man towering over her, and reached her hand out as if accepting an offering.

Snape raised his eyebrows, 'Ah, very good. Nothing about you surprises me anymore Miss Granger. You realize your questions were going unanswered and went straight to the source of the issue.'

He handed her the book: _Magical Creatures and Their Myths._ She looked up at him with an intense stare before opening to the first page.

She read out loud, "'The creatures detailed in this book are ones of highest magical properties. Each and every one should be approached with caution or handled by a professional, for many of the side effects are permanent. While not dangerous, the magic expelled by them can be powerful and at times, irreversible. Take caution when handling.'"

She looked up at the Professor with big eyes, 'Sir, is one of these creatures loose in Hogwarts?'

He smirked, 'Very good, Granger. Nothing slips by your nimble mind. We have a bit of a problem on our hands and I require your assistance- if you agree…'

He didn't even need to ask for her permission. He could have demanded it and she would have been ecstatic to comply all the same.

'Now, I know which creature it is and while I will inform you of its properties, when it comes down to the capture, your assistance will no longer be necessary.' Hermione looked at him quizzically and he added a quick, 'because of some of the properties I would never want to befall on a student.'

Hermione thought about everything the Professor had just told her and then began talking.

'Professor I accept this task and while I do promise that I will leave when I am instructed to, if anything goes amiss, I will not leave you,' she bit her tongue. _Did I really just tell Snape what I was going to do?_ It seemed like months passed before Snape responded,

'Very well Granger. But, if I have the situation under control you…must…leave. That is an order.' There was something in his eyes that made Hermione feel protected, so she had no choice but to nod in agreement.

Snape continued, 'I must enlighten you to the situation, so if you would follow me please, we can begin,' he turned to walk away then stopped, and spun around to face Hermione. 'One last thing, Miss Granger. I do not want you to think I am neglecting our other conversation. On the contrary, I believe that a little project for you might ease the transition so you find it easier to talk when the time arrives.'

Before he was able to turn around, Hermione placed a hand lightly on his upper arm as if to stop him, 'Sir, I never thought that you were neglecting it, but now that you brought it up, I am ready to talk when you are.' She gave him a soft smile and pulled her hand away.

His eyes lingered on her longer than they should have until he finally gave a curt nod and motioned for her to follow him into his office.

Once there, he gestured for her to sit across from him at his desk.

'Miss Granger, do the words _aves cupios_ mean anything to you?'

Hermione looked blankly at Severus for a few seconds, _I know you know this, silly girl,_ he thought. Finally she sputtered out, 'Well _aves_ means birds, but I can't remember if _cupios_ is 'want' or 'wish'. My Latin is not quite what it used to be,' she blushed. _Oh gods_ , Severus thought, _is she actually apologizing for having her Latin be rusty?_

He interjected, 'Miss Granger, do not apologize for forgetting the correct word of a dead language. You should be most proud of the fact that you correctly identified _aves_ as birds and that you remembered that _cupios_ is loosely translated into wish. So, we are, literally, looking for a wish bird…,' he stopped as he saw her eyes go wide, 'is there something wrong Granger?'

She took a deep breath before responding, 'Sir, if I am correct, that bird bonds itself to whichever human spots it first and pursues that person's deepest desires, or wishes, as long as they are pure. They're very rare though I've heard, so how is one here exactly?'

He wasn't surprised that she knew exactly what was necessary about the creature, in fact he found himself proud at her knowledge. _She really is the brightest witch of her age_ , however he made a mental note that she only thought the bird could bond to a person who spotted it, and that she didn't acknowledge the bird was just as capable at finding a human first.

'Your beloved groundskeeper thought it would make a nice pet for Hogwarts. He didn't understand the creature, and we are left to capture it while he is away. Now, you can understand why your involvement in its capture should not occur, correct?' He looked at her sternly, as if mentally conveying to her that she shouldn't do anything stupid.

'Of course sir. Magical creatures can be very unstable and their powers, while intended to be good natured, can usually result in the opposite occurring to the unlucky meddler.' She paused and looked up at him, 'I hate to be the insufferable-know-it-all once again, but they are also horribly bad at keeping predators away so we should be more concerned about those animals hunting tonight than some silly wishes.'

Severus looked at her, she was right. He hadn't considered that they would be chasing a bird that couldn't fly, while hungry and large animals lurked about in the darkness. He didn't want to frighten her, so he responded with a nonchalant, 'Do not worry Miss Granger. I take full responsibility for your safety and will ensure that nothing happens. Do you trust me?' His heart stopped for a fraction of a second as her deep chocolate eyes met his and he heard her whisper, 'Of course sir, with my life.'

At those words, she blushed instantly forgetting that his life had already been entrusted to her not too long ago. _Oh how I love when she does that_ , he thought.

'Well, then we should get started. You realize how its freedom could pose a problem to a group of first year girls who might happen to stumble upon it, so the sooner we find it the better.'

Severus stood up, 'As I am sure you are aware, the Forbidden Forest can become quite chilly once the sun sets, so it would be in your best interest to dress appropriately and meet me at the front entrance in a half hour. We will depart from there.'

Hermione stood, smoothed out her robes and gave a serious 'Yes, sir' before she was dismissed and left Severus to wonder what the night held for them.

 _This is your chance to make things right, even without a conversation_ , he reminded himself, _do not ruin it. She's your only hope now._

If this was just a bird retrieval mission, then why did it feel like so much more was about to happen?

With an audible sigh, Severus picked up the library book he had borrowed and flipped to the section on their soon-to-be captive. He scanned the description one more time before stopping at a part that Hermione had neglected,

'While perfectly harmless, the magic in these birds is so powerful that their human bond cannot be broken until the exact most desired wish is fulfilled. It is best to confront said wants before approaching the bird, or prepare for a new pet.'

Severus closed the book, _Perfect. This is exactly what I need. Gods, please let this not end horribly._

He glanced at the clock and decided to head towards their meeting place, praying that this bird wouldn't be the death of him.


	5. The Hunt

Hermione found herself struggling to decide what to wear. _For goodness sakes_ , she thought, _you're going bird hunting. Not having tea with the Minister._ She finally settled on a pair of Muggle jeans and a dark green cardigan. _That should improve his mood_ , she chuckled to herself.

She couldn't believe she was going to spend the entire evening alone with Snape. It was almost like a dream come true: bonding time with the man she secretly adored. What more could she want? Well that's another story completely…It was as if the gods were on her side finally, rooting for her team, but she still hadn't wrapped her head around the whole bird-catching conundrum yet. _How am I supposed to find a bird that I've never seen before_ , she pondered, _ugh Hermione how could you have forgotten to look at the picture in the book?!_

She glanced at her watch and decided, if she ran, that she'd have enough time to check the picture in the book that was still resting on the Headmaster's desk. She grabbed her wand, beaded bag, and cloak and headed to his office, hoping he wouldn't be there. The last thing she needed was for him to think her ill prepared and irresponsible.

As she wound her way through the castle she couldn't help but turn her attention to the night she was about to have. Granted this wasn't going to be the time or place to have the "conversation", she almost hoped that it would be acknowledged once or twice throughout the night. She figured that an outdoor atmosphere would render a much more comfortable conversational arena than a stuffy office.

She quickly arrived at the office and took a glance around before announcing the password and making her way up the spiral staircase. The book was still on his desk opened to the chapter on the magical creature they were about to set out in search for. She tentatively walked to the desk, turned the book around, and flipped back a page to the beginning of the chapter.

There it was. The most exquisite bird she had ever seen! It was beautiful- so majestic looking, that it reminded her of an ordinary Muggle peacock- _oh my gods_ , she thought.

Staring back at her was a ordinary peacock. The "ordinary peacock" that she had likened herself to earlier that afternoon. _There's no way. This must be a coincidence_. She started to panic. If everything worked the way it was stated in the book, then she had already bonded to the bird! _I was gawking and wishing to be it for ages, there's no way we're not bonded_. Unless someone had already seen the bird, then there it was: her fate in the hands- er talons- of a bird.

That seemed like a huge stretch even for her, until she remembered wishing for the ability to decide which assignment to do when she received Snape's letter. Hermione groaned. She and the bird were indeed bonded. Now all she had to do was figure out how to un-bond herself from it without Snape finding out. _I have a feeling this is going to be a very long night_ , she thought to herself before heading out to meet, unbeknownst to her, the purest desire she sought the most.

* * *

Severus was nervous, and it had nothing to do with the bird he was about to attempt to catch.

It had everything to with the witch he would be spending the evening with. For some reason, his attraction to the girl was growing by the day, to the point where it frightened him. He hadn't felt this strongly about a woman since Lily, and found himself quite put out by that revelation. At least with Lily they had been the same age, as well as close friends before things fell to the wayside, but with Hermione it was different.

Even though she was his former student, he was still her superior and guardian at Hogwarts, which made the situation worse. He started realizing that he was attracted to her more than he had been to Lily, and was scared out of his wits at that.

_Severus, you really do need to get a hold of yourself. But then again it's not your fault she's more intelligent than half of the ministry, talented, and beautiful…_

Severus could have continued that list for ages, but he was interrupted when he saw the Gryffindor princess running right at him. She finally slowed down and with a very shallow breath panted, 'I'm. So. Sorry. I'm. Late. Headmaster.' Severus dismissed her apology with a wave of his hand and began speaking.

'Miss Granger, let us not dawdle. I do believe we have a long and difficult night ahead of us. It seems you are prepared, so,' he gestured to the door, 'shall we?'

Severus stepped through the doorway and motioned for Hermione to do the same.

It was nearing dark and with the setting sun, the air was already turning brisk. Severus looked back at the girl expecting to see her showing some signs of discomfort, but instead he found her trailing confidently behind him. He looked closely to see a hint of dark green under her cloak. _Well, well, well_ , he smirked to himself, _looks like this Gryffindor is more Slytherin than I would have figured._ He had to agree with himself that green particularly suited Hermione, but he wondered if the weather had anything to do with her outfit choice.

'Once the sun has set it will be particularly chilly tonight, but I see you have dressed appropriately,' Severus announced.

Hermione blushed, clearly displaying her knowledge at his notice to her sweater, and quickly retorted, 'Actually, I have been able to really perfect a good warming charm. You know, since I was on the run and living in a forest for all of last year…' Her voice cut out at the end of the sentence as if she had said something inappropriate.

Severus looked at the girl compassionately. He really had no clue what she had endured those long months, in fact he only heard most of the stories through other people, so their believability tended to wane.

He stopped and turned towards her, 'Miss Granger, to be quite honest I really don't know much of what you and your friends endured. Obviously, stories were shared amongst colleagues, but that was about to the extent I knew what was happening. I am sure that you suffered dearly- especially for one so young, and I am almost positive that you have continued to suffer, am I right?'

He watched her face fall and instantly wanted to touch her, to comfort her. Instead, he turned back around and continued into the forest. He had not moved more than two feet before he heard a faint 'You're right' from behind him. Again he stopped, but faced forward into the darkness.

'I haven't stopped hurting since the moment I chose to run off with Harry and Ron. Every single day I'm faced with the reality of what I sacrificed and what I lost. We may have won the War, but what did we truly gain? Freedom that we should have had to begin with? Happiness? A Life without fear? I'm sorry sir, I don't know about you, but I didn't gain any of those. All I was left with was money I didn't need and a broken heart.'

Severus turned around to face Hermione as she continued.

'I'm not saying it wasn't for nothing, but I feel like we got lucky. What if things had been different? What if you hadn't been supporting us all along, or Harry hadn't been as selfless as he was?'

Hermione saw his eyes convey a sense of disbelief at that statement and pointed at him.

'Don't think for one second that Harry isn't selfless. All along he told us that he did it because he had nothing to lose, but I knew deep down that he did it because he had everything to lose. Sure, he had no family per se, but the entire wizarding world was his family and that was everything to him. I just, I don't know. It was hard on him, but neither boy knew how much harder it was on me. He had the defensive skills and the scar, but I was the 'girl who knew everything'. The 'one with the plan'. What if I didn't know everything, or planned for everything?'

She stopped to catch her breath, and then looked awkwardly away. 'I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean to bore you with an internal monologue or point at you. That was rude.'

It was in that moment that Severus decided that Hermione Granger was the missing piece in his life. The bravery, the intellect, the humility- he wanted it all. He didn't care that he was almost twenty years her senior, she practically aged ten years during last few months anyway. Afraid he'd cross too many boundaries too soon, he walked slowly to where she stood and place a hand amicably on her shoulder.

'Miss Granger, do not think for a second that your position in the war should be undermined to that of Harry Potter's merely because he was the weapon that ended it. You were a bridge, the glue if I may add, that kept your friends together and goals clear and sensible. You are correct, without your incredible intellect and quick thinking, I do wonder where we would be right now. While I may not know the personal conflicts you struggled with internally, I am not ignorant to the external ones you suffered. You survived lengthy bouts with the Cruciatus Curse, magical knife wounds, and pain from Horcruxes that housed the most evil soul we had ever known. You, Hermione Granger, are what kept the vision alive.'

Hermione had glanced down briefly and Severus noticed the soft tears she began to shed. Cautiously, he moved his hand to her chin and lifted it so her eyes met his.

'You are the brightest witch I have ever known. Why do you think I asked you to help me with this project tonight? I very well could have forced a faculty member or contacted a professional, but that seemed silly when I had a brain such as yours within my grasp.'

He gently moved his hand upwards and allowed his thumb to gently brush away the tears that had started to fall. No sooner than the second brush, Hermione lunged forward and flung her arms around the shocked Severus' waist. _What are you doing, silly girl?_ He was surprised when Hermione answered his seemingly silent question with a timid response.

'I'm hugging you, sir. No one has ever said anything like that to me with such authenticity, so I'm hugging you.'

For a moment Severus had no idea how to react. He couldn't even remember the last time someone had willingly given him a hug, much less a woman. Very slowly, he lifted his arms and awkwardly returned the gesture.

* * *

She couldn't believe it. Hermione was in dark forest, under the moonlight, hugging Snape. Was this a dream come true or what!

The words he had spoken to her had been pure bliss. Never in her life had she expected him to compliment her so completely and openly. She had wanted to hug him the moment he opened his mouth, but refrained for fear that she would cross some student/teacher boundary, however all thoughts of rules were forgotten as soon as his hand touched her face.

_I wish this never had to end_ , she thought to herself, _how I wish that he could be my life_.

She was just about to close her eyes as he held her, when a loud shriek pierced the nighttime silence. In an instant Snape was standing tall with his wand at the ready.

'Stay close,' he commanded.

Again, they heard a loud cry, more shrill this time, which gave Snape the direction they needed to follow.

'Remember your promise Miss Granger.' Snape was at a brisk jog, with his peripherals going wild.

They had been jogging for nearly ten minutes, when a tree branch snapped to Hermione's right.

'Sir, I think something might be over there,' she pointed to the direction of the noise, causing Snape to jump madly in front of her.

'Do. Not. Move,' he warned, 'I need to make sure the bird isn't there.'

He walked cautiously, yet confidently, in the direction she had pointed while Hermione remained behind.

_I do hope he finds this thing and we can be done with it_ , she pleaded, _but should I mention my bond with it yet? I don't even know if it is legitimate._

She was at a loss of what to do. If she told Snape, then they could work through the magic and possibly reverse the bond, but if she didn't then she could have her purest desire fulfilled. The thing she apparently wanted more than anything.

She was brought back to the present with the silky voice she craved.

'Miss Granger, it seems that something else got to the bird before we did, and while it is barely alive I require you to return to the castle at once.'

She heard a swish of his wand and instantly, a ball of light hovered in front of her.

'Follow the light back to the castle and do not under any circumstances turn around. Do I make myself -,'

Suddenly, Snape's words were replaced with a loud growl and a panicked scream. His panicked scream.

Hermione ran to him, clutching her wand tightly.

'Headmaster? Headmaster?!'

She heard a gargled groan and looked down. _Oh gods, please, no._


	6. Her Deepest Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad leaving a cliff-hanger! Will put up the rest of the chapters tonight! xx

Hermione was looking down at a very injured Snape and didn't even consider the fact that whatever got him was still lurking in the shadows. She knelt next to him and placed a shaky hand on his neck to look for his pulse. _Still a heartbeat, thank goodness_ , she thought to herself.

'Headmaster?' She whispered, 'Can you hear me?'

She lit her wand and gasped when his dark eyes met hers.

'Miss Granger. Not safe. Go.' Snape struggled to speak and Hermione moved quickly to perform a diagnostic spell over his eerily still body. She found that a huge chunk of his arm had been ripped away and several of his ribs were broken.

'You cannot move, sir. You're badly hurt, but don't worry I'm going to get you out of here safely,' she smiled warmly down at him, not sure whether he was conscious enough to recognize.

He tried again to speak, 'You give everything for me. You prevented my death once already. You cannot deny Death my soul again.'

Hermione clenched her jaw tightly, 'No. I will not let you die. I will not be forced to face my worst fear here alone. We never even talked about why this is my worst fear. You can't do this to me! You can't leave me!'

She had started to shout, pleading desperately with the man lying in front of her. 'Why can't you see that I need you? I always have. You have been the reason that I was able to carry on when all I wanted to do was give up. This is my fault. I should have just told you when I realized it. Headmaster, I had already bonded to the bird this morning. I saw it outside, but recognized it only as a peacock, not a magical creature. If I had just told you then you wouldn't be on the ground of the Forbidden Forrest half dead _again.'_

She reached into her cloak pocket at pulled out her beaded bag. She pointed her wand into it and called, 'Accio Blood Replenisher'. In an instant she had a vial in her bloody hands.

'Here, sir. Drink this, it'll help.' She carefully poured the vial into Snape's mouth and then ripped a sleeve off her sweater and tied it tightly around his upper arm to control the bleeding. After a few minutes, she finally saw his face regain a little of the color that he had lost.

'Expecto Patronum,' she flicked her wand and commanded the silvery otter to send word to Professor McGonagall and Poppy in the infirmary. She worked quickly and placed a ward around their area to keep anyone or anything out except for the two she had just called.

The entire time she worked, Snape stared at her in breathless admiration, almost as if she was a figment of his imagination. As soon as she had finished the wards, she knelt back down next to him and placed her hand on his cheek.

'You're not going anywhere, sir. Death will have to find someone else in your place.' Hermione sat down behind him and placed his head in her lap, gently playing with his dark locks. 'I need you to keep talking, Headmaster. I don't want you to fall into unconsciousness. Please.' She continued stroking his hair and waited for some sort of reply, which came minutes later.

'Miss Granger,' Snape wheezed, 'I do think now is the best time, if any, to convey to you how appreciative I am for what you did.'

Hermione went to shush him, afraid that he would over exert himself, but he caught her hand to stop her.

'Let me finish.'

He took her hand and placed it on his chest, never letting go of it and continued in a small voice.

'All my life, I never had anything meaningful to live for. I only had the son of an ex best friend, and even that wasn't exactly the life I had planned for myself. I never believed I would ever make it out alive once Dumbledore was gone, and even then I do not believe I wanted to be alive. Why would I want to live in a world where I was considered a traitor to some, and a pathetic excuse for a man to the others? I was no hero. I'm still no hero. I did what I had to do. You did not.

You were not told to follow the path set forth by Potter and his sidekick- you chose that. You also did not have to save me. Why you did, I will never know, but I am finally glad that you did. I plan on making up for the years I tortured you as a student, so that you can see just how truly brilliant you are.' He slowly tilted his head backwards so his eyes could search her features, 'Hermione, you have nothing to fear. I will never leave you.'

Hermione's heart could have burst right out of her chest at the utterance of those words, especially the use of her first name. She tried not to cry, but the tears came naturally after months of holding everything inside.

'I saved you because even though you never gave me the time of day, I don't think I could have lasted a day knowing that you weren't there to ignore me. I feel strangely connected to you, like I have to do my best because anything less than that would let you down. I know this sounds silly, but even though I don't really know you, I feel like you're the only one who knows me.' She stopped and looked at his face, searching for a sign of disgust. She didn't find it.

'Hermione, how did you know you were bonded to the bird?' Snape asked quickly.

'As soon as I saw the picture in the book. I tried to rationalize it, but then I remembered wishing for help with deciding which assignment to do first, and then was interrupted with your letter.'

'Ah, so your wish was granted when my letter conveyed the sign that you should complete Potions first. Interesting. Miss Granger, I do believe there is something else you should know about this bird,' Snape said softly, 'Even with its death, the bond isn't broken until the person's purest desire is fulfilled.'

Hermione gasped. _Oh no, I don't even know what mine is, but I can bet it has something to do with him_ , she thought.

'Unfortunately,' he continued even softer, 'many people deny what their hearts are truly seeking and end up living miserable lives. Yes, the bird grants wishes, so to speak, but they always have a common goal of acquiring that one desire. So if you deny it, you'll always be reminded of that which you will not admit to.'

He watched her face become paler than his.

'You mean to tell me,' she sputtered, 'that I need to figure out what my deepest desire is and do something about it? What if I can't? Then what, I'm doomed?!' She was starting to panic.

_I know he has something to do with it, but he'll never want me in the way that would break the bond- never._

He twitched his head, 'Yes, I do. You need to be honest with yourself and those around you, or suffer dearly.'

She moved their hands, still connected, from his heart to his cheek. 'I do believe I already know what my heart seeks the most.'

She heard his breath hitch a tiny bit before he let out an almost inaudible, 'Yes…?'

'Headmaster, I do believe that-,'

'Miss Granger! Release your wards!' It was Professor McGonagall.

 _Bloody brilliant timing_ , Hermione noted.

She waved her wand, allowing the older witch to run through to where she was on the ground with Snape, and commanded, 'What on Earth happened here?'

'Professor,' Hermione started, 'I really think we should get the Headmaster to the infirmary before I start the story. I have given him a blood replenishing potion, but he still has several broken ribs.'

McGonagall eyed the two before speaking, 'Yes, Poppy is waiting for his arrival. Now Miss Granger, please repeat after me. _Humano locomoto_.'

Hermione did as she was told, and the two witches were able to levitate Snape easily and transport him inside the castle to Poppy.

After some unsuccessful attempts to get him through the doorway (and some colorful words on Snape's part), he was finally placed on a bed in a secluded room. Poppy started flitting about the room, and then beckoned for the other two witches to follow her out. As Hermione was about to leave, she felt a hand grasp hers.

'Miss Granger, you cannot expect me to last through Poppy's intensive care without you finishing your thought from the forest.' Snape looked at her desperately.

Hermione bit her lip and looked down at their hands. _You can do this. He must have some idea anyway. Just do it. It's not like things could get any worse_.

She started slowly, 'Headmaster. I do believe that,' she paused and took a deep breath before continuing, 'I am most certain that my deepest desire is,' she looked up at the man lying before her, 'you.'

With that one last word, she managed to unclasp her hand from his and dash out of the room in one giant bound.

Desperate to return to her rooms, she found a concerned McGonagall and Poppy eyeing her curiously and waiting for some explanation.

'Headmaster Snape was attacked by an animal in the forest while we were searching for the _fleur de Lune_ , a rare flower that only blossoms in the moonlight, for a Potions project. I requested his assistance and he grudgingly agreed,' she turned to Poppy. 'I gave him a blood replenishing potion and tied off the bite, but a quick diagnostic spell alerted me that he has several broken ribs. I apologize for my terseness, but I am horribly tired and a bit shaken.' She stopped and glanced at McGonagall, who replied.

'Of course Miss Granger, you need some rest. I am so sorry you had to see that, but grateful you were able to help him. Here,' she handed Hermione a vial, 'a small dosage of Dreamless Sleep should help you tonight.'

Hermione took the vial with a nod and headed out of the infirmary and to her rooms.

Once there, she stripped off her clothes and wrapped herself in her blankets. _Now I suppose I just wait for my expulsion_ , she sighed. She reached over to her nightstand, where she had placed the vial, and downed the contents in one gulp. She was going to need it alright, just not for the reasons McGonagall thought.


	7. A Wish in the Dark

Severus opened his eyes and then closed them instantly. He repeated this process several times before he was finally able to convince himself that he was not dreaming. His life may have seemed like a dream, but everything that had transpired in the past few hours had been very real.

 _I am Hermione Granger's deepest desire_.

But what exactly did that mean? There were many ways that he could fulfill that desire: sex, friendship, his attention- any of those could be what she secretly craved. _But gods, which is the real one_.

It took Severus some time before he actually comprehended the fact that the most intelligent witch he had known was interested in _him,_ the bat of the dungeon. He couldn't believe that she actually found the courage to tell him that herself. _Damn that Gryffindor courage_ , he snickered to himself.

He sat up slowly and stared at the clock on the wall in front of him. It was almost midnight. Poppy had instructed him, or rather _demanded,_ to stay the night so she could check his vitals in the morning. Hermione had been right in that he severely hurt his arm and had several broken ribs. Was he surprised at her correct diagnosis? A clue, no. In fact, he was surprised that she hadn't mended him herself! Wasn't she always going on about the idea of becoming a healer after she graduated?

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard faint footsteps approaching his door. He quickly shut his eyes and pretended to sleep.

'I'm sure he'll be good as new by tomorrow, Professor.' It was Poppy's voice.

'Thank you Poppy. I'm still not quite sure what to make out of this whole situation, but nevertheless I am glad Miss Granger insisted that he accompany her into the forest. Heavens knows what might have happened if she had gone alone.' Professor McGonagall replied.

Poppy silently closed the door and Severus listened intently until the two nosy women left the infirmary.

'Nosy little chits,' Severus mumbled to himself, 'They would be best to let it alone.'

He was positive that Minerva wasn't going to drop the matter- especially not after having witnessed his head resting comfortably in Hermione's lap. He understood the position both he and Hermione could be put in if anyone found out about their inevitable relationship- because let's be honest, it was bound to happen.

For a moment, Severus contemplated what it would be like to truly be with someone who he could adore wholeheartedly and who did the same in return. There was only one woman who came to his mind. He mentally told himself that he was going to quickly fall down a slippery slope if something was not done to ease the concerns that his brain held. He knew they would need to talk, but when? The way she had run out of the room had made him feel insecure. _Is she ashamed of me?_ He couldn't help the grimace that plagued his face at that thought.

Again, his thoughts were interrupted, and knowing neither McGonagall nor Poppy would have returned at this hour, he became the alert spy he once was. He heard a single set of footsteps slowly make its way towards his door.

'Lumos,' he heard a small voice whisper. Instinctively, Severus grabbed his wand off the nightstand next to his bed and held it at his side.

The door handle turned slowly and at the same time Severus readied himself for whatever danger could be lurking. The door finally opened and he heard a strained, 'Headmaster?'

_Hermione._

He breathed a sigh, more of contentedness than relief, and watched her walk into the room slowly.

'Miss Granger,' Hermione froze instantly at the sound of that silky voice, 'I must say that your presence here at such a late hour is hardly appropriate. Do you agree?'

The girl blushed madly and looked down at her hands.

'I- I just wante- I just wanted to makesureyoureokay,' she stammered incoherently.

Severus chuckled darkly, 'Come here'.

He beckoned to her and she approached him with a small smile, sitting next to him on the edge of the bed.

'And in response to your babbling, I am doing just fine, thank you. But then, I owe my life to you again Miss Granger, so I'm not surprised that I wouldn't be doing any less.'

Hermione blushed at those words, but said nothing.

'You have a wonderful blush,' he muttered softly and reached out a hand to her cheek, which she allowed willingly. 'Now tell me,' he continued, 'why are you really here? It's very late and I suspect you have classes in the morning.'

He waited for what seemed like forever before she answered.

'I really couldn't sleep, sir. What no one knows, aside from you now, is that Dreamless Sleep hardly ever works on me anymore. After the War and other things…I- I found myself taking more than I probably should have, but I just couldn't stop the horrible nightmares. I realized that I could end up with a serious problem so I stopped, and eventually the dreams subsided on their own. The little bit that Professor McGonagall gave me tonight wouldn't have been enough for me three weeks after the War, let alone now.

I also felt slightly ashamed for leaving you as quickly as I did. It was immature and I'm sure you felt it quite annoying. It's just, I've never been able to say that to someone before and really mean it. I know that I shouldn't even be thinking things like this because of our school relationship, but come May I'm done with this place and I…,' she gulped and took a deep breath. 'I just can't help thinking that this,' she motioned her hand between the two of them, 'could be more?' She paused, realizing that she had ended that statement quizzically and then repeated herself, 'Excuse me, could be _more.'_ She placed emphasis on the 'more' and the definiteness of that part of her declaration.

'Hermione,' Severus started. 'I don't think I could express enough happiness at those words. I'd have to be daft to let someone like you, who has any interest in someone like me, slip from my grasp. While I do believe that we will have to plan and be extremely cautious, I see no reason why we should ever fear becoming more than what we are now. That is, if you would want that…' He looked at her questioningly, almost holding his breath.

'Sir, I don't think there's anything I want more. Well, actually,' she giggled, 'apparently there _isn't_ anything I want more, according to that stupid bird! Speaking of which, that's another matter entirely. I feel bad that you've basically been dragged into that. I really had no idea.' She looked down at her hands again.

Severus reached out to her and gently lifted her chin with his soft hands, turning her face towards his.

'So much for being the 'brightest witch' of your age! Would I really just tell you what I did and then be upset for a bird that is granting your deepest desire? Which, I might add, happens to be me?'

Again, the young woman blushed, only Severus noted it this time by softly stroking her cheek. Hermione turned towards her Professor and bore her eyes into his, a gaze with which he happily returned.

They allowed the silence to complete the moment as they sat just looking into each others eyes. Hermione broke the silence.

'I'm scared. I always have been. I was scared of losing you to death and now I'm scared that I'll just lose you. It's awful.' She continued to look into his dark eyes.

'You have nothing to fear. Absolutely nothing. Aside from freak accidents in the forest, we are both perfectly safe now. I promise you. I'm not a man who breaks promises, nor would I ever intend to do so with you. Please trust me on that.' He smiled softly at her.

'I just wish that I knew for a fact that all of this was real.' The instant those words left her mouth, her hand shot up and covered the place where they had come from. She groaned, 'I think I just inadvertently wished for something.'

Severus sat up, his back flat the headboard, 'Hermione,' he whispered gently.

She looked at him, a longing bubbling to the surface of her eyes, and leaned into him as his gently pulled her face towards his.

With just a whispers distance between their lips, he spoke.

'I just want you to know that, wish or no wish, I still would have ended this conversation as such…'

With that, he slowly eliminated the remaining space, placing his lips tenderly to hers.


	8. A Promise

Hermione had a horrible time concentrating the next day.

She had woken up, already flushed with memories from the night before, and touched her lips slowly, as if everything really had been a dream. She couldn't believe that Snape had actually kissed her- and it had been bloody good too. For a while she had to remind herself that the bird played some part in how that evening ended, but then remember the words he had spoken to her.

He had wanted to kiss her. She blushed as she thought about having his surprisingly soft lips on hers again. There was absolutely no way she was going to be able to ever go back from this interaction. In fact, she wanted so much more, however it had nothing to do with the stupid bird and everything to do with the fact that she wanted him. She wanted her forty-odd something Headmaster and apparently he wanted his twenty-one year old student.

Everything that was Hermione Granger shouted at her that this wasn't right, but that was pre-War Hermione.

The post-War Hermione reminded her of how short and precious life really is- even without magic.

Even though wizards and witches were granted extended lifetime, they were not immortal and Voldemort proved that. Horcruxes couldn't even stop the inevitable. What would be would be- death would find you one way or another.

She couldn't even fathom the thought of losing him again, and she would stay with him as long as he would allow her to. She tried picturing the rest of her life: a career, marriage, a family perhaps, and each scenario had one thing in common- Severus Snape. The only problem, well okay there was more than just one problem, but the biggest one seemed to be whether he would want any of those things. A career- yes. He valued her most for her intellect and would want her to do whatever she could with that gift. But marriage? A family? Those seemed like they would be foreign words to him.

She sighed, and was quickly brought back to her Transfiguration class with an order by McGonagall to see her after class. Harry and Ron looked confusingly at each other, but didn't dare to ask Hermione about the reasoning behind McGonagall's request.

After class ended, the two boys approached Hermione.

'Hermione, are you alright?' Harry asked carefully.

She sighed and turned to the two boys, 'Yes, I'm quite alright. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm sure Professor wants to ask the same thing as well. I'll meet up with you two in a bit.'

Satisfied with her response, Harry placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, smiled, and herded Ron out of the classroom. Hermione stood up slowly and approached her Professor's desk.

The older woman peered over her glasses at Hermione, 'Hermione, dear, how are you feeling? You seemed quite distracted today.'

 _Phew, she thinks I'm still just shaken from last night_. Hermione smiled softly at her mentor before replying, 'I'm sorry Professor. I suppose I didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked last night, but I am fine other than being a tad tired.'

She prayed that she could pull off that small lie just for today. Her prayer was answered when McGonagall nodded her head understandingly.

'Of course! Please take it easy today, Hermione. You don't want to fall ill from lack of rest.'

With that, Hermione murmured a 'thanks', smiled appreciatively, and left the room.

_Thank the gods. I can't even imagine what would happen if she knew the truth about last night._

She was so caught up in her silent prayer of thanks, that she didn't notice the dark figure walking towards her.

'Miss Granger,' she was startled out of her thoughts, 'I don't suppose you were thinking about whether or not you should watch where you're going whilst walking through the corridors, were you?' His silky voice made her blush for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day.

'I'm sorry, Headmaster,' she gave a small bow of her head, which caused Snape to frown.

'Miss Granger,' he whispered, 'there's no need for such formalities, I assure you.' He looked kindly into her eyes. She smiled brightly and returned his gaze.

She needed him desperately.

* * *

Severus would never get over just how deliciously attractive Hermione was when she blushed on his account. And secretly, he hoped that he would never have to. The truth of the matter was simple now: he wanted her and she wanted him.

Unconventional, and inappropriate, as it seemed, they really were perfect for each other. Even before she saved his life the first time, he always felt a small pull to the Gryffindor. He just needed to make sure he went about this relationship the right way, or put a great deal at risk.

'I was actually just coming to find you, Miss Granger. Would you mind following me to my office for a quick chat?'

'Of course, sir!'

The two walked silently to his office, never noticing the looks of sympathy from the on looking students, and professors.

Once they were inside his office, Severus motioned for her to take a seat in the chair across from his and started talking at once.

'Miss Granger, I'm sure you have some semblance about why you are here right now. Last night was…something that should not have happened.' He looked directly into her eyes and watched grief spread like wildfire over her features.

_Silly girl, don't be so quick to assume the worst._

He continued, 'But I don't think I've been quite this happy in years. As we talked about before, whatever transpires in the months to come will have to remain discrete and completely private. You cannot tell anyone. Once your time at Hogwarts has ended then we can reevaluate the situation, but this cannot be shared between anyone but us. Do you understand?'

Hermione nodded furiously.

'As for the bird, you are going to have to be careful with what you say. Since your wishes are pure, I am almost certain that everything will be granted. You don't know when, but they will be fulfilled and it can cause trouble sometimes.'

He looked at her curiously. 'What are you thinking about?'

She started slowly, 'Well, sir, it's just that for the matter of what my deepest desire is- how will I know when that's been fulfilled?'

His smile was almost menacing, 'Don't worry, you will know. I cannot tell you how because it is different for everyone, so I've read, but you will be left with something to remember your bonding.'

Suddenly, his smile disappeared and he turned serious again.

'Hermione,' he could sense her shiver slightly at the use of her first name, 'there is one more thing.'

'What is it? You can tell me anything, sir!' She stared desperately back at him.

'I need to know that this is what you truly want. I'm an aged man. I'm not young like I once was, and I'm certainly not anywhere near your age. Anything that changes in my life now is…,' he stopped talking to stare into her eyes, into her soul, 'well, it is permanent. I don't want to rush or scare you, but don't expect me to allow this to be treated like a high school fling. I don't do flings. This won't be a joke to me. If in the following weeks you start to feel differently, which I wouldn't hold against you, then you must tell me instantly.

I will not be forced to hold onto someone or something that no longer exists. I did that for my entire lifetime already, and I don't plan on doing it again. I will put as much into this as you allow, and will return your affections with as much meaning and sincerity as you do. Communication is going to be key for this- for us. Hermione, you can trust me with anything, tell me anything, show me anything- I am a confident, a friend, whatever you need. I will be here for you, I promise. Always.'

He breathed a long breath out before leaning across the table to gently brush the tears of happiness that Hermione had started to shed. When she composed herself, she responded.

'Sir that is absolutely the most meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. You must believe me when I tell you that even before this silly bird, there already was nothing I wanted more than you. I tried to delude myself into thinking that it was just some school-girl crush, but eventually I had to realize that it wasn't. I know that we really know very little about each other, but when you speak and when you look at me, I feel- I don't know- connected? Almost like we are living and speaking through each other even though we're always apart.

I will never hurt you the way you have been hurt before. I couldn't. I've seen too much, done too much, lived too much to ever let anything happen that would drive you away. You're not a fling, you're real and this is what I want- bird or no bird. And, likewise sir, you can tell me anything.'

Their eyes met and they allowed a peaceful silence to flow through them.

'Very well, Hermione, I shall keep all that in mind. Now on a side note, you will start private potions classes with me next week. You'll need an apprenticeship to acquire any reasonable job after school, and I believe that is the area in which you should pursue. Is that satisfactory?'

Even though he asked it as a question, he formed it as more of a statement in his mind.

'Of course, Headmaster! Thank you for this opportunity!' She smiled.

'It would be my pleasure. Now I do believe I have kept you long enough. I am glad we were able to talk finally, and I look forward to starting next week.' He looked down at his hands, which caused Hermione to frown.

'Sir, what's wrong?'

'I'm afraid this was never my area of expertise,' he motioned his hand between the two of them, 'so I find myself wishing that I had some way of knowing that _this_ was real.'

Hermione smiled, and rose from her chair. She walked slowly to where Severus sat and placed her right hand on his cheek. Carefully, she moved in closer and softly pressed her lips against his. Without a word, she brushed his cheek lightly, smiled, and left his office.

_Merlin, she is going to be the death of me._

'Well, Severus. I daresay that you care terribly for the girl.'

Severus turned around to face the old Headmaster who was twinkling a little too much for a picture.


	9. Advice from Albus

Severus rolled his eyes, 'Don't you have anything better to do than spy on me? The war is over, old man.'

The last thing Severus needed was the meddling old fool involved in any relationship he was going to establish- especially one with a student at Hogwarts. _The_ student at Hogwarts.

Dumbledore chuckled as if he had read Severus' mind, 'My dear boy, I couldn't be happier for you- truly. You deserve every amount of happiness that you can find, and I believe Miss Granger holds that key. Don't underestimate her. She cares deeply for you as well, I can see it. But remember, she's still a student and you're vastly older than her. Don't push her away. You need her as much as she needs you.'

Severus frowned, _the old coot is right, but am I really truly ready for this- for anyone_?

All his life Severus was pushed into the shadows by people who were better than him, stronger than him, more popular than him- everything that you could ever imagine. He never really knew what love was growing up because if his mom had loved him, then she never would have let her husband do the things he did to their family.

And Lily. Well, he knew that she never loved him. She loved James Potter, herself, and Harry. Years of torturing himself over her death led him to wonder if he ever would know love, or at least what it was like to have someone really care for you.

Severus was a hardly a sentimental man, but there are still certain things in life that every human needs to really survive. That was part of the problem for him- he dedicated his life to the survival of others, only doing the bare minimum to keep himself safe, but not once did he ever have someone fight for his survival. That was, until Miss Granger came along.

She was the first person who ever showed genuine concern for him. And by genuine, he meant thinking of him and not ulterior goals she could achieve by helping him. If people wanted to bring up the age issue, he'd gladly remind them that a girl half the age of an adult man was the one to see to his safety when no one else would. He would take being labeled a lecher and being with someone who cared about him, than waste the rest of his life with some ninny who cared only about the roast duck on the table and the jewels in her ears.

 _Okay, maybe that was taking it a bit far._ He really didn't want to be thought of as a pedophile, but it seemed that it was going to be inevitable.

They still had so much to learn about one another, and yet he felt that by her choice of actions he already knew her.

Anyone who would choose to protect the life of a former Death Eater over that of her own was hardly a person who could be misconstrued as having bad character. Just by that display of strength and bravery, he knew who she was and that was hardly someone he was just going to give up.

He didn't care that Severus Snape 'wasn't supposed to have feelings or crave human interactions', but alas he _was_ human and that would never change.

All the years spent alone, spying, and holding in all the pain he had to suffer really took its toll on him. While he never would have admitted this, there were countless number of times that he wished he could have had someone to confide in or to just hold on the nights the Dark Lord was particularly fond of the Cruciatus Curse. Even though he put up the front that he wanted to be alone, that couldn't have been further from the truth.

He had decided long ago that alone was the only thing he would ever know because it left little room for disappointment or hurt, but now he found himself hoping for this to work out more than anything.

He always knew he wasn't the most attractive man in the world, but he would do anything to protect those whom he loved, and had enough funds to hold him over until the end of time. He recognized the mistakes he made as a young man and paid dearly for them, but now it was time to finally put that in the past.

He muttered to himself out loud, 'Ugh, what would people think if they knew that the 'bat of the dungeons' hated being alone?'

Completely forgetting that he wasn't the only 'one' in the room, Dumbledore's voice startled him when he replied,

'My boy, they would remember that you are human too and deserve company more than anyone else. Do not be afraid to admit that you are lonely. You have beaten yourself up far too much over your past, it's time to be happy. What others think is none of your business. You have been helping others for far too long that you've forgotten to help yourself.'

Severus rolled his eyes, but found himself replying to the old wizard.

'So you don't believe this is wrong? Or a mistake? I'd hate to ruin a life that has barely begun…'

'Severus. I think you know as well as I do that Miss Granger's life began the moment she met Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley. She has developed and grown far past what she should have at the age that she did. Most fully grown witches and wizards have not endured what she has, or have suffered the pain and torment she was subjected to. You two are kindred spirits birthed in different times. Age is merely a number in this instance, and I would think you to be a dunderhead if you let such trivial matters define your choices.'

As much as Severus hated to admit it, Dumbledore was right. After everything they've been through and seen who would have the nerve to deny either one of them the happiness that they craved? It would be a long road ahead, but he was positive that it would be well worth it in the end.

'Albus,' Severus started, 'you have once again outdone yourself with words of advice. I only hope that listening to a talking portrait isn't as foolish as it seems.'

Dumbledore chuckled again, 'Severus, I am not the foolish one in this equation.'

With one last twinkle, he got up from his statuesque chair and walked to another portrait.


	10. Happy Birthday, Hermione

Hermione kept replaying the conversation she had with Snape over in her head. He wanted to have a relationship with her- a proper one at that too!

She frowned a bit. It hardly seemed like his character to willingly let himself be vulnerable and open, especially with a student. _Did he really mean all of that? How can I even be sure?_

It seemed that it was time for Hermione Granger to do what she did best- research. She had to find out more about this bird. There's no way it could just prance around bonding with people and granting wishes at another person's expense!

 _What if her deepest desire was him, but his wasn't hers? Did the bird's magic cause him to act like that?_ There was so much that she needed to find out before she drove herself insane. She needed a quiet place where she wouldn't be bothered, not just because she worked best alone, but because today was also her birthday.

She sighed at that thought. She would normally look forward to this occasion, but that was when she actually had a family to celebrate it with. After the War, Hermione had returned to her parents, anxious to reverse her Obliviate, but was faced with an empty house. Sometime during those months, her parents decided to move- probably because of the unrest in England and the inability to control the Dark events affecting the Muggle world. At that point, she didn't attempt to locate them- it hurt too much and she considered it to be her own punishment for her selfish involvement. If she hadn't cared so much about the world that her parents didn't even belong to, then maybe she'd be celebrating with mum's lemon cake tonight.

A silent tear slid down her cheek at the thought of those memories. She missed her parents dearly, but she figured they were safe and happy now.

It was best if she just forgot about her birthday. Besides, it's not as if people would remember it anyway- she never considered it a huge deal. She made a mental note to treat herself to something nice the next time she was able to take a trip into Hogsmeade.

Casting a quick Tempus, she noted that if she hurried she could get in a good two hours of restricted section research before it closed for the night. She grabbed her bag and headed in that direction.

* * *

*SLAM!*

After thirty minutes of browsing, Hermione dropped five large books on the table she found in the back of the section marked "Creatures." She prayed that at least one of them contained some more information on her bird. She knew quite a lot about it already, but there were still so many important and unanswered questions.

' _Aves cupios, aves cupios, aves cupios_ …,' Hermione chanted silently to herself as she flipped hurriedly through one of the books. Nothing. She sighed and picked up the second one in the pile. She had a feeling that she might have to come back another day in order to properly research.

She had already spent a good hour and a half finding nothing and was seriously contemplating tossing each and every one of the good for nothing books out the castle window, when she looked down at the last book in her pile. She smiled devilishly.

'Happy Birthday to me,' she mumbled. 'I wish this book had everything I need to know about _aves cupios_.'

Normally she would have severely frowned against using magic for research, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Within seconds, the book in front of her started flipping pages automatically until it reached the chapter on her bird. She smiled excitedly and ravenously dug into the chapter.

She had only been reading for about five minutes, when she got to the section that she sought the most: _Bonding._

'The bond between this creature and a human is one of most desired of all magical creatures because it dictates the character of the human. The _aves cupios_ only bonds to those whose desires are pure of heart and of mind. These bonds are extremely rare due to the fact that the bird seeks to find a human whose desires match those of another. The magical qualities of the bird are strong enough to seek out a bond such as this one, but being the rarest type of bond, most of the birds find only humans with a pure heart.

The bird never bonds with a human whose wishes would never be received by another, for it serves a purpose of happiness and not one of hurt. The bond is broken once the deepest desire of the bonded human has been satisfied. The human is then left with a token to remember the bond and the happiness granted to him or her. In the case of the double human bond, where the unbonded human is merely affected due to his or her matching desires to the bonded, he or she will also receive a token of the bond.

To date, tokens have included pendants, feather headpieces, and rings of gold. Only two cases of double human bonding have been recorded and the tokens were not able to be retrieved by researchers.'

 _Well,_ Hermione thought, _that explains a lot_. At least she knew that Snape hadn't been talking under the influence of the bird, and now his feelings for her were confirmed. Snape really did want her. That knowledge was probably the best birthday present she had ever received. She smiled to herself.

So, she was bonded to the bird, most likely because Snape's desires matched her own. _Were his feelings always like that?_ They've only been talking recently- in fact, it was really only since the arrival of the bird. _How could he have possibly had these feelings before?_ She found herself growing weary at the new string of questions that began plaguing her mind. Eventually she was going to have to ask him, but she figured it was best to wait until they grew more accustomed to one another.

She quickly and effortlessly placed her selections back onto their appropriate shelves, and walked back to her dormitory completely lost in thought.

She wasn't surprised when she found the common room empty aside from the crackling fire, and sighing, she made her way up to her private rooms. She opened the door and froze without having taken a step through the corridor.

Floating delicately above her bed was a banner that read 'Happy Birthday, Hermione!' and balloons that sparkled as they floated gracefully around the room. She silently closed her door and wiped away the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. On her bureau was a card and two presents, one wrapped carefully- clearly Ginny's work- and the other not so much. _Oh Harry_ , Hermione chuckled to herself. She opened the card,

**Happy Birthday, 'Mione!**

**I know you'd never think we would forget! We know that it's not something you like to share, but we'd never miss the day to let you know how much you mean to us! Ron worked on the décor- impressive, eh?! Ginny and I wanted to get you a little something special.**

**You'll always be a best friend and sister to us!**

**Love,**

**Harry, Ron, and Ginny**

Hermione couldn't believe it. How could she have thought that her best friends would forget her birthday?

She carefully unwrapped Ginny's present first- handmade perfume composed of her favorite scents that changed depending on her mood. Harry gifted her a quill that would never run out of ink. She laughed, _he knows me so well_.

She was so elated that despite the fact that she no longer had her parents, she still had the best family she could ever ask for.

She happily changed into her night-clothes, and was climbing into bed when she saw a small package sitting on her windowsill. She couldn't think of anyone else who would have known it was her birthday, so she picked up the package carefully. She cast a quick revealing spell to check for any dark magic, and watched the brown paper change into dark green. Taking that as a sign to continue, she opened the package and pulled out a small card.

**Happy Birthday.**

She pulled out the most exquisite dragon skin notebook that she had ever seen, and flipped through it gently. It was absolutely perfect for her new apprenticeship. She went to put it carefully back into the box when she noticed a smaller box. She lifted it up and opened it excitedly, peering inside.

_Lemon cake._

She was so stunned that she almost dropped the sweet. _Wh- who could have possibly known?_ That secret wasn't even something that she had shared with her friends. She closed her eyes, unwilling to cry anymore, and sampled the cake. It was perfect. It was just what she needed.

 _But who would have done such a thing?_ She was confused and picked up the small card once more. How could she have missed the elegant script! The green wrapping, the notebook- Snape. He didn't even know today was her birthday, or at least she didn't think he did, but yet he knew exactly what it was she needed.

There was no denying before that he cared about her, but this just showed how deeply his feelings ran. Hermione made a silent promise to herself that she would treat him just the same, glided into bed with a smile on her face, and gave a tiny thought of appreciation to the bird that had made this all possible.


	11. Thoughts of a Potions Master

The next morning found a very restless Severus Snape.

He had taken a big chance by acknowledging Hermione's birthday and hoped that it was not a mistake. He wanted to show the girl that he was not the evil monster that people made him out to be- and had acted like in the past. Underneath the façade was a plain, quiet, smart man who just wanted to live a normal life away from the danger that he had already experienced. You could only get so far with intellect, which he was fully aware of, and he didn't want to spend what was left of his life playing parent to unruly dunderheads. He could never ever admit that though, his reputation would be ruined!

Even though he really wasn't as awful as he made himself out to be, he couldn't complain about the level of respect he was given- even if some of it was more out of fear. He already knew that Hermione respected him, and not out of fear, but he was ready for her to see him in a different light. That was part of the reason he had put together the private 'apprenticeship' classes. He wanted the chance for them to really get to know one another whilst doing something that they both had a passion for.

What she didn't know was that she could have skipped this year entirely and any apprenticeship, and still have gotten an incredible job.

Aside from being a War Hero, she was the brains behind the success of the Golden Trio. Horcrux or not, there was no way Harry would have gotten to where he did without her knowledge and without her ability to keep the group from killing one another.

She was entirely a breed of her own, and that was exactly what Severus adored about her. She paid no mind to what others thought about her or her intellect, and lived her life to be the very best that she could be. He couldn't even imagine the type of parents who could have raised such an outstanding person, and made a mental note to ask her about them. He had been without parents for so long that the topic no longer hurt him and he found himself curious at times to hear about how different his life could have been if he had been born into a different family.

That was another reason he secretly had always wanted a family- to prove that you didn't always end up like your parents.

He knew for a fact that he could never do what his father did to his own child. He had seen enough children tortured in his day, and while he made sure that he never had to partake in that type of 'entertainment', it still enraged him to think that a child's parent could cause harm to him or her.

When he was younger he always attributed his abuse to not being good enough, or not being what his parents had wanted, but he slowly realized that abuse is never the child's fault. He was not a bad child. He was not a bad son, and he'd be damned if he ever found out that a child of his own ever had those thoughts as well.

He never would have considered himself a 'family man'- and really still didn't- but there was nothing worse than being alone when you saw how almost everyone else was able to be with someone that he or she considered an equal.

Severus was glad that he never found anyone of the sort whilst he was wrapped up in the doings of the Dark Lord, for even the slightest distractions were dangerous on his part. Then again, he couldn't think of anyone that he had interacted with who would have come close to being his equal. That was before he actually saw what he had been interacting with all along. _Well if you consider 'interacting' verbally abusing_... he snorted to himself.

Whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, Hermione Granger was every bit his equal- from her insatiable need to learn, to her impeccable knowledge on the most exceptional topics. She also valued legitimate characteristics over superficial needs. She was the type of girl who would never admit to being beautiful, even though she was, but would settle for taking pride in the fact that she was healthy and alive. Material possessions and worldly values didn't faze her- which is probably why her previous relationships didn't last as long as expected. Krum was all about the physical things _,_ and everyone knows there's nothing worldly about the Weasley boy- but Severus, he had something, or rather everything, that she wanted.

It wasn't going to be easy, what with nosy faculty members and a media that would give anything to have a 'sensational' story such as: _War Heroine Seeks Comfort in ex-Death Eater_ \- it was most definitely going to be a long road to any future that they might have.

First thing was that no one could find out about them. Especially because she was still technically a student and he was supposed to be her superior. That was going to be the hardest to pull off, especially if their interactions started to progress more seriously. He would never put her in a compromising position or force her to do anything that she wasn't comfortable with, but from her words and actions it didn't seem like they were going to have that problem. He had this strange feeling the small spark that had already ignited was going to burst into flames at any moment- he just wanted to make sure that he could keep the fire contained.

He also wanted to cultivate her skills as much as he possibly could.

Severus wanted Hermione Granger to be as great as he was, and with hard work and long hours, he was almost certain that would come to pass. He had the opportunity to shape one of the greatest minds that had ever graced the Wizarding World and he wasn't going to ruin that chance. He would make sure that her name was known for much more than just helping to defeat the most evil wizard that they had ever known. She would be great, and she would _(hopefully)_ be his. He had never wanted something so much in his entire existence without fully understanding what he was getting himself involved in. Yes, he knew the basics of what a woman was and wanted, but this was not an ordinary woman, and he still had much to learn when it came to everything Hermione Granger. He really hoped that these lessons would do much more good than the harm they potentially could.

Aside from putting together lessons, Severus was finding it hard to forget about the bond that the bird still had with Hermione. _She must want something much more for it to have not broken with a kiss_ , he thought to himself, _but what could she possibly want from me?_ A million ideas began to swim in his head, but he couldn't grasp the concept that she would ever want anything to do with them. He was still at a loss that all of this was coming to fruition, but he wasn't going to continue to let that hold him back. He had lessons to plan.


	12. The First Lesson

* _knock knock_ *

'Enter.'

No matter how many times she had heard it, the smooth- yet prickly- voice of Severus Snape gave Hermione goosebumps every time.

Tonight was the first night of her apprentice classes, and she was more than nervous. She knew that the potions part of the class wasn't going to be hard, it was the Snape part of the class that was going to do her in.

She pushed opened the door to the potions lab and quietly walked to the first desk that Snape had set up for her to work at. She set her belongings down, attempting not to disrupt him from his work, but found his eyes watching her carefully. She allowed a faint blush to creep onto her cheeks and took note of the instructions he had written on the blackboard in front of her:

_Turn to page 587 in your 'Guide to Masters' Potions' textbook._

_Read the instructions and begin brewing the potion._

Hermione cocked her head slightly and frowned. _How are these lessons going to help me if I'm to brew the potions alone? I don't even know what it is!_ Her visible annoyance didn't go unnoticed by the dark teacher sitting in front of her, but she sat down and began to read despite her unanswered questions.

Severus was trying very hard not to chuckle at the site before him: Miss Granger, a book, a board with two simple instructions, and the most confused face he had ever seen. _Clearly she didn't think that these classes were going to be simple did she?_ No, he wanted to see just how far her intelligence could be stretched, after all a potions master was just that- a master.

He continued to create plans for her, which included some of the most advanced potions available to the wizarding world, and incorporated some of the hardest to find and most dangerous ingredients. The potion she was brewing now was to counter the effects one might get having consumed an incredibly large dosage of Dreamless Sleep. It was relatively easy to brew, but required perfect technique that would make or break the effectiveness of the potion. He was also curious as to whether or not she could tell what a potion was by its ingredients- something that was required for any successful Potions Master.

* * *

_Add the final drop of spearmint extract and stir counterclockwise for four complete stirs._

Hermione was a mess. Her hair, no longer tamable from the heat of the potion and her own sweat, was now piled on top of her head, her outer robes completely off, leaving only her uniform and her dress tie unknotted and lying flat against her shirt- courtesy of a sticking charm.

It wasn't a hard potion, not at all, but it required specific attention and detail that could not be messed with, or the entire potion would be ruined. So far she had performed perfectly and had achieved the results necessary, now she just had to finish the last step.

All throughout the process she noted every detail and color, every stir and measurement in her gifted notebook. She had felt Snape's eyes on her numerous times, and wanted to seem prepared to answer any questions that he might ask her later on.

As she carefully added the last ingredient into the potion and completed the stirs, she removed her stirrer and monitored the color with her notebook in hand. She looked at the beautiful gift and smiled to herself. While he hadn't acknowledged her note, she made sure that she expressed her gratitude the very next day after her birthday. His graciousness was completely unexpected and not at all necessary, but a big part of her was glad that he had showed interest in her birthing holiday. _Maybe that was the first step in proving that he wasn't the big git that everyone pegged him as?_

She already knew that he wasn't a horrible person, and was looking forward to getting to know more about him, so the silence that enveloped her the entire evening left her a bit perturbed. She should have expected some nights of hard work, but the first night? She had imagined all the heart-to-hearts that they would have flowing deep into the latest hours of the night, and now found herself laughing bitterly at those preposterous daydreams. She sighed and turned back down to her potion. It was a pale pink, exactly as it should be. She turned off her burner, bottled it carefully, and walked up to Snape's desk.

She reached out confidently, 'Sir, I'm all finished.'

Snape looked at her blankly before responding.

'Miss Granger would you ever accept a potion that you had no idea what it was for or what it contained?'

That sentence brought back the initial blush from the beginning of the evening to Hermione's cheeks and she spoke again.

'I'm sorry sir. Here is a remedy for the Dreamless Sleep potion. It is composed of everything that would be required in a normal awakening draught, but the spearmint extract makes it more potent and therefore useful for those who have taken too much Dreamless.' She paused and looked up at her mentor, waiting to either be chastised or praised.

Within seconds, Snape whipped out a second vial- one filled with a deep pink liquid.

'Miss Granger, I should assume correctly that you know what this is?'

'Yes, Headmaster. That is Dreamless Sleep, and a rather large dosage if I'm not mistaken.' Hermione looked worried at first, and then quickly put the facts together. 'Sir, please you shouldn't take that much! It's dangerous!' She reached out for the second vial, but wasn't quick enough and watched Snape down its contents in one easy swipe.

'Miss Granger, first lesson of the evening is as follows: Never underestimate your work. That is the most dangerous thing you can do. If you are not confident in your brew, how do you expect an innocent person to be?'

Hermione interrupted, 'But sir! It was my first time- I didn't even know what I was making at first!'

She didn't expect the smile that crept onto his sharp features, 'Hermione, you know as well as I that you were fully aware of the fact that you had properly brewed this potion.'

Hermione didn't say anything, but she just stood there dumbfounded and let him continue.

'Now I suspect this will go into effect in a few minutes, so take the remedy and please follow me.'

* * *

Hermione took the first vial from his hands and followed him through the door that was situated in the front of his classroom. For years, everyone always wondered what Snape's private quarters were like and gossiped that they were probably dark, dirty, and horribly decorated. She was about to find out that each of their suppositions was incredibly incorrect.

Hermione entered a cozy and, ironically, bright sitting room area. The walls were painted a deep emerald green with faint silver vertical pinstripes. To her right was large fireplace set in gunmetal caging with a large portrait of the Syltherin seal hanging above it. To her left was an entire wall of books and in front of the shelves was a rather comfortable looking black leather couch. Straight ahead she could make out two other doors, but decided against inquiring after their uses.

'Hermione?' His voice brought her back to reality. 'You don't need to stand there. My wards recognize you now. Come in.'

She walked through the corridor and followed him to the couch.

'Normally I would never bring a student here during teaching hours, but I'm afraid you wouldn't have been able to carry me had I passed out on the classroom floor. This is much safer. The larger the dosage of Dreamless the more it works as a sleeping aid, so eventually I will fall into a deep sleep and you will administer your remedy. Understood?'

Hermione responded, 'Of course sir, but what happens if it doesn't work?' She started bite her bottom lip and look around nervously.

'I am perfectly confident in the abilities of my apprentice. Is there anything I can get you?' Snape turned to look towards the fire.

'No sir, I'm perfect actually' She blushed a little again and turned to look at his collection of books. 'Your library is absolutely amazing, sir.'

Snape chuckled a little before responding, 'I'm not sure whether to be happy that your love of books might possibly rival that of mine, or be insulted that you consider that my library.'

With a swift wave of his hand, her look of confusion turned into one of absolute wonder. One by one, the shelves folded in towards the wall that 'held' them revealing a hallway lined with hundreds of bookshelves.

'That. Is. Incredible.' Hermione couldn't help herself and she jumped up and walked towards the new hallway. She lightly touched the frame of the new doorway that had just been revealed.

'You are welcome to borrow what you would like. I mean that. I believe, aside from their original owners, I have been the only person to read them. I'm sure they are just dying to fill your mind.' Hermione turned to face a very sincere Severus Snape.

At that moment she felt an odd sense of security with the man. She always felt safe around him, but this feeling rendered more absolute than before. She walked back to where he was on the couch.

'Sir, may I say something?'

He looked at her curiously, 'Of course. I think by now you know that you're always welcome to speak your mind with me.'

She sat down and took a few minutes before she spoke.

'I feel so safe with you. Not in the sense that you'd protect me because I'm a student and that's your job, but safe in the way that…ugh… I can't explain it. It's almost as if there is no one else who could protect me- like it's exactly what you're supposed to do. And after everything I've ever had to do, it makes me feel so incredibly happy to know that I really am safe now. At least, I feel safe.' She turned away and stared into the fire.

'Hermione,' he started, 'you are safe. I promise you that. I have to admit that I am incredibly honored that you feel that way, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that you always feel that way. I will never let anything happen to you. As long as you are in my life you will be protected to the best of my ability.'

'Thank you, sir,' she whispered, 'that really means more than you could ever imagine. But, you have to promise me that nothing will happen to you either. Losing you frightens me more than you could ever imagine. Please don't go.' To Hermione's surprise, no tears threatened to escape her eyes this time after that declaration, and she realized that it was because she meant every word not just emotionally, but physically, spiritually, mentally- everything. Her entire being was attuned to what her life would be like without him, and did whatever it could to prevent that from becoming a reality.

In a friendly gesture, Snape reached out to her and stroked her cheek, 'I will not leave until you order me to.'

Hermione looked into his eyes, 'That will never happen. I promise you.' She started to see his eyes become glossy, and anticipated for sleep to take him, but was surprised when he spoke again.

'Your parents must be so proud, Miss Granger.'

Those words caused Hermione to freeze, and anyone in a normal state of consciousness would have been able to see the clear emotional change on her face, but that escaped Snape.

'I hope they realize how lucky they are to have such a talented and beautiful daughter. Do they?' Hermione couldn't even focus on the fact that he had just called her beautiful, she could only picture the empty house she had come home to after the War. She took a deep breath and responded.

'I don't have parents anymore, sir. I obliviated them before the War started and when I returned to my house to reverse the curse, they had moved out. I don't know where they are. I don't even know if I would be able to return them to their right states of mind.' She pulled her face out of his grasp and turned back to the fire. She didn't want to see his pity.

'Hermione, I –I had no idea. Forgive me, I never would have asked if I knew that.' He forcefully, yet gently, pulled her face back to his, 'May I ask why you never sought the help of anyone? You know I would have helped you.' He was prepared for her tears, but was surprised when a monotone reply left her mouth.

'I know, sir, but it's my fault I had to obliviate them in the first place. They deserve to be happy, and they can't be happy in my world.'

'Surely you don't believe that?' Snape couldn't believe that the fearless Gryffindor princess would give up so easily.

'I do, sir. This is my punishment for my selfish involvement in the War. Please,' she sniffed, 'I'd rather not talk about it.' She placed her hand on his cheek now, 'I do believe that any minute you will be fast asleep, so we best get ready.'

Snape watched her unstopper the vial, and as if by magic he fell asleep moments after she finished her sentence.

_Please, gods, let this work. He's really all I have left._

Hermione poured the liquid down Snape's throat, gently kissed his forehead, and waited.


	13. The Beginning of a Surprise

_Why isn't he waking up?!_ Hermione was doing her best not to panic, but at this point that was really all she was able to do. She had administered her remedy to Severus Snape, and yet he hadn't shown any signs of waking up after nearly five minutes.

 _I couldn't even possibly go and get help- it'd look horrible if someone else saw me in his private rooms! Think Hermione- think!_ She stopped the pacing that she had begun subconsciously, and knelt on the floor next to the man. She began to stroke his face softly.

'Sir? Headmaster Snape? Can you hear me? Please wake up- I'm begging you. You promised you would never leave me! You promised!'

Her worst fear was happening right in front of her- and by her hands too. _Stupid! Hermione, you should have paid more attention to your stirring techniques._ Completely deflated, Hermione remembered how certain Snape was that her remedy would work, and decided to calm herself. She peered at a clock set on a side table near the couch, and decided if he didn't wake up in another ten minutes, then she'd have to go get help. She laid down on the floor next to the couch, with her face towards his, and monitored his slow breathing.

Up. Down. Up. Down. She could get lost in that rhythm forever. If only he really understood how deeply she cared for him. She placed a hand on his chest, and closed her eyes- enjoying the feel of his breathing.

* * *

 _Well, that was interesting_ , Severus thought, _I knew I could trust her._

Ten minutes exactly had passed since Hermione administered the remedy, and Severus was feeling a bit groggy, but altogether quite well. He didn't attempt to stand yet and instead surveyed the couch where he had been put. His movement, however, was inhibited by skin that was not his own. Hermione's arm was draped protectively over the man while she slept peacefully on the floor next to the couch. _Oh gods_ , he thought, _she's even beautiful when she sleeps._ He found himself in a predicament: _to move her or not to move her._ As much as he could lay there, watching her sleep all night, she had to be moved for security reasons. If anyone knew that she was here sleeping now, _boy would I never hear the end of it._

He gently placed his hand on her arm, and was about to move it off him when he suddenly found himself underneath the witch, being gripped tightly, with a wand at his neck.

'Miss Granger, I suggest you lower your wand at once.' The infamous snarl immediately spat.

Hermione blinked furiously and then realized the situation she was currently in.

Her eyes widened, 'Oh my gods, sir, I am so sorry! I- I must have fallen asleep and then when you touched me- well old habits die hard sir, and I'm afraid I thought I was being attacked.' Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence, and Severus found it hard to remain irritated at the fact that he was just jumped on by an armed student. She lowered her wand.

'Well, let's just be grateful that your remedy was as successful as I predicted it to be. I highly doubt you would have woken up in time to try something else before I suffered permanent damage.' Severus glared at her, which caused Hermione to blush.

'Actually sir, you had another five minutes before an alarm I had set went off.' She moved off her Headmaster, and back on the floor below him. 'After that, I was going to go seek professional help. I was nervous because I didn't think that it'd look good for someone else to see me here with you- but I couldn't just let you die. I'd rather risk everything than have that happen.'

Severus looked at the girl carefully, his anger slowly subsiding, and realized that she was being genuine. She really would rather risk any future relationship they might have just to keep him alive.

'Miss Granger, I'm sure, being the bright people we are, that we could have come up with a story to detract from anything seeming inappropriate to an outside person. Thank you for your concern. Once again, I feel as if my life is constantly being held under your protection.' He smirked at her, which cause Hermione to let out a small chuckle.

'Then it's a good thing I'm relatively bright, or you'd have been dead months ago!' She smiled and the dark clothed man.

Severus finally sat up and glanced over at his clock.

'Miss Granger, I do believe it is well past your lesson time. You should really get back to your rooms now before someone does suspect something. Thank you for not being a dunderhead, however, we should work on building the patience that you clearly lack.' He raised one eyebrow at her and continued, 'We shall continue lessons tomorrow at the same time. I assure you they will not always end up like this one.'

Hermione stood and faced Severus. 'Thank you, sir. I'm sorry I fell asleep, but I'm glad you finally woke up. I will see you tomorrow.' She walked to the door that led out of his private rooms and into the classroom, and stopped. She turned around to look at him, still sitting on the couch, 'Goodnight Headmaster Snape. I hope you sleep well.' With that, she opened the door and walked out.

 _What am I going to do with her?_ Severus thought to himself. He didn't exactly know what he was going to do with her, but he certainly knew what he wanted to do and the first thing was to help locate her parents. He was positive that she didn't think he'd remember that conversation due to the Dreamless Sleep, but he remembered every word.

She felt guilty for her role in the War, and therefore was punishing herself by forgetting about her parents. At first, he felt bad for sending her the lemon cake that reminded her of her parents and home, but perhaps it prompted her to actually tell him the truth about their absence. She obviously wasn't going to be receptive to finding them, so he was going to have to do it secretly.

After everything she had done for him, it was the absolute least he could do in return, but he wondered why she just didn't wish for them. He knew that the bond hadn't been broken yet, so it seemed strange that she wasn't taking advantage of that situation. _Because it's Hermione Granger_. Whatever she puts her mind to, it's hard to get her off that path. This was exactly why the bird bonded to her: her desires really were the purest there could be. By not wishing for her parents, she was putting their happiness before her own- truly the definition of selflessness.

Hermione Granger was perfection. Severus Snape was imperfection. She was the sun. He was the moon. She was everything positive, while he seemed to be the negative, but like two magnets they were drawn to one another. With their minds, their spirits, their inherent need to do what's best for everyone but themselves- they were the perfect match. Hermione's pureness was salvation for Severus, and with her he felt that his past no longer dictated what his future would be because she accepted him for who he truly was. He no longer questioned his future, though, because he knew it was with her.

Knowing that his stint with the Dreamless Sleep was going to hamper his ability to sleep any time soon, he finally got up from the couch and proceeded through the door that led to his bedroom. He sat down at the lavish black stained wooden desk stationed in one of the corners, and pulled out some parchment and a quill.

Finding people who didn't want to be found, or in this case didn't know they were being looked for, was a common occurrence that he took part in while a Death Eater. Hermione's parents were going to take some time to locate, but then again he knew the right person to contact.

William Tagher could locate a needle in a haystack, he was that good, and held no prejudice against muggles. If anyone was going to find them, it would be him. Severus dipped his quill in a pot of dark green ink and began to write.

'Miss Granger, I do hope you like surprises,' he muttered quietly to himself.


	14. Declaration

**_Five weeks later._ **

* * *

Hermione's laughter rang through the potions classroom.

'Oh, Severus, you should have seen it. It was _terrible._ I couldn't even imagine if I had been a student like that. We really deserved every form of punishment you assigned.'

Severus smirked and replied, 'I hope that once you have controlled yourself you will be able to tell me what happened.'

Hermione took a deep breath and started to tell Snape about an incident that happened during the first year class she was helping to teach.

'This little boy, Daniel I think his name was, well- he decided that he was going to improvise with the ingredient amounts written in his textbook. We had to completely evacuate the classroom before the potion exploded-,'

Severus interrupted, 'And please tell me you inquired as to why he thought himself able to improvise.'

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him, 'Well I was _getting_ to that before you interrupted.' Snape smirked, and let the witch continue. 'I believe my exact words were 'what in the bloody hell were you thinking, boy?!' but that's beside the point. He told me that back home he was an excellent cook and that 'everything is better when the recipes are adjusted'. Don't worry, he was set straight very quickly.' Hermione laughed again.

Snape looked up from his work and at the woman, 'Ah yes. Those students who believe they know everything. I would have no idea what that is like…' He gave a soft, yet quick, chuckle, which caused Hermione to narrow her eyes at him.

'You know, you're lucky that I _did_ know everything, or you wouldn't be here to poke fun at me for it!' She tried desperately to maintain a stern face, but lost control which resulted in the two of them laughing together.

The past five weeks had been quite a journey. Every night Hermione would finish dinner, work on her other homework for an hour, and then head to the dungeons to brew and learn about potions. There had definitely been some difficult nights, one in particular where her body modification potion modified his wardrobe _instead_ of his actual body and he had to scramble in order to hide his naked self from her. While she had pretended that she 'didn't see anything', she lied.

That was the night her relationship with him shifted.

Instead of the deep emotional attraction to him that she constantly felt tethered to, she started to acknowledge the presence of the physical attraction that had been buried beneath her emotions. Sure, they had stolen a few kisses and tender face strokes, but aside from that their physical relationship was nonexistent.

At first she wondered if it was because he didn't want more, but as the weeks progressed she decided otherwise. The way he moved about her, regarded her, instructed her, helped her- it all made sense to her emotionally because they had formed a mutual friendship with one another, so it just seemed natural that he would treat her accordingly. Then she remembered that this was Snape. His emotions were supposed to be primitive, if he had any at all, and yet he made an effort to treat her more than decently.

More than decently to Snape was comparable to a normal man treating a woman like a queen. His actions spoke volumes that he did want more than they had. She felt worthy, appreciated, and wanted when she was with him, and she made sure that her actions towards him made him feel the same.

Although he didn't go into specific detail, she knew of the hard childhood he had and the even harder adolescent and adult lives he led. He was used to feeling not appreciated and unwanted, and every time Hermione reminded herself of that she broke down. Not out of pity, but out of genuine sadness that a man such as him was subjected to the cruelty that constantly badgered him. She wasn't naïve to the fact that he wasn't a perfect angel either, but his actions were out of loyalty and love- not cruelty or hatred. She found herself wondering if things were ever going to progress between the two of them. She wanted it so badly, but at the same time she felt that it was too soon. It was only mid-November and while they saw each other every day for long periods of time, she didn't want to ruin anything by rushing.

She always kept her bird in the back of her mind, and contemplated about using it once or twice when she became frustrated, but never had the courage to wish for anything. She still couldn't believe that she was bonded to a dead bird, and that she had no idea what would break the bond. There were times she found herself wondering if anything happened to the person if the bond went too long without a wish or a fulfilled desire, but concluded that Snape would have alerted her to that fact. But, at this rate she would probably die still bonded to the creature!

 _Maybe I should make sure I'm really still bonded to the bird_ , Hermione thought to herself, _I wouldn't mind accidentally wishing for Snape to remove some more of his clothes again…_ Instantly, the vision of him those few weeks back came to the forefront of her mind, and she started to blush. He didn't miss that.

'Hermione, would you mind enlightening me as to why you feel the incessant need to blush during one of our conversations?' She looked up and found him standing right in front of her, something she missed during her rambling thoughts. 'Does my presence really affect your physical being that much?' He joked with a smirk, and awaited a sharp retort.

He was completely unprepared for her actual response.

* * *

'Yes, sir- er Severus.' She replied softly.

 _What?_ Severus thought to himself. His face, usually impeccable at hiding his true feelings, revealed the fact that he was not expecting her to answer so truthfully. _Severus, I do believe this night is about to take an entirely different route than planned._

'Explain.' He didn't bother with the niceties- he wanted a straightforward answer.

'I can't,' she whispered, 'at least not yet. But you do. You affect me so much more than you realize and it scares me, but it excites me at the same time.'

Severus stared at the girl, _could she possibly want more than what we have already? I suppose it's not impossible..._

'Hermione, do you remember the day that I allowed you to use my first name while we were together alone?' she nodded her head silently, 'Good. Now how did that make you feel?'

She looked down at her fidgeting hands, and then back up after a minute.

'Well, I guess I felt as if our relationship had finally reached the level of trust and understanding that I had worked hard to achieve. I felt as though it was a way of marking me your equal. It was very personal and special.' She struggled to find the right words to answer his question.

'Hermione, you have yet to be marked my equal, but I do agree that a level of trust has been built between the two of us that has been grounded in loyalty and mutual respect. I allowed you to do so because I wanted you to see me more _personally,_ to use your term, and not so much _professionally._ Be mindful that outside of these classes I am still your superior, but superiority has no role in a personal relationship that one would seek to have.'

Hermione glanced up curiously at those last words, and feeling her Gryffindor courage build she questioned the man, 'When you say 'one', do you mean you?'

_Bloody hell, she's good._

Severus wanted to shout 'of course that's what I mean you insufferable woman!' but refrained from making a spectacle, and merely nodded his head.

'I want that too,' she added, 'I want that more than you think. When I told you months ago that I was in this for a long time, I meant it. I just- er, I…'

Severus moved around the desk so he was standing next to her, 'Hermione,' he said softly, 'it would probably do us both some good if you just told me exactly what you are thinking.'

She sighed, 'I want a relationship with you. An emotional one, a spiritual one, and a-,' she stopped for another big breath, 'and a physical one.' She glanced up to search his features for any sign of rejection, but found none and took that as a sign to continue. 'I just didn't want to seem that things were being rushed or that you felt I would be taken advantage of, because that's not it at all. Severus, I want you.' He shuddered at the sound of his name and those words together.

Never in his life had he ever heard them uttered in that order, and he always assumed he never would. _She_ wanted him. She _wanted_ him. She wanted _him._ Replaying those words in his mind over and over finally made them seem real.

'Do you?' was all he could reply.

She nodded her head, 'I absolutely do. There's really no question about it. I've wanted you for much longer than I have led you to believe actually, but I never believed I could have you.'

He cocked his head, 'And why is that?'

She chuckled softly. 'Well firstly, you were a Death Eater and Harry's worst nightmare. Secondly, you were my professor who was much older than me. Thirdly, I didn't know if I was going to be able to save you,' she breathed, 'but when I did, I knew that I would have you.'

'You are an incredible person and witch, Hermione. You have so much to offer both worlds, and yet you choose to spend your time with someone like me-,' Severus began to start another one of his self-loathing rants, but was cut off by a now angry Hermione.

'Don't you dare start. Don't you _dare_ go on about how I'm wasting my time, or that you don't deserve anything. You deserve the world, Severus. How can you possibly cast aside everything good you have done for this world? For me? You want to talk about wasting time? Ronald Weasley. _That_ would be wasting my time, and I say that in the best way possible because he is my friend. He may be my age and my generation, but he has no idea how to know me, really truly understand me. You understand me. You know me. We're practically the same person for bloody sakes! Why would I want to spend my time doing anything other than being with someone who cares about me and shares a similar mindset? And I'm just going to guess that you care about me because I care about you.

So please, don't tell me that I deserve better or that you're not good for me. You're perfect for me. How can you not see that? You may be twenty-some odd number years older, but I've seen things- endured things that most people your age couldn't have even imagined. So, you can't use any of those excuses unless you really don't want me.' She stopped and stared him right in the eye.

'Hermione, of course I care about you. I care about you more than you think- more than I've told you, and certainly more than I should. Age is hardly an excuse, it's a reason. What do you think will happen if and when this goes public? People won't care that we're intellectually similar and they sure as hell won't care that we've both suffered emotional and physical trauma. They'll be stuck on the fact that I'm preying on a beautiful young witch because I can't find someone my own age to accept me or to care about me. And while I'm past caring about what people think about me, I care what they think about you. I wouldn't want to see this- to see us ruin your future. That would devastate me.' He gently placed both of his hands on either side of her face and stared right back into her eyes. 'But...Hermione, I want you too.'

With his returning declaration, she felt every single insecurity and worry melt away with the intensity of his glare. She also felt unable to contain her emotions for much longer, and matching his hands, placed hers on either side of his face before crushing her lips to his.

Severus felt unable to resist his attraction any longer, and enthusiastically returned her gesture with matched passion. His hands moved from her face to around her waist, allowing hers to reach behind his neck. Gently, his hands moved up and down her back as a reminder that she was safe, and she gradually opened her mouth to invite his tongue inside. That first taste was like tasting liquid sugar from the sweetest cane available: pure, soft, delicious- it was incredible and it was his.

She wanted him and he would do whatever it took to keep her. His possessive thoughts were interrupted when her hands moved from around his neck to his head, where Hermione started to gently play with his hair. If her kiss was like sugar, then her touch was honey. It was slow, purposeful, and made him feel as if he could melt under the power of her fingertips. _I can only imagine what pleasure this witch can bring elsewhere,_ he thought in the back of his mind, _what a true gem_. His brain, while extremely distracted, was able to comprehend that thought and he began to quell the fire that Hermione had sparked.

He wasn't a man who started something that he didn't plan on finishing, but he wasn't planning on ever ending with her. He was going to treat her like the rare stone she was, and part of that was savoring her- not rushing through everything. He slowly pulled back from her, admiring her pink and swollen lips, and gave her a quick peck.

'Hermione, you are very precious to me, remember that, and I am going to treat you as such. I, too, was afraid of rushing, but I also believe that an enjoyable pace is better than a pace that speeds through every aspect of a relationship. In time, I will fulfill every need you have and you will never have to question us. You are mine. And I do _not_ share.'

Hermione smiled brightly, 'You're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, Severus. I look forward to taking that time to find out more about who you are and to enjoy everything we do along the way.' She returned his peck, and then pointed a finger at him. 'I do not share as well, so don't get any ideas, mister.'

Severus grasped her finger and placed it to his lips, where he planted on it a soft kiss.

'I am a man who never searches for something when he already the best of its kind.'

He gently tugged on her arm and pulled her into a hug, an unusual gesture for him, which didn't go unnoticed by Hermione.

'Severus, I find it so odd that for someone who is not a hugger, you are the best I know.'

He gave a snort, 'You can be great at something you don't like, Hermione. Surely you've learned that by now.' After a few more moments, he broke the embrace and held her at an arm's length, 'I do believe you should return to your rooms now. We've heavily surpassed our allotted time and I don't want this affecting your other studies.'

Hermione nodded and turned to her work station where she began to pack up her bag and clear her ingredients. Once clean, she picked up her bag and turned to Severus, who had been clearing out her cauldron.

'Thank you, Severus. I'm really glad I was able to tell you this, and that you know everything now.' She walked closer to him and stood on her toes in order to place a last kiss on his cheek. She started towards the door, when she felt his hand on her arm stop her.

'Ten points from Gryffindor for an unsatisfactory goodnight kiss,' he teased before placing a more _suitable_ kiss on her willing lips.

Smiling beautifully, Hermione's _'goodnight'_ pierced the dungeon silence and she walked out of the classroom.

Severus remained in the same spot for a few moments, before he finally returned to his private chambers.

* * *

He was still a little shocked from the evening that had transpired, but felt more happiness than he had ever believed possible. Things were finally going his way. He was finally going to find peace and happiness, and someone to share it with.

Just as he was about to open the door to his bedroom, his floo activated.

'Please excuse the interruption, Severus, but I require a word with you at your earliest convenience tomorrow,' McGonagall's voice rang out.

'Of course,' Severus replied and watched the fire return to its normal state.

Severus' mind started to race. _What could she possibly want?_

Shaking his head, he proceeded into his room and settled into a much needed sleep.


	15. The Dream

_Hermione was lost. She was in a forest, dark and cold, all alone. She had no idea where she was and did not intend to stay in the place longer than she had to. All around her she kept hearing a wailing sound, almost as if someone was being tortured. She could tell the sound was coming from somewhere near to her, so she started jogging towards the crying noise. As it got louder, Hermione started to run. Faster and faster, she picked up the pace when finally the crying stopped._

_"Hermioneeeeeee." Something was calling her name. A raspy voice that she had never heard before. "Saveee me."_

_"Who are you?!" Hermione shrieked. "I can't help you if I don't know where you are? Show yourself! Please!"_

_All of a sudden, she could make out a soft green light in front of her. Slowly, she made her way towards it, never taking her eyes off the glow._

**"Hermione?! Wake up!"**

_"Hermioneee. I need you."_

_At the sight that appeared before her, Hermione dropped to her knees in disbelief._

_Her bird was there- dying- in front of her eyes. Only it wasn't the fact that it was her bird that scared her, it was how the bird was dying. Clear as day, two perfect bite marks on its neck were expunging blood rapidly._

_"I need you." The voice repeated, only this time Hermione recognized the voice. It was Snape's._

**"Hermione! You're just having a bad dream! Wake up!"**

_"Headmaster?" She whispered, placing a hand to the bird's neck._

_"Forgive me, Hermione. You're too late this time. The bond is broken. Let me go."_

_Without warning, the bird burst into green flames, causing Hermione to scream in pain._

"NOOOO! Headmaster!" Hermione wailed.

* * *

Hermione awoke at once to three sets of eyes staring worriedly back at her.

"Wha- what are you all doing here?"

Hermione was confused. It was Ginny who spoke.

"Hermione, you've been having screaming fits all night. I got so concerned that I had to get Professor McGonagall. Sna- er Professor Snape was with her at the time. I didn't ask him to come, I swear!" Ginny's explanation gone panic-rant was cut short by Snape.

"That's quite enough Miss Weasley. Thank you for your concern, but I do believe Professor and I are more than qualified to handle the situation now."

Ginny immediately took that as her signal to leave, but not before casting her friend an apologetic look.

It was Minerva who spoke first.

"Hermione, dear, whatever is wrong? Are you always this restless when you sleep? I'm sure Professor Snape could find something for you to ease the nightmares…" Minerva looked just about as lost as Hermione felt.

"I- er I'm sorry Professor. I've never had anything like this happen. Not since the few weeks after the War ended. I hope I haven't been too much of a bother to you today." Hermione was desperately trying to avoid talking about the dream whilst avoiding Snape's intense glare at the same time. He was too perceptive though.

"Miss Granger, please tell us what happened. Perhaps the dream can point us in the direction of an appropriate remedy." He wouldn't move his eyes from hers, and she felt obligated to return the gesture.

Taking a deep breath and putting on her best unreadable face, she turned to look at both of her professors, "I failed every exam this year."

Minerva's face promptly moved from one of concern to relief. She was clearly fooled. Snape, however, was not. He briskly raised one eyebrow at her, causing Hermione to look down.

"Well, Miss Granger, do not fear. I happened to chance across your records just this morning and your marks are impeccable. As always. Now, do not fret, and perhaps Professor Snape can find something for you regardless." Minerva walked to the door, ready to take her leave, when she turned back to the two left in the room.

"Headmaster, do remember what we discussed this morning." And with one of her renowned downwards glances, Minerva exited Hermione's bedchamber.

Hermione was left alone with Snape. Barely a minute from Minerva's exit passed before Snape started with the questions.

"Hermione," he whispered, "do not even try to tell me that lie. It may have fooled Professor McGonagall, but it certainly is not going to fool me. Tell me, please, what happened."

For a few moments, Hermione just sat in silence, disbelief pouring out of her at the current situation. Snape is in my room. With me. Alone.

"Hermione…" He prodded, which was more of a command than anything else.

"You were dying. Well, no, the bird was dying, but it was you. The bond was broken and- and you told me to let you go."

Snape looked at her with wide eyes. She continued.

"Headmaster, what is going to happen with the bird? What if it never fulfills my deepest desire? I-," her hands flew to her face as she began to sob.

Without missing a beat, Snape placed his arms around the crying girl in a comforting manner that only she would know of.

"Hush dear, it's over and I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

With a broken look, Hermione lifted her head and spoke, "I can't lose you. I just can't. What's going to happen?"

It was her pleading look that did him in. Snape held her firmly with both arms and looked deep into her eyes.

"Hermione, I am an honorable man. I do not give things up easily, nor do I intend to break promises that mean something to me. You are not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. As for the future, well, that is up to you. It is something that we, unfortunately, are going to have to discuss rather soon. You have a lot of choices ahead of you." Snape gently moved one of his hands from her shoulder to her face, where he brushed away the lingering tears.

Hermione perked up. "What choices? About what? Us?"

Snape chuckled lightly and shook his head, watching disappointment flood her face.

"The other aspects of your life, Hermione. I'm not the only thing you have- and do not argue with me because it's true. You have an education and a career to think about. Things that have nothing to do with poor old me." Hermione started shaking her head furiously.

"That's not true. You are everything to me. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go all Juliet on you, but you mean a great deal." The Muggle literary reference was lost on Snape, but that didn't stop him from offering a response.

"Think what you must, but a conversation is in order. Professor McGonagall wants to speak with you, and sooner is probably better than later." Snape finished, rising from the bed where he had been seated. "And Hermione, do not fear. You will get every desire you have ever wanted. I promise." With that, he bowed slowly and left her room.


	16. The Offers

Severus sat at his desk staring blankly at his empty office. He could not stay focused.

The recent conversation with Minerva about Hermione replayed in his mind without an end in sight. It seemed the Ministry had already been contacting Minerva with prospective jobs for the brilliant witch to accept. Four different departments were offering her placements, and she had not even finished school yet. Who would blame them? She could probably run the Ministry and still receive O's on all of her exams. She was brilliant and everyone wanted her. Including Severus.

_Oh, Severus, do not let your jealousy get the best of you._

If there was one thing Severus could not do well, it was share. He supposed it was due to his having very little as a child, so he coveted anything that was "rightfully" his. He knew it was a bad habit, and he also knew it was not going anywhere anytime soon. There was absolutely no doubt that he wanted Hermione to choose the best career path _and_ have it be something that she loved to do, but it was unlikely that she would choose something _settling._ She was young. She still had a lot of life to live and a lot of places to see. She would want to see the world and travel, and those were things a relationship hindered. He refused to be that hindrance.

He thought it best that she discussed her future without his presence. He knew what effect he had on her and decision-making, and wanted to know that she was deciding for herself- not for him.

 _This is ridiculous_ , he thought, _we're not even in a legitimate relationship and here I am thinking about a real future with her._ He had to admit- it was hard to picture her figuring out a future while knowing he was barely in her present.

He needed her to know where he stood when it came to their relationship, but he was not going to do so until he heard her plans. His reasoning for that was the fact that he cared deeply for her well being. If she knew the truth about his feelings she would undoubtedly choose a path that was best for them and not her. He wanted her to choose the latter, and then he would easily find out the truth from Minerva.

He desperately wanted her to choose something that would keep them together, but he really had no idea what was going through her mind. It was Hermione. While steadfast on her paths, decision-making was not her strongest suit. Severus had seen that numerous times during their private lessons together. She was not indecisive, but she took her time contemplating important issues and would go back and forth between ideas.

 _Stop thinking, Severus. Nothing has been decided yet. You need to wait._ He glanced at the clock again. Any minute Hermione would be heading to Minerva's office for their conversation, and he would have to wait until later to sneakily drag the outcome out of Minerva.

He didn't even mind that the Ministry contacted her instead of _him-_ the actual Headmaster. In fact, he would rather leave the student "issues" up to the kindhearted and patient professor and stick with the structural matters. Besides, everyone knew how fond Minerva was of her star pupil.

* * *

Hermione was nervous. Just a few hours ago she received note that the Professor McGonagall wanted to speak to her privately about "matters of utmost importance". The first thing that had popped into her mind was Snape. Could she have found out? What would happen? Would he be fired? Would she be expelled?!

 _Stop it, Hermione_ , she mentally chided herself. There was no way that McGonagall would ever have a clue of their _almost_ relationship.

Technically it could not really even be considered a relationship.

If they were both teenagers, she would consider this the awkward want-to-be-more-than-friends-but-not-sure-how-to-get-the-ball-rolling stage. It was almost painful at times how much she wanted more, but she had no idea how to even start that conversation. He was quiet and certainly inexperienced when it came to personal relationships, and she was his student. That was pretty much the most complicated scenario one could ever imagine.

You had the man who was afraid to be hurt, and the woman who did not want to cross any imaginary and unspoken boundaries. It was moments like these that she wished he would just perform Legilimency on her.

Hermione sighed at these unspoken thoughts and started her walk towards Professor's office. McGonagall did not use the words "urgent" or "immediately" in her note, so Hermione had to assume that the conversation would be relatively nonchalant.

She knocked lightly on her classroom door and entered, where she found McGonagall waiting patiently behind her desk. At the sight of Hermione, she stood and smiled warmly.

"Hermione, my dear, how good to see you! Please have a seat." McGonagall motioned to a comfortable chair in front of her desk. No sooner than her behind hit the cushion, McGonagall started talking.

"Now I'm sure you are quite confused as to why I have asked you to come here this morning, and I would like to quickly quell any fears that you are in some sort of trouble," visible relief spread throughout Hermione's tiny frame, "in fact, it's quite the opposite."

Hermione's interest in the conversation peaked at those words.

"The Ministry of Magic has contacted me numerous times about career options for you. Three departments have expressed interest in your commitment, and Minister himself has approved the offers."

Hermione's face was blank. How could she possibly have opportunities already? She hadn't even finished school!

"Professor," she asked, "is this because I'm a War Heroine? Honestly, I don't want to be known as the girl who got a Ministry position because of her name and affiliations."

McGonagall chuckled lightly, "Hermione, you are the brightest witch that this school has seen in decades, and you think the Ministry is asking after you because of Harry Potter? Don't be silly, girl. You are brilliantly talented, and it is no crime that many people of importance have recognized that." She paused briefly before beginning again.

"However, you are still young and know how impressionable Ministry workers are when it comes to job recruitment. What do you want to do after Hogwarts?"

This question surprised Hermione. She contemplated it a few times in the 7 years of her schooling, but certainly not recently. She genuinely had no idea.

"Professor, I- I really have no idea. I love researching and discovering new ideas and formulas. I love Potions and Arithmancy and Charms, but I can't decide on one. I suppose I always thought that I'd finish an apprenticeship first before I chose an occupation."

"Well you have seemed to take a liking to Potions, and it is obvious that you have a high skill level in that area, but you would be passing up Ministry positions. The Ministry does not care for indecisive people and it is unlikely that they would reoffer. You must make sure you are taking everything into consideration before finalizing your decision."

Hermione sat quietly for a few moments.

_I would have to leave Snape. I would never see him, and even if I did I'm sure that the media would catch on. There's no way the Ministry would ever approve. But I can't make this decision based on something that may or may not even be there._

Hermione was certain that she could never give up Snape. Ever. So that meant one thing- she had to choose what her heart wanted over what her mind needed.

Her mind craved knowledge and challenges, but Snape was just as challenging and knew more than the entire Ministry put together. Her decision had more to do with _him_ , however, and less to do with his mind. She could not possibly think of being without him for even one potion lesson, let alone weeks or months. She knew her decision even before McGonagall had informed her of the offers.

Slowly, Hermione lifted her head and looked directly at her Professor.

"Professor, I'm not sure if you had some idea of what I would choose before I even walked in this door, but I assure you that I believe it is the best for me. I am graciously declining all the offers."

McGonagall, clearly shocked, gasped audibly.

"I would like to continue my apprenticeship with Headmaster Snape with the hopes of becoming a Potions Mistress."

"Hermione- child, are you sure?! These are huge opportunities that you are giving up. Are you sure he is what you want?"

That little slip caused McGonagall to quickly place her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. She cleared her throat and continued, "this- I mean that _this_ is what you want?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes slightly. _She knows something, doesn't she?_ Seeming unaffected by the outburst, Hermione replied.

"I am quite sure. I have found the subject I am most passionate about and admire Headmaster Snape greatly. It would be an honor to live up to his reputation some day."

McGonagall sighed, and smiled slightly.

"Of course my dear. Living up to the greatness of a man such as Severus is nothing to laugh at. He is a good wizard, and an even better man." With those words, Hermione looked into McGonagall's eyes and saw a twinkle that could have rivaled that of Dumbledore himself, "I will inform the Ministry of your decision. I'm sure you have made the right one."

Hermione took that as her dismissal.

"Thank you, Professor. I believe I have as well."

With a small smile, Hermione gathered herself and left the classroom. She paid no mind to the opportunities she was just offered, but focused on the hints that McGonagall clearly dropped throughout the conversation.

_I really hope Snape hasn't said anything! He should have at least asked me first- what if more people find out? He has some serious explaining to do._

Thoughts racing through her head, Hermione strode purposefully to the Headmaster's office.


	17. The Truth

_How could he possibly divulge such personal information without even consulting me?!_

Hermione was livid. She didn't want to think that someone as private as Snape would willingly let slip those secrets, but as headmaster maybe he had a duty to protect the students in that way?

She was so confused. For once, she thought they were on a great page and ready to move forward, but now she was not so sure.

She knew he would be in the dungeons working on something to assign her this week, and wasn't surprised to find the potions classroom door wide open. Without saying a word she quietly slipped inside, closed and warded the door, and cast a quick _muffliato._

Snape didn't have to look up to know that her presence was near.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Hermione?"

"How _dare_ you!" Hermione spat.

Snape's head shot up instantly at her unusual tone.

"She knows everything! How could you tell her without even consulting me?!" Hermione was directly in front of Snape now. His onyx eyes showed nothing but hurt and confusion.

"Miss Granger, I assure you that whatever it is you think I did, you are incorrect. I also will not tolerate this tone. Now, what on earth are you so upset about?"

Snape calmly sat down in the chair behind the teacher's desk and waited for her to speak.

"I had a meeting with Professor McGonagall and she _knows."_ Hermione's voice squeaked a little at the end.

Snape's eyebrows rose a bit, "Knows what?"

Hermione's face went red with frustration before she embarked on her tirade.

"About us! The ministry contacted her with potential jobs for me after graduation and so she wanted to discuss my future today. At every single moment she could possibly find, she made some remark about us! Then, when I gave her my decision it was practically an oral confession! How could you possibly tell her anything when _I_ don't even know what to tell myself about us!"

Hermione calmed herself by taking a few deep breaths and waited for Snape to retort. His response was not quite what she expected.

"What was your decision?"

Hermione's train of thought was obviously sidetracked by this question. Her mouth bobbed open like a fish, "Wha-what?"

Snape leaned forward over the desk and stared into her eyes, consuming every ounce of pride she entered with.

"What. Was. Your. Decision."

Hermione couldn't believe that _that_ was all Snape cared about, when their entire relationship was on the line. She looked back at him defiantly with hurt in her eyes,

"Everything that we have sacrificed to try to be together is at stake, and all you care about is the damned Ministry?"

Hermione was close to tears now. _How could he be so insensitive- so selfish?_

By this point, Snape had lost all patience with the girl and threw himself out of the chair, moving around the desk until he was standing nose to nose with Hermione.

In a heated whisper, Snape spoke.

"You silly girl. Why do you think I care so much about your decision? Every single one of those opportunities would take you away from me. I purposely did not attend that meeting because I do not want you to throw away a future for me. Your intelligence should be available for the world to see, not hidden away in a dungeon. You belong in a challenging position where you can expand your knowledge.

I would do anything to give those things to you, but unfortunately I cannot. You must take advantage of every opportunity you can. You are young. You should travel the world and research, learn new ideas and take chances. I would do nothing but hinder that. I told McGonagall nothing. I believe her intuition has yet again surpassed her attempts at subtlety. I would never misplace your trust in that manner. I would never do anything to hurt you. I do hope you understand that."

Hermione stared deep into his eyes. He was telling the truth. He really only wanted what was best for her, and she was the selfish one. She slowly took his hands in hers.

"I declined them all," Snape's audible gasp shocked her.

_Did he honestly think I'd leave him after everything we've been through?_

"You did what…?" Snape could not contain his surprise at her confession.

"I told Professor McGonagall that I wanted to finish my apprenticeship with you. I'd like to become a Potions Mistress," Hermione looked into Snape's eyes softly, "and I would like to do so under your tutelage."

For a moment, Snape stood in front of her unable to speak or breathe, so Hermione continued.

"How could you possibly think that I would choose a career over you? After everything that we've been through- the War, the bird, the attack- I was stupid enough to keep this hidden for so long already, why would I throw it away?

 _You_ challenge me every day. You show me new things and teach me foreign ideas. It is because of you that I am the student I have grown into. I love potions because of the passion and sincerity you hold for the subject. I love it because it reminds me of you. Every chop, slice, stir- everything. Each minute, every concoction pushes me closer to knowing you and understanding who you are.

I'd be foolish to give all of that up for a fluffy title that screams 'War Heroine'. I don't want any of that- I only want you. I may have no idea where we stand, but I know that I don't want to stand with anyone else."

* * *

Severus could hardly believe his ears. She chose him on her own.

He moved his hands from hers and placed them on either side of her face.

"You chose _me?_ You gave up title and power for _me?"_ His eyes searched her features for some sign of betrayal.

Hermione smiled softly, "I think we both know that I never wanted either of those things- they just came along with being Harry's best friend."

"Hermione- I don't know what to say. I wanted you to choose me, but I haven't given you a lot of hope in us. You trust me enough to put all your faith in us?"

Hermione mimicked his hands, placing hers on either side of his face.

"I don't just trust you- I adore you. I have faith that you want what I want just as much, and that you will be there with me every step of the way. We knew a relationship wouldn't be easy, but that doesn't mean I'd give it up. I already told you, I am in this for the long haul. Or at least until I get that damned bird off my case," she teased.

Severus smiled softly at her words. _She really does have genuine feelings for me._

Slowly, he brought his lips down to meet hers. If he wasn't able to fully express how he felt in words, then he would have to show her with his actions.

He needed to find a way to give back to her more than she had already given to him, and with the holiday season approaching in a few weeks time, he knew exactly what he had to do.

Severus was brought out of his reverie with a chuckle, "Severus? Are you okay? You seem more intent on thinking than snogging," Hermione teased.

Severus smiled, "Would you forgive me if I told you I was only thinking of you?"

Hermione blushed. "Yes- er- well I suppose that would be more than alright with me."

"Hermione," Severus started, "I want to thank you for everything that you have done- from saving my life twice already, to choosing to stay with me. I know you did everything on your own accord, but I will remain forever grateful for your courage and dedication. I have not been the most outright when it comes to our relationship with one another, but I promise you that will change. I am a man who stays good to his promises. I will never let you down and you will no longer have to wonder about anything."

"Severus, it doesn't matter to me how long I have to wait, just that you know I will wait. It's worth it- you're worth it. And honestly, I do love potions. I think I'll find more happiness in that career than in any Ministry position. I just never want you to think you have to hide from me. I won't judge you and when it comes to feelings, chances are I share yours."

Severus pulled the girl tightly to him.

"Hermione you are a wonder, and bird or not I will make sure your wishes are granted. You deserve nothing less."

"Speaking of wishes, I do believe I've been wasting precious opportunities to get what I want!" Hermione smiled mischievously at Severus.

"Oh? Well then, I suggest you start taking advantage of your bird, no?"

Looking into those onyx pearls she loved so much, Hermione whispered, "I wish you'd kiss me," and instantly Severus' lips were on hers.


	18. The Perfect Presents

"Hermione, are you even listening to a word I'm saying?" The she-Weasley said.

Instantly, Hermione was brought out of her momentary daze, "Oh, Ginny I'm so sorry. Lack of sleep. Just worried about examinations. You were talking about Christmas…?" She gave Ginny a small smile.

Ginny glared suspiciously at Hermione, but continued her conversation, "I asked you what you planned on doing for the holiday! I want to take a trip into Hogsmeade before we leave for the break. You are coming home with us, right?"

Hermione blushed, "I can't Ginny. I'm working on a new potion with Snape, and as part of my apprenticeship, I have to stay here or I won't have enough hours to show the Ministry."

Ginny frowned, "Hermione, mum was really looking forward to seeing you. Perhaps you can sneak out for a day or two?"

Hermione shrugged, "I would like to say 'yes', but I really have no idea at this time. I would, however, love to accompany you to Hogsmeade. I do have a few things to pick up."

Ginny smiled. "Perfect. Tomorrow? I'm sure if you ask nicely McGonagall will let us use her floo."

Hermione was about to interject that Snape would gladly let them use his, but bit her tongue and nodded at her friend in agreement.

Ginny moved herself off the bed and walked to the exit. "I'll meet you in front of the Great Hall at ten tomorrow morning, okay?"

"Sounds perfect!" Hermione smiled and watched her friend leave.

Hermione turned to look out her window. She had been thinking about Christmas and the holiday quite a bit over the past week. She remembered the events of the past week: arrangements had been made, spells cast, and- much to her chagrin- elves put to work furnishing a special wing off the potions lab. Headmaster Snape _insisted_ that Hermione have her own wing for experimentation and privacy during the holiday. Professor McGonagall, always wanting the best for _her_ Hermione, merely smiled in approval.

It was a perfect escape for Hermione. She no longer had to reside in the main dormitory because of the rights granted to her as a "Potions Mistress in Training." She laughed at the title mostly because it had nothing to do with her private room. Snape decided living with other students was starting to become something of a "nuisance" and would definitely be problematic in the near future.

It was a lavish place she was only allowed to mention to Harry, Ron, and Ginny. The boys couldn't have cared less, but Ginny found it a perfect place for their many late night chats and review sessions.

It _was_ perfect. It was everything Hermione could have wished for and more. She frowned. There was one more thing she wished she had- _the perfect gift for Snape_. The thought rang through her mind. It was necessary she find and gift him the most exquisite and thoughtful gift he had ever received, but she was completely lost.

 _Perhaps tomorrow will give me some ideas_ , she thought.

* * *

Severus sat in his chair quietly, both pointer fingers massaging the large bridge of his nose.

 _It must be perfect._ _She deserves absolutely nothing less_. Severus was having a hard time deciding on a present for Hermione. With Christmas just a week away, his time was running out and he still had no ideas.

"May I make a suggestion, my boy?" Severus sighed at the sound of Albus' voice.

"Do I have a choice, old man?" He retorted.

Ignoring the reply, Albus smiled warmly and spoke, "You must find something suitable for a woman that is representative of yourself."

"Oh?" Severus drawled.

"What are some of the most prized tokens sought by women, Severus?"

Severus was genuinely stumped. He had never picked out a present for a woman before, much less a woman he was in a relationship with.

As if reading his mind, Albus continued.

"Jewelry, Severus. It's thoughtful, and can be kept forever."

"I fail to see my representation in the matter," Severus retorted.

Albus chuckled lightly, "Your color, Severus. Your most prized characteristic. It is who you _are."_

The light in Severus' eyes began to glow. He knew _exactly_ what he was to gift Hermione. It was jewelry, but not only representative of him- it was of her as well. It was also extremely rare.

 _It is as rare as you are, my dear_ , Snape mused.


	19. Thomas and the Ring

Severus wrapped his green scarf tightly around his neck. It had been an unusually bitter winter this year and the last thing he needed to do was catch ill. The sun was barely climbing its way into the sky as he walked quickly down a lightly snow-dusted street. After last night's chat with Albus, he had thought of the most perfect present for Hermione and needed to acquire it as soon as he could.

Before the War, the Dark Lord maintained a relationship with a jeweler from Ireland, Thomas. As long as Thomas provided the Dark Lord with the necessary baubles and stones to keep the women at bay, he remained untouched. Thomas resided in a small cottage near the water and away from most people, which (fortunately for him) kept him alive once the War started.

Severus liked Thomas. He was a built man in his thirties with hair of fire, and an impeccable eye for his craft. He could take any stone, any precious metal, any idea- and design a beautiful piece. And _that_ was exactly what Severus needed: a beautiful piece. The stone he wanted was extremely rare, but if there was anyone who could find it- it was Thomas.

Severus reached the cottage and knocked at the solid oak door. Within seconds it was pulled open by the red-head.

"Ah, Severus. It's nice to see you under more favorable circumstances. Please, come in." Thomas opened the door wider and gestured for Severus to enter.

Severus stepped through the threshold and into the cottage, which was certainly bigger on the inside. Pictures of every gem and their characteristics lined the walls, leaving only enough space for a window here and there. Gold and silver chains hung from the ceiling, and diamonds had their place neatly in a corner.

Thomas motioned to a table in the middle of the room. Severus sat down at one of the chairs, and Thomas joined him.

"Now, I can only hope you are here for something spectacular, Severus. I must admit I am quite intrigued." Thomas pulled a notepad and a pencil from a draw in the table.

Severus began to pull at his scarf, "Yes, I am here for something unusual, but I must insist on the same precision and intricacy that I was once used to." His voice trailed at the end, and with a slight raise of his eyebrow, Thomas knew at once he meant the Dark Lord.

"Of course Severus. Just because the Dark Lord was the Dark Lord, doesn't mean he was the only person I served well. I take much pride in my pieces and I assure, you will be most pleased," he pulled the notebook closely to him, "Now, what were you thinking?"

Severus began, "I most certainly want a ring. Platinum setting, size six, emerald cut for the stone, and two diamond baguettes on either side."

Thomas closed his eyes softly, and Severus watched as his pencil began to sketch feverishly on its own. After some minutes, the pencil dropped and Thomas opened his eyes. On the paper before him was the most intricate and delicate ring Severus had ever seen. It was beautiful. It was Hermione.

Severus glanced up at Thomas suspiciously, who smiled shyly.

"Severus, you can't think for a second that you could come in here asking for a special ring and not let me assume it's for a woman."

"You are correct," Severus responded shortly.

Thomas chuckled, "Well, you are missing one key item here: the center stone."

Severus scratched his head. "That is where things get complicated. I am sure you know of the stone, and I am also certain you are aware of its rarity."

"Well there are a number of stones that are rare, but most aren't actually impossible to acquire."

"Very good. I want the center stone to be a fire emerald." Severus smirked as Thomas' eyes grew wide.

"A fire emerald? Severus do you have any idea the cost of such a stone?" A quick flick of Thomas' hand sent a book flying to the desk.

Opening the book, he put his finger on the stone, "A two carat stone is at _least_ 160.000£ and the size you want has to be almost five –,"

"Cost is of no importance," interrupted Severus, "In fact, it's of such little importance that if you could only find a ten carat stone, I would easily oblige."

The look on Thomas' face was one of complete shock and awe.

"Of course, Severus, I will do my best." He hesitated, then continued, "I know you to be a man of privacy, but I must ask a few questions to get a better feel for the design of the ring."

Severus narrowed his eyes, but nodded slowly.

"Hair color?" Thomas started.

"Brown."

"Stature?"

"Petite, thin, but strong frame."

"Finger length and width?"

Severus paused, "I would say average length for a female of 5'3", and not particularly wide."

The next question caught him off guard.

"Do you love her?"

Startled, Severus began to stammer. "I don't- that question is extremely personal, Thomas."

"Aye, Severus, but love changes things even as simple as a piece of jewelry."

"I care very deeply for her." Severus' eyes held their dark glare at Thomas.

Thomas smiled, "I think I've got my answer." He began to stand from his chair, and Severus soon followed.

"Thank you, Thomas."

"Of course. I'm guessing you need this for the holiday, correct?" Thomas replied.

"Unfortunately, yes. It wasn't until just last night that I had this idea. I hope it will be done in time." Severus began to put his scarf on.

"As soon as you leave, I will contact my best gemologist. I will get to work on the band, so really all I will need is the stone. I am almost certain it will be done in time, but I will make sure to keep you informed." Thomas held his hand out for Severus to take.

Nodding slightly, Severus shook his hand, "Perfect. I anxiously await your correspondence. Have a good day."

No sooner than Severus was outside the cottage, a wide smile spread across his face.

He had the _perfect_ present.

Albus had been right (for once), in that he needed something to remind her of him on a daily basis. A fire emerald was exactly what he needed. It was one of the rarest stones because it formed only inside volcanic rock, hence the _fire_ part of the name, but it was still a vivid green emerald. The reason why they were so expensive was because the edge of the stone would turn red whenever the wearer felt love. Severus realized he was taking a bit of a chance with this present, but he noticed Hermione always went without jewelry so he felt it safe to imply that she wouldn't know any better. They were beautiful stones when changing, almost as if an emerald was set inside a ruby. Severus was very excited to see the ring, and even more intrigued to see Thomas' work.

Hermione deserved nothing but the best- and at any cost.

What most people didn't know was just how much money Severus had after the War. The Dark Lord was _generous_ to his favourite few and since Severus never had anything to spend the money on, it sat in a private vault for years. He never trusted Gringotts, and it was a good thing too because most of the money would have been confiscated. Other followers had their vaults stripped and emptied of the "blood money", but Severus knew the money was far from that. The Dark Lord had more powerful followers than the Ministry knew, and most of the money the Dark Lord received came from other leaders. He never stole from those who were barely getting by, but rather he aimed for the money that came from powerful and wealthy leaders and politicians. And many of those men were just as corrupt and evil as the Dark Lord himself.

Money was useless to Severus. Those with it were unhappy, and those without it were unhappy. It caused nothing but a cycle of perpetual greed. He knew Hermione felt the same, which was why he also knew she would never think to spend any great amount of money on herself no matter how much she thought it deserved. Severus decided to make it his goal to provide her with everything she could ever want...

_Like her parents._

He frowned as he thought about how slowly the identification process was going. It was taking longer than usual for William to locate her parents, and it made Severus uneasy. He knew she wanted her parents back in her life, but she truly believed their absence was punishment for her selfishness. It was a crazy thought, but it was a _Hermione_ thought.

Severus pulled his overcoat tighter to his body.

_You must find them, Severus._


	20. The Shopping Trip

Ginny was already waiting outside the Great Hall when Hermione approached her.

"There you are! I was starting to worry you got lost in that big villa of yours," Ginny teased.

"Ha ha- very funny, Ginny. You know how McGonagall can be sometimes." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure she was trying to plan your future in the five minutes you allotted yourself to ask for floo permission." Ginny looked at the scowl on Hermione's face and laughed.

Hermione continued, "We just have to be back before nine this evening, which is particularly generous."

Ginny placed a hand on Hermione's arm, "There's nothing to worry about anymore, Hermione. They don't have to be as cautious."

"I guess I forgot about that, Ginny. Well, we don't have to be out that long!"

"Are you kidding?! We're going to make good use of this freedom, Hermione, now let's go."

Ginny grabbed her friend's hand and pulled her up the main stairs in the direction of Professor McGonagall's office.

They barely reached the office door when Hermione heard his voice.

"Going somewhere?" Snape questioned, removing his scarf.

Ginny's eyes grew wide as she tried to speak, "We were granted permission, sir! By Professor McGonagall!"

"Miss Weasley, do you think they would have asked me to take the position of Headmaster if I was unable to make such base assumptions?"

Ginny closed her mouth, but Hermione chuckled.

"Sir, Professor gave me explicit permission that Ginny and I could use her floo to go to Hogsmeade today." Hermione stared at the snow Snape was brushing off his shoulders.

"I see," he drawled, "Well I was heading to my office, you are welcome to use my floo."

Hermione didn't see the look of dread in Ginny's eyes, she merely followed behind Snape.

Once they reached his office, Snape took off his overcoat, which flew to a nearby coat rack.

"How cold is it, sir?" Hermione mused.

"It is quite bitter, Miss Granger. Do take care. I should hate to see you ill. You as well Miss Weasley." Snape walked to the two girls with his canister of floo powder.

Hermione took a handful happily, with Ginny watched her tentatively. The two girls stepped into the fireplace.

"Thank you, sir." Hermione said before flashing a bright smile and throwing the powder.

* * *

Hogsmeade looked as if it never endured a war. Stores were busy, people bustled about with packages, and street vendors continued to shout their goods. At the same time, it felt different. Probably because no one had to worry about a Death Eater showing up, or random scenes of terror. It was busy, yet peaceful. It was everything she remembered before she knew anything about the Dark Lord.

Ginny interrupted her thoughts, "I need to shop for everything, Hermione. We have a long day ahead of us. What do you need?"

Hermione took a minute to think. "Well I suppose I am in the same position. I wonder if there are any new shops." Hermione squinted at the signs posted above the shops.

Ginny pointed at one. "That one looks new."

The sign read: _The Potions Palace._

Hermione instantly thought of Severus.

"Ginny, I want to check out that new potions store!" Hesitantly, she added, "But I don't want to keep you from shopping, as I know you have many more people to look for. Let's meet at The Three Broomsticks at noon."

She was relieved once Ginny agreed and watched her walk quickly to a new frilly underwear shop that opened.

Hermione stepped into the shop and was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of vials and cauldrons that lined the shelves. _This was a great find. I wonder if Severus has been here yet._ The only problem was finding something that he didn't already have.

She was looking at a cauldron made of quartz, when an older man approached her.

"That cauldron is wonderful for healers. Lets them see the color of their potion from across the room while they attend patients. Eliminates the need to keep walking back and forth to it." The man stopped. "Are you a healer, young lady?"

Hermione giggled, "No sir, I'm afraid not. I'm merely looking for the perfect Christmas present for a Potions Master who has everything."

The old man raised his eyebrows. "A Potions Master? What nice company you keep, my dear! I must know some more information. How long has he been a Master?"

Hermione froze, "Well, a long time. I'd say at least twenty-five years already."

"Oh my! I would say he is a Master! My name is John, by the way. Now come, follow me."

John excitedly led Hermione down an aisle to a large china cabinet at the back of the shop. Instantly, she could sense it was heavily warded. She watched as his magic incantation released the wards. He opened the cabinet carefully and brought out a black velvet box.

"I must be honest, I am showing you this only because there is nothing else in this store that a Master of twenty-five years wouldn't have already. This is purely for present sakes."

John opened the box, and Hermione gasped.

Inside was the most stunning medallion Hermione had ever seen.

Hung from a dark green braided leather necklace was the symbol of the Valkyrie.

"Go on, pick it up!" John encouraged her. "The pendant is platinum. The pendant is from the ancient myth of the Valkyrie, which symbolizes protection. It's a stunning piece. All the way from Ireland! I suppose if you need an explanation for it, just tell the man it's to protect from possible potion mishaps," the man paused, then continued, "but then again I don't think he'd be a Master if he made too many mistakes."

Hermione stopped him, "What's this stone?" She gently placed her fingers over the green stone.

John scratched his head, "Well, that there is what makes the piece so expensive. It's a fire emerald. One of the rarest stones because it only forms at the base of a volcano."

Hermione knew that Snape wore one piece of jewelry, a black ring on his right hand. She never would have thought to pick out something like this, but she had this feeling it was the perfect gift. He could wear it under his high collar and wouldn't have to worry about answering questions.

"I'll take it, John." Hermione stated.

John looked surprised. "Miss, I hate to be rude, but it is quite expensive."

Hermione only smiled. "That is of no concern to me."

"Well, okay then. Oh- I really am rude! I never asked for your name."

Hermione winced. Her name. The name everyone recognized and ogled over. She could easily lie, but she liked John.

"It's Hermione Granger, John."

John smiled and held his hand out for Hermione to take. He took the necklace from her hands and put it neatly back into the box.

He walked through a door next to the cabinet and shouted, "Green, gold, or black?"

Hermione only assumed he was referring to gift wrapping and replied, "Hmmm black with a green ribbon, if you please!"

Several moments later John returned with a beautifully wrapped package.

"I do hope he enjoys this, whoever he is." John handed Hermione the gift.

Hermione took the package and reached into her bag for her pocket book. Swiftly, it returned back into her bag with a wave of John's hand.

"Miss Granger, I am sure that you have endured more attention than you could possibly handle in a lifetime, let alone in a few months. This is not charity. This is not a favor. This is a 'thank you' for your service. Most men wouldn't have done what you did, and the results of your service hold a dear place in my heart. I am not too proud to acknowledge when gratitude is due, and this is a situation where I believe it is."

Hermione smiled softly. "Did you have a child at Hogwarts, John?"

John shook his head slowly. "No, Miss Granger. Only a brother who was lucky enough to escape death at the hands of the Dark Lord. But only because of you."

"You're welcome, John. But you cannot think I could accept a gift as dear as this-," Hermione started.

"You can, and you will." John gave her a stern look. "Now, I do hope you will come back and visit in the near future, Miss Granger."

"Of course! I intend to, John. Thank you again." Hermione smiled and held the package tightly against her as she walked out of the shop.

"Who was that, John?" A woman's voice called from the back room.

"A nice young woman came for the pendant." John replied.

"Oh?" the woman's voice sounded surprised, "and who could possibly afford one of Thomas' pieces?'

"The girl who saved him."


	21. Perfect Presents and Second Thoughts

"Hi!" Ginny walked to Hermione. "You spent the whole time in that potions store? I hope you found something good!"

Hermione nodded carefully, and silently wished that Ginny refrained from asking any more questions.

"Are you ready to eat?" the red head continued, "I'm starving."

"Yes, I am!" Hermione answered. "You have to tell me about everything you found!"

The girls walked towards The Three Broomsticks and went inside. The warmth from the fires immediately hit the two as they strolled towards a booth near one of the hearths. Ginny began to remove her coat and scarf.

"It feels so nice in here. It's cold out there." Ginny flagged a waitress and ordered butterbeers.

"Well," Hermione inquired, "what did you find?"

Ginny talked about the various purchases she found, and the waitress took their orders. As they talked and ate, Hermione grew more and more concerned that she chose the wrong present. Snape didn't wear necklaces, so why would he start now?

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , Hermione thought to herself. It wasn't even about the money she could have spent on the pendant, she just wanted it to be perfect. She wanted something that he could have and always think of her. She loved how the pendant symbolized 'protection' (something he clearly needed when she wasn't around!). She loved the leather for the necklace. Most of all, she loved the beautiful emerald.

 _You're overthinking this, Hermione_. It was true she was spending way too much time worrying about something that she knew he would love regardless. She could have picked out the ugliest sweater with a matching knit hat and he still would have worn both.

Ginny noticed Hermione's wandering thoughts. "Are you okay, Hermione?" she asked.

"Yes, just have a lot on my mind with the apprenticeship and all. Academics, the usual." Hermione lied.

Ginny squinted, "If you say so. You look so distracted. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Hermione lightly grabbed Ginny's hand. "Yes, of course I know that. Thank you, Ginny."

Without missing a beat, Ginny continued. "I just can't understand how you can be around that insufferable man for so long. He must affect your whole outlook each day. Just looking at his cloak makes me feel dull."

Hermione took a conscious breath before responding. She didn't want to seem too defensive.

"Actually, quite the contrary, Ginny. Honestly!" she responded to Ginny's dubious stare, "It's not the typical classroom setting, so I think that relaxes him. Plus he knows I'm not some first year dunderhead. It's nice to spend time with him. I know you'd never believe me, but he's not the same Snape from Potions." Hermione finished and looked down.

"Well, I don't think I'll be inviting him over for tea anytime soon, but I'm not surprised _the_ Hermione Granger has been able to break through the shell of the toughest and scariest professor." Ginny paused to take a sip of her drink, "Plus, a Death Eater at that!"

Hermione hissed, _"Former,_ Ginny. And watch what you say around here!"

Indeed, some people began to look at the girls questioningly.

"Oops," Ginny mumbled, "I forget how fresh the wounds really are."

Hermione grabbed her drink, "You of all people should know, Ginny."

Ginny looked stunned, then saddened. Hermione noticed.

"I'm sorry, Ginny. I didn't mean to make it sound like that."

Ginny shrugged it off. "I know. And you're right, but this is how I deal with loss. Sometimes making light of the situation is what you need to do."

The two girls finished their meals and decided to continue shopping.

"How's everything at home, Ginny?" Hermione asked.

Ginny merely shrugged. "I hate being around everyone. Especially mum."

Hermione looked confused. "But why?"

"I just do. It's not the same since Fred died. George pretends everything is fine, but we all know he's just pretending. It's so frustrating because it's not okay." Ginny finished in a huff.

Hermione consoled her friend. "I understand that, Ginny, but you still have George and Ron and Charlie and dumb Percy- you still have a lot of family left and they want you to know that they're always going to be there for you."

Ginny shrugged. "I guess." She paused, searching for something else to say. "Were you really planning on spending all day here, Hermione?"

"No. It's almost 3 o'clock. We can leave now." Hermione laughed.

The girls headed back to their floo site and landed in Headmaster Snape's office once more.

Ginny stepped out of the fireplace and looked around.

"Whew," she breathed a sigh of relief, "he's not here."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ginny he's really not that bad."

They walked down the spiral staircase and into the hallway. After no more than two steps, Hermione heard him call her name.

"Ah, Miss Granger. Miss Weasley, I do not think you would mind if I borrowed Miss Granger for purposes of academia- would you?" Snape drawled.

Ginny spoke carefully. "Not at all, sir. See you later, Hermione."

Ginny walked quickly down the hallway and Hermione smirked after her. Once the red head was out of sight, Hermione turned to Snape.

* * *

"Hello, sir," she breathed.

His response was short, but strong. "Come."

Hermione followed Snape back up the spiral stairs into his office.

He motioned to the chair across from his desk, and Hermione sat quietly. He sat in his desk chair.

"Hermione I must ask you something. I believe we are at that point where we can be honest with one another and not keep things hidden." Snape looked directly into Hermione's eyes.

She chuckled. "Sir, you don't have to use Legilimency on me. I will always tell you the truth."

Snape softened his stare. "I would never do such a thing without your permission."

He paused and then continued.

"Part of the reason I wanted you to stay here over the holiday was to work on our potion, but there was also another reason." His voice grew softer.

Hermione cocked her head. "What's that, sir?"

Snape continued. "I want you to come home with me."

Hermione was genuinely confused. "Home?"

"Did you really believe this was my only home?" He snorted.

"Well- I um- I guess I had never actually thought about that before." Hermione's look was a mixture of embarrassment and intrigue.

"I own a home and I usually go home during the holidays to maintain its upkeep." He was serious.

"Sir, do you have any family?"

"No, Hermione." Snape started, "My mother and my father were my only family. I never knew any of my parents' siblings, and I don't intend to start at this age. I'm sure my presence wouldn't be too well received anyway."

"You don't know that-," Hermione started, but was interrupted by Snape.

"I _do._ And I wouldn't care to know anyone related to my father either."

Hermione changed the topic back to the house, "So you would like me to go with you?"

Snape nodded his head. "Yes, I would. I could understand if you did not want to, but I assure you will be treated with the utmost respect."

"I wasn't worried about that at all. I would be delighted to go with you." Hermione flashed him a bright smile.

Snape looked physically relieved. "Good. Pack for a week."

"A week?" Hermione asked shockingly.

Snape merely nodded his head.

"Okay. Do I need to bring anything specific? My work? Ingredients?" she asked.

Snape laughed heartily. "No, my dear. Just some clothes and yourself."

"Okay, I will be ready for whenever you would like to leave. Does Professor McGonagall know?" Hermione inquired.

"Yes. She has taken over duties as Headmaster and believes we are traveling to study a rare potion. I am certain you know it was no trouble to get her to agree to the task," Snape smirked.

"Not for a second. I bet she will hardly notice our absence."

Snape's floo activated and Hermione motioned to the flames.

"Sir, you have a guest. I'll take my leave now." Hermione got up and walked to the door.

"Have a good evening Hermione," Snape called after her.

Hermione smiled and left the office, clutching the wrapped gift under her robe.

* * *

Severus waited until he heard his office door close before he received his guest. Out walked a beaming Thomas.

"Good evening, Severus. I hope all is well," Thomas extended his hand.

Severus reached out and took it. "Yes, quite well. I do hope it is the same with you."

Thomas shook his head quickly and began speaking. "You are in luck. I was able to get the stone. I was on my way back from visiting another jeweler, so I figured I would pop in and tell you the good news personally. I should have the ring finished Friday and will make sure you receive it then."

Severus contained his excitement well. "Excellent news, Thomas. Thank you for the speedy process. Send me the figures when you calculate and I will have the money ready when you bring the ring. Is that amenable?"

"Yes, yes that is quite fine, Severus. I promise you will not be disappointed. I must take my leave now. Do enjoy the rest of your evening." Thomas stepped back into the floo.

Severus bowed slightly and Thomas was gone.

He was overjoyed. _The perfect present for the perfect woman_. He tried to picture Hermione's bright eyes as she opened the box, and her warm skin radiant with embarrassment from such a piece. It was the first real present he had ever purchased for someone he cared about. He never spent such precious time agonizing over a material possession, but this was for Hermione and she was worth it.

He started to wonder which finger she would wear it on. _Should I place it on her finger or let her do that?_ If he put it on her, which finger was it appropriate to choose?

A frown spread across Severus' face. Why on earth had he chosen a _ring_ as the first meaningful present in their relationship? _She's going to think you're nuts, Severus_. _Trying to propose after only a few months._ He slapped his hand to his face. It would have been one thing if she was a perpetual wearer of jewelry, but the woman hardly ever wore a necklace, let alone a ring.

A pendant would have been better. She could wear it even if she didn't like it because it would remain hidden under her robes.

_Severus, don't be stupid. Hermione is a practical girl- she won't over think the matter._

It was true. Hermione wasn't the type who obsessed over small details. She will be surprised and she will love it.

"My boy," Albus' voice interrupted Severus' internal conflict. "Is there anything I might be able to help with? You look as if in a conundrum."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Albus must you offer assistance every time your portrait life becomes dull?"

"I only seek to help, Severus. You don't want to lose the girl- do you?" Albus chuckled.

Severus stood and faced the portrait. "Her present. An emerald ring. Do I put it on her finger or should she? Which finger would I put it on?"

Albus pondered the questions for a minute before he blinked slowly at Severus.

"I would like to say I grew accustomed to the characteristics of my students during my time at Hogwarts. Hermione was no exception. A gift as special as the one you have purchased will require your attention with regard to its placement. Hermione will surely ask for your assistance in that matter. As for the finger, well, that is entirely up to you however, I do not recommend using the finger where a ring of another sort will find its place someday." Albus' voice trailed off and his eyes began to twinkle.

Severus smirked. "Touche, old man. Yet wishful thinking."

"Not wishful at all in my opinion, boy." With a final smile, Albus walked out of his portrait.


	22. The Castle

"Are you sure you won't come with us?" Ginny was trying for the millionth time to persuade Hermione to ditch her holiday with Snape and come to the Burrow.

Hermione giggle, "Yes, Ginny, for the millionth time I cannot come this time. But I promise if I have a free day, I will pop over. Alright?"

"Fine," Ginny mumbled, "but know that it won't be the same without you. Have a Happy Christmas, Hermione." Ginny leaned in to hug her friend.

"Happy Christmas, Ginny. Now, where are the boys?" Hermione broke the hug and looked around.

"We're coming, we're coming," Harry called from the top of the dormitory stairs. Ron bumbled behind him, carrying a large bag.

Harry set his small bag on the floor and approached Hermione. "We wish you could come with us, Hermione, but Happy Christmas and hopefully you'll come and visit. Don't let Snape forget that this _is_ supposed to be a holiday after all." He gave her a short hug.

"I won't, Harry. I'm sure he wants to enjoy his vacation as well." She smiled warmly.

Ron gave a small hug and a "We'll miss you," and Hermione watched as her three friends left the dorm. She waited a brief minute before exiting and heading back to her own room.

Once in her room, Hermione began to pack for the week with Snape. She was beyond nervous. They had a decent relationship, but this would be the most time alone they had ever spent together so far.

She didn't have to worry about potions ingredients, so she focused on packing her clothes instead. She reached for the wrapped package and smiled. There was no way he wouldn't absolutely love the pendant. Her earlier moment of self-consciousness had finally subsided into one of excitement.

Hermione loved Christmas and especially loved surprising her loved ones with their gifts. That was always her favorite part. The knowledge that she brought happiness and joy to their faces was the ultimate present for her. When she was a little girl her parents joked that she would have left her presents until New Year's Day because she was more excited to watch her family open their gifts instead. Her mind wandered from thoughts of the pendant to the living situations. _Would there be two bedrooms?_ Hermione froze. She was not a prude by any means, but she also did not want to seem like a floozy. _Oh Hermione_ , she thought, _he thinks of you as neither of those words._ It was silly to think about, but her mind was racing with anxious thoughts.

She supposed Snape would have two bedrooms, but would prefer her to sleep with him. She was certain the first night was going to be slightly awkward as they adjusted to the new arrangements. Hermione had no problem with closeness, and was looking forward to waking up next to him. She hoped silently that he felt the same.

Hermione glanced at the magical clock stuck to her wall. She had thirty minutes before she met Snape. With the flick of her wand, the folded clothes on her bed flew neatly into her large duffel bag. She placed the package carefully on top and zipped the bag. With a last glance around her room, Hermione closed the door and started the walk to Snape.

* * *

Severus waited patiently in his office for Hermione. He was not nervous. There was nothing to be nervous about. He cared for Hermione and knew that she felt the same. He would never pressure her into something that she did not feel absolutely comfortable with, and she was outspoken enough to voice her concerns. He was more nervous about the small package resting in his coat pocket.

There was a soft knock at his office door. Severus rose from his chair slowly and mentally opened the door. Hermione walked in carrying her bag and smiling brightly. His heart warmed at that sight. She wasn't nervous. She was happy. Happy to be spending time with him.

"I must admit," she started, "I believe it's been years since I've been on a trip that didn't involve chasing Harry around. It feels rather nice."

Severus smirked. "Well I would hope that my company would be slightly more enjoyable than that of horcruxes or Mr. Weasley."

Hermione giggled at the statement. "Yes, it is _much_ more enjoyable." She walked quickly over to Severus, dropped her brag, and wrapped her arms around him. "I've missed you so much, Severus."

Still working on his tolerance to the sudden change in personal displays of affection, Severus returned the gesture shyly. He smelled her hair, the faint scent of her skin, and was in heaven. This woman was more than brains or beauty, she was air and life. _His_ life. He intended on making sure she knew. He stepped back and took her hand.

"I do believe we have a ways to go before our arrival. We should get going." Severus picked up Hermione's bag and put it on his shoulder.

"Is it really that far where we're going?" Hermione asked.

Severus smiled, "Yes and no. I prefer to apparate to a certain destination and then drive the rest of the way. It makes for a much more memorable arrival."

Hermione smiled and took his hand. One of the perks of being Headmaster meant that Severus could apparate anywhere inside the castle.

"It's so nice not having to go out into the cold to apparate," Hermione voiced. Severus chuckled a small throaty chuckle before responding.

"I do hope whatever you packed in here is warm. Unfortunately, my house is not on an island."

Before Hermione could respond, she heard the crack of apparition and felt her body twist and shift. Soon enough she was standing with Severus outside a small house next to an abandoned train station.

"When my father was still alive and useful, he traveled quite a bit for his job. This train station was his main source of transportation. The owner lived there," Severus pointed to the small house. "Unfortunately, the owner died and both the house and the train station were abandoned. No one wanted to travel this far out to catch a train. I placed a protective charm over the house many years ago to protect it from looting and vandalism."

Severus led Hermione to the old house. Next to the house was a tiny one car garage, which Severus opened with his wand. Inside the garage was an old, yet well-preserved car. Hermione's confused look was not lost to Severus.

"There are many Muggle inventions that our kind really should invest in. I believed cars were always one of them. Despite the accidents, I still think they can be much safer than apparition and brooms," he explained.

"My- my father has a car like this. Well, _had_. I highly doubt either of them are still around." Hermione looked down at her feet.

Severus approached her and titled her chin toward his face. He spoke softly. "My dear, we will find them. I promise you."

Hermione looked into his eyes. "Please don't promise that. I don't think you realize how devastating it would be if we didn't."

Severus' glare burned into her eyes. "I. Promise." He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked her to the car.

The drive started out quietly. Severus would glance over at Hermione every once in a while just to make sure she wasn't silently crying. He knew her well enough to give her space before attempting to talk. He didn't mind. The silence was peaceful. Eventually, he saw her facial expression relax and he knew she was in a better place mentally. Within minutes she began to speak.

"I'm sorry Severus. My parents are still a sore subject for me. I didn't mean to ignore you, but thank you for just letting me calm down. You know me better than anyone." Hermione looked out the window.

"I do. You are allowed to be angry and upset, Hermione, but do not think for a second that I do not mean what I say. I know you believe your parents lost, but remember what my job was for years- finding those who did not wish to be found. I am confident that I can locate your parents. Please, do not doubt me." His voice began to rise slightly.

"I don't, Severus. If there's anyone who can do it, it's you. It's just one of those topics that saddens me," she looked to him, "and not trying to change the subject, but you look really _odd_ behind the wheel of a Muggle car." She began to laugh.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I do, do I? Then perhaps you would like to drive?" He removed his hands from the wheel and placed them behind his head.

Hermione's eyes went wide with fear. 'What are you doing?! Are you crazy?! Watch the road!"

She reached for the wheel, then noticed it move by itself. "Wha-what?"

Severus laughed, "The car drives itself. I do know how, but on the long drives it becomes quite a chore. I only put my hands on the wheel so I do not attract attention to myself from other drivers."

"Sometimes you're really a pain in my arse, Severus Snape," Hermione mumbled.

His eyes grew wide with shock. "Hermione, I must say I am not used to such foul language from your mouth. I am intrigued." He began to laugh some more.

"Don't you laugh at me! Just you wait, I'll get you back for this one day," she joked.

"Oh I look forward to the day Hermione Granger is able to pull one over on Severus Snape, ex Death Eater and right hand man to the Dark Lord." He smirked at Hermione, who shot a dirty look back at him.

Severus continued to pretend drive for quite some time before eventually pulling into a stone driveway closed off by an iron wrought gate. After reciting an incantation, the gate swung open and Severus continued up the driveway to a large stone castle.

Hermione's mouth dropped. " _This_ is your _house_? Severus this is a _mansion_ , not a house!" She gaped at the extraordinary landscaping covered softly with snow and the exquisite masonry. It was a lovely castle. It reminded her of the small Irish castles her father used to show her in travel books. Well, if a castle could be small.

Severus shrugged. "You know I don't particularly enjoy spending or flaunting my money, but this was something I had always wanted since I was a young boy. A castle safe from my father and from the Dark Lord. He had no idea I had this. It's extremely protected and appears as a measly cottage to Muggles. I'm very proud of it."

"You should be Severus, it is stunning. It looks like a picture from a book. I can't wait to see the inside."

Severus pulled into a four car garage and turned the engine off. He got out of the car and retrieved their belongings. Hermione followed closely behind.

He opened the door inside the garage which was connected to the breakfast kitchen. Cherry hardwood floors and cabinets, marble countertops, stainless appliances, and the most grandiose table she had ever seen appeared before her eyes. The décor was almost as nice as his room at Hogwarts.

"This is lovely Severus. I can't believe what I am seeing." Hermione ran her fingers along the countertop. Everything was impeccably clean. "Who cleans this place?"

"It is a self-cleaning charm I invented. Trusting people is not my strongest point, so I have no staff here. Just myself and a good cleaning charm." He placed the bags next to a spiral staircase that led upstairs. "You are the only other person who has been inside."

Hermione look confused, "Dumbledore? Minerva?"

He shook his head slowly. "As much as I cared for them, their presence was always linked to the War and the Dark Lord. I wanted this to be my haven from that. There was no one else I could trust to bring here."

She smiled and took his hand. "I am really honored Severus. Will you show me everything?"

He returned her smile and led her through the kitchen into the living room.

The castle was by no means _dark_ , but Hermione mentally noted his favorite colors: burgundy, emerald green, brown, dark gold. Each room was mostly emerald green with accents of the other colors. It was homey. The large fireplace lit up the living room and made the large leather chairs look even more comfortable. Double glass doors led to the back porch with an incredible view of the enormous plot of land he owned.

"You could put a pool back here." Hermione suggested.

"A what?" Severus asked.

Hermione laughed, "A pool. For swimming?"

"Ah yes. Purposely getting wet for fun. Sounds delightful." He smirked and grabbed her hand once more.

Severus led her up the spiral staircase to the second floor. There were countless doors and she was anxious to see what was behind each one.

"With each minute that passes, I feel more and more like Belle from _Beauty and the Beast_." Hermione saw the look of confusion on Severus' face and began to explain the story.

"My house reminds you of a story where a girl is trapped inside a castle with a beast. Interesting."

She laughed, " _No_. All of the rooms and doors remind me of the story. You're not a beast- stop that."

After showing her the potions room, the library, and the second living area, Severus led her down a hall with two more doors.

"These are the bedrooms," he started, "I wasn't sure wha-,"

Hermione cut him off, "I don't need a separate bedroom. I'm staying with you."

Severus bowed slightly and smiled, "As you wish."

He maintained a cool composure but inside he was beaming. He didn't have to ask, or fumble with his words. She knew exactly what she wanted and told him.

He picked her bag up and opened the door to the master bedroom. It was no surprise that it, too, was beautifully decorated with the biggest bed Hermione had ever seen. The connected bathroom was the size of her living quarters at Hogwarts, complete with a bathtub the size of a small garage.

There was one thing missing from the castle, she noted. It wasn't decorated at all. She was certain he was smart enough to work his cleaning charm around the holiday, especially knowing that he would stay here for the break.

"Severus, do you decorate for the holiday?" she asked.

"I was wondering when you would ask me about that," he walked out of the bed room and motioned for her to follow.

The extensive library was housed inside the second living room. It was massive, with walls of books from floor to ceiling and beautiful hardwood floors.

"This is normally where I decorate. I keep it to one room for my sanity. You can decorate it as you wish this year." He waved his hand and seven giant boxes appeared in the middle of the room, along with a 14 foot tree.

Hermione's eyes lit up. She loved Christmas, and loved decorating. She always felt a pang of sadness each year as Hogwarts decorated itself, but not this year. She was going to decorate a tree for the first time in years. Even staying at the Weasley's never allowed for this.

She turned to Severus. "Do you realize in the short span of twenty-odd minutes you have made me the happiest girl in the world?" She hugged him tightly and ran to the boxes, leaving Severus to look on with happiness.

For the next few hours, Hermione left the living area for two things: to use the loo and to hug Snape randomly. He would check in on her every so often with tea and food, but for the most part he left her to her work and stayed inside his potions room.

He was about to return to the kitchen to start dinner, when he heard her call for him. She was standing outside the room with the door closed.


	23. Potions and Three Little Words

"Are you ready to be amazed?" She asked.

She opened the door, and Snape stepped into a dream. It was as if he was walking into a Christmas display at Harrods of London.

"Hermione, this is incredible."

"Thanks," she smiled, "there was no way I was going to put together a crummy display inside a house of exquisite décor. This is my favorite time of the year. I always missed decorating for Christmas. You have given me so much in such a short time already, Severus."

"I will do anything to make sure you are happy, Hermione. I want you to know that." He pulled her close and kissed her warmly. "It really looks beautiful. If magic does not work out, maybe Harrods will hire you," he joked.

She laughed. "Actually, when I was little I would always tell my mum I wanted to decorate for a living. Imagine the faces on two dentists when they heard that." She shook her head slowly and sighed.

Snape noticed her wandering thoughts and quickly interrupted them. "Let's start dinner, shall we?"

Hermione nodded and followed him to the kitchen.

Within forty-five minutes, Snape placed a steaming plate of food in front of Hermione.

"This looks delicious. I had no idea you could cook." Hermione took a bite of the stew and closed her eyes. It tasted every bit as good as it looked.

"When my mother was too sore and depressed to cook, this was the only way I could keep my father at bay. If he didn't have a meal he became angrier." He began to eat as well.

They ate in comfortable silence together until Snape spoke again.

"Might I suggest working on a project this evening? I would like to get something accomplished before Christmas Eve."

"Of course," Hermione replied, "I'm quite anxious to work in your room here. It's amazingly stocked."

Snape picked up their dishes and brought them to the sink. He rinsed them off and put them in a Muggle dishwasher.

Hermione laughed. "There are so many things about this place that remind me of home. I like it."

"I'm glad you do. I really enjoy this place myself and I'm excited to share it with you." Snape turned the dishwasher on and the two of them walked back upstairs into the potions room.

* * *

The room was similar to the dungeons, but did not feel as confining. The small windows set in the stone walls allowed for the little sunlight that was left to pass through. The floor was stone as well, and there were two tables set up side by side with large cauldrons. The opposite wall to the windows shelved every ingredient a potions master could ever dream of having.

"It is not surprising that you have mastered every potion that will be tested on your ministry examination. That being said, I am not going to waste your time or mine continually making them. I have an idea for a memory potion that I would like to start. It will be like a liquid Remembrall, stimulating the area of the brain where facts are stored. The basic ingredients are of those in any memory potion, except for a few key parts that we will experiment with." Snape stopped speaking. "Would you be willing to assist with this project?"

Hermione nodded furiously. "Yes, my goodness this sounds incredible. I cannot wait to begin."

Snape continued. "Very good. There are two days until Christmas Eve, which is about the time it takes to brew a basic memory potion. We will put a stasis charm on the brew and resume once the holiday is over. Then we can begin experimenting. You will brew a batch and I will brew a batch. I want to ensure we have enough to test without having to waste time making more."

Hermione put her hair up and pushed her sleeves back. She looked at Snape, "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's begin."

* * *

Severus loved watching Hermione brew. Her quick, careful motions. Her intense glare. She reminded him of when he was a student. Potions was the only subject he could get lost in for hours and never notice the time passing. She was also an extraordinary student. Her potions were perfect every time. Every chop, every stir- each step was done with perfection and caution.

He was surprised the mention of a memory potion didn't stir up an odd feelings about her parents. For the safety of the project he had to tell her what they were brewing, but he hoped it wouldn't cause a negative reaction that would jeopardize the results. Even if she thought about her parents, she didn't let it show. That was one of her many amazing qualities. She knew when to let go of personal issues and focus on the task at hand.

They brewed side by side for several hours, until Hermione added her last ingredient and set her cauldron to low. Severus had already finished, but he kept busy to prevent Hermione from feeling rushed.

"How did you finish so quickly?" It was hard for anything to get past Hermione.

"Practice. Some potions become first nature to your hands. You won't have to think about them." Severus responded. "Let's go sit by the fire."

Hermione settled herself on the plush leather couch downstairs and looked out at the softly falling snow. Severus joined her carrying a tray of tea. He handed her a cup.

"When I was little I dreamed of feeling this way," Hermione voiced quietly.

Severus stopped, then put the tray down on the table in front of them. He sat on the floor next to her legs and sipped his tea.

"The feeling of warmth and comfort. Sitting by a fire and watching the snow fall knowing you couldn't possibly want to be anywhere else. Those feelings. After losing my parents and chasing Harry and Ron around for all those years, I truly lost hope that I would ever find this someday. I know I snapped at you, but even if you can't find my parents, you have already given me everything I have ever wanted." Hermione put her cup to her lips and drank deeply. She continued staring out the window.

For a brief moment, only the crackle of the fire could be heard.

"I- I cannot lie to you, Hermione," Severus finally spoke. "For a very long time, since my childhood, I believed I would end up alone. And for the longest time that is what my life was. Lonely. Some might even call it depressing, but I never felt that way. Mostly because I only felt loneliness was something I deserved. I'm not a man of kindness to most people. I dislike most people. What was there for me to like about the human race? Muggle or magic, I was constantly abused and disregarded as a person. So, I turned to a life I shouldn't have. Something that made me feel wanted and important. Unlike most people, I actually realized my errors. I never _wanted_ that life, but what choice did an angry teen have?" He paused to take another sip of his tea. "There are some things I could tell you that you would never believe. There are other things that you would not want to believe. My feelings and wants are no different from yours, Hermione. We both know how to hide them well."

Hermione placed her cup on the table and turned to Severus, tears in her eyes.

"I have something to tell you. But I don't know how to say it," she slowly put her head in her hands.

Quietly, Severus placed his cup next to hers and leaned to kiss her head. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Hermione. You know you can tell me anything."

Hermione lifted her head and looked into his eyes. She no longer saw the blackness in them, or the harshness- she saw only one thing. _Love_.

"I love you, Severus." Tears rolled slowly down her cheek.

Severus quickly moved to her and placed his hands on either side of her face, "And I love you."

Hermione's eyes opened wide in shock. "Really?" She whispered.

"Really," he answered. He leaned in closely and kissed her hard.

She responded immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck. Severus loved kissing Hermione. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Her tiny frame fit perfectly in his arms. He loved her. He loved and he wanted her. But it was still too soon for that. He carefully broke away, not wanting to offend her, and kissed her ear slowly.

"I have felt this way for a while, Severus. But I was too afraid to even think about it and accidently cause the bird to do something. I wanted to make sure this was you and not a wish." Hermione traced his nose with her fingertip.

"I promise you this is not the work of that silly bird. I love you whether you wish for it or not." He reached for her finger and kissed it. "Is there anything else you would like to do tomorrow once we finish the brewing?"

Hermione thought for a second and smiled. "Yes, there is, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. You just have to trust me."

* * *

Hermione woke the next morning with a smile on her face. _And I love you_. Those words rang through her ears. She looked at the man sleeping peacefully next to her and stroke his hair lightly. Severus began to stir.

He opened one eye and looked at her. "I'm sorry, Severus, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I wake up next to this beautiful creature and she apologizes for playing with my hair. You really are a strange woman, Hermione. Come here." Severus pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head.

"I hope the accommodations were to your liking?" he mumbled.

"Are you suggesting that I may have not enjoyed sleeping with you?" Hermione laughed.

"You didn't sleep _with_ me, you slept _next_ to me. There is a difference." Severus retorted.

Hermione slapped him playfully, "Don't be so cheeky, Severus. It's way too early for that!"

He smirked at her and closed his eyes, "Are you one of those morning birds I have always been warned of?"

Hermione chuckled, "Perhaps. But there are perks to that. I'm guessing I can find everything I need for breakfast in the kitchen?"

Severus nodded slowly and watched as she jumped cheerfully out of the bed.

Hermione walked downstairs and opened the giant refrigerator. It was completely stocked. She reached for eggs, milk, and juice. She found some thick bread in the cupboard and settled for French toast. Within twenty minutes Severus was slowly coming down the stairs to the sweet scent of syrup and coffee.

"I must admit, I didn't think you were a cook," he peered over her shoulder as she manned the stove.

She pointed a spatula at him, "I'll have you know my mum and I won the mother-daughter bake off at our local church for four years straight." She laughed at the silent memory. "She always told me if I didn't learn to cook, then I would never find a husband." She flipped the last of the toast onto a plate and handed it to Severus. "It's fun. I like cooking. It's one of the few activities that turns out better if you _don't_ use magic. Makes it more of a challenge to get it right." Hermione followed Severus to the table and they ate the meal happily.

They spent the rest of the day in the potions room brewing another batch of the memory potion. Severus always finished first, which didn't bother Hermione, and spent the rest of the time working out which ingredients they were going to test.

Severus looked forward the evening spent with Hermione. Working with her was nice, but relaxing in her presence was even better.

She finished her last batch and looked at him. "I'm finished. Are you ready for what I have planned?"

Severus had completely forgotten, but nodded in agreement.

She took his hand and led him into the kitchen. "We're making a gingerbread house."

"A what?" Severus looked confused.

"It's one of the most popular Christmastime activities! You make a house out of gingerbread cookie and then decorate it with frosting and candy."

Severus laughed, "Some of these Muggle ideas really make me wonder how on earth they were invented."

Hermione didn't even need a recipe. She worked quickly to mix the batter and bake the pieces. Severus helped, but he mostly watched. Eventually he asked the obvious, "I am guessing you have done this many times."

Hermione nodded, mixing a bowl of icing furiously. "Every year. It's a tradition. It's first nature to me now, just like many potions are to you."

"Hermione," Severus began slowly, "I can't help but notice much of what you have been doing reminds you of home. I don't want anything to upset you-,"

She cut him off. "It doesn't. If anything it makes me more determined that we will find them and we will restore their memories. Beside, for the longest time I feel like I am at home, and I want to share these things with you." She pulled the cookie parts out of the oven. "This isn't a game to me, Severus. You are part of my life now. Every part, from Christmas trees to gingerbread houses, past memories to future ones. You're a part of everything."

Severus pulled her close, "I am so honored and happy that you have allowed me into your life like this, Hermione. You have no idea what I would do for your happiness. I would do anything." He kissed her forehead. "Now, show me how to put this thing together."

* * *

Several hours later, Hermione was the first to break the concentrated silence with a laugh. "I must admit, not bad for a non-Muggle!"

He was concentrating on bewitching the two gingerbread people so they skated on a pool of hardened icing in front of the house.

"There," he said, "Nothing like a little magic to spice up a Muggle project."

Hermione shook her head playfully, "Mum never would have allowed that," she joked. "It looks really great, Severus, I'm proud of you! The potions master turned culinary king."

"I wouldn't stretch it that far, but if I'm the king then you are most definitely my queen," she laughed as he pulled her to him. He looked into her eyes. "I love you, my Hermione. Very much and I will always take care of you."

"I love you too, Severus. And I will always let you take care of me, _while_ taking care of you, as well."

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Let's put the stasis on the potions and go to bed." Hermione smiled and let Severus lead her upstairs.


	24. Christmas Eve Shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smiles in smut*

It was here. The day Severus had been waiting for. Christmas Eve only meant one thing, and that was that the next day was Christmas and he would give Hermione her ring. The nervousness he once felt about the gift came back as excitement. He couldn't wait to see the look on her perfect face. The blush in her cheeks of embarrassment. The kisses she would shower him with. It was all too much to wait for. Severus was not a patient man, but he would try for her.

He left her sleeping and walked into the decorated living room. He admired the decorations and the perfectly lit tree. He closed his eyes and pictured the two of them on top of the tree skirt, her eyes bright with excitement from the holiday.

The vision of pure happiness quickly changed into something else. Hermione was no longer admiring the ring on her finger, she was climbing on top of Severus demanding him to take his clothes off. Daydream Severus could only oblige to such a radiant beauty, and soon enough he could practically feel her hands running up and down his chest. Real life Severus groaned.

It was no surprise that he wanted Hermione in a physical way, and he was by no means an old man. But it wasn't his decision to make, and they were nowhere near close to a discussion on the topic. He didn't know much about her private life, not that he wanted to think about it, but he knew she had boyfriends in the past. How serious they had been was unknown to him. He looked down at the bulge in his pants, _Christ, Severus! You're no better than a bloody teenager._ He walked quickly to the nearest shelf and randomly reached for a book: _How to Train a Hippogriff._ It would have to do, and he sat down to read his erection away.

* * *

Hermione stretched and looked at the empty spot next to her. She frowned, then quickly breathed a sigh of relief. She was conflicted. Snape was not a young man. He had needs. Needs that he would likely never voice his opinion on. She was technically a young woman, but old enough to have needs too. She wanted Snape. Badly. But there was no way for her to touch the subject without embarrassment or making herself look desperate. She planned on spending years with this man, so why should she feel like a horny schoolgirl? She was by no means experienced, but she wasn't a virgin either.

She winced at the thought. Viktor Krum. She liked him enough and he was handsome enough, but he had sex like he talked: awkwardly and robotically. He was her first, and it hurt like hell, but she never regretted it. Hermione wasn't the type of girl who thought of sex as the magical window to love and paradise. It was definitely more meaningful between persons who loved one another, but it didn't mean there was always love. She didn't love Viktor, and she was pretty sure he didn't love her, but attraction was there and well, it happened.

But how to talk about this with Snape? _Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you should just take what you want. Wish for it…_ Hermione stopped and closed her eyes. She could definitely wish for Snape to have sex with her, but where was the romance in that? She loved him and wanted this time to be different. She turned on her back and stared at the ceiling. That's when she had the idea. She would just take what she wanted, but in a special way. She closed her eyes and made her first wish in days. _I wish my plan works out._

Snape interrupted her trance. "Are you ready for breakfast? Or lunch- it's already noon."

Hermione nodded and slowly got out of bed. She followed him into the kitchen and gasped. The table was laden with the most exquisite buffet she had ever seen. Every food she could want over the holidays was there.

"It was always a tradition for my family to have a large lunch on Christmas Eve. It's my turn to share something with you," Snape said.

"This looks wonderful!" Hermione ran to the table and began filling her plate with food. Croissants, biscuits, eggs, sausages- everything imaginable.

"I cannot lie, though, I did not make all this. But I hope you enjoy it anyway." Snape laughed as Hermione had already filled her plate and started to eat.

"What? I'm hungry!"

The two ate and exchanged stories of past Christmases at their houses. Hermione told the story of the puppy she once received from her parents, but was forced to give up after they found out she was allergic. Snape recalled one Christmas where his mother accidentally poured rum into the eggnog instead of milk and he and his brother were drunk shepherds in their local Christmas pageant.

"I was never able to be in the pageant," Hermione said, "but I always loved watching it every year."

They were digesting over cups of coffee when Snape asked Hermione if she brought a Christmas dress with her. She nodded that she had and asked why. He only smiled and shrugged his shoulders. They spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other's company in the library. Hermione couldn't believe the collection he had obtained over the years, and it didn't take long before she was absorbed in an ancient medieval text.

* * *

She barely felt the hand Snape placed on her shoulder several hours later.

"Hermione, dear. Go put your dress on. We're leaving in thirty minutes."

A confused look crossed her face, but she did as instructed and went into the master bedroom to change. A half an hour later, she emerged from the bedroom looking spectacular and walked downstairs. Her chestnut locks were perfectly curled, the little makeup she wore framed her face well, and the crushed velvet emerald-green dress she wore fit her curves perfectly. The bookworm cleaned up well, but so did the potions master.

His suit was tailored to fit every inch of his lean body, and it made Hermione weak. The confidence in her plans for him that evening began to grow stronger. Everything was going to go as planned. She could feel it.

"You look marvelous, Hermione." Snape kissed her briefly.

"I can say the same about you," she ran her fingers up and down the collar of his shirt. "You're so handsome, Severus."

Snape blushed a little before reaching for her hand and kissing it. "Let's go, or we won't get a good seat."

"Seat? For what?"

The drove for a few miles until Snape pulled into the parking lot of a small school.

Hermione looked out the window, "Severus what are we doing here?"

He smiled. "We are going to see the Christmas pageant, Hermione. Do you think I'd let you miss that?"

Tears welled in her eyes as she smiled back at him.

It wasn't surprising that most everyone stared at the couple that night. It was a mixture of the age difference and the couple's outfits. It didn't bother Hermione one bit, in fact she didn't notice. She sat happily the entire time watching the little kids as they portrayed the animals around the manger. The stares didn't go unnoticed to Snape, and it bothered him, but one look at the smile on Hermione's face quickly evaporated the anger. He knew this would happen. Perhaps it was better to ease into it with Muggles, and then the magic population.

When they finally arrived back to the castle, a dinner was already waiting for them. Hermione talked incessantly about the adorable children and how much has changed over the years with regards to pageant production.

Snape stopped her and laughed, "Hermione, it's a children's pageant, not the West End."

She only rolled her eyes and continued to gush over his thoughtfulness and the evening.

When dinner ended, Hermione decided it was time to begin her plan.

"Severus, I'm going to take a quick shower. Shall we read tonight?"

He looked at her quizzically, but nodded in response.

"Alright, I will meet you in the library after." She smiled sweetly and walked upstairs.

 _That was odd_ , Severus thought to himself. She had never announced her hygiene plans to him up until this point, but he ignored it and set about wandering to the library.

He was about to begin the third chapter in _Advanced Potions for the Master or Mistress_ , when he heard his name.

"Severus? Can you come here for a second? I can't reach the big fluffy towels." Hermione called.

Severus smiled to himself and placed the book upside down on his chair and headed to the bedroom.

"My dear, I know you can perform wandless magic. Why didn't you just-," Severus stopped his sentence at the door of the bedroom.

Standing perfectly square to the door was Hermione in a deep green teddy. Her freshly washed and dried hair fell loosely to her shoulders, and a slight blush warmed her cheeks.

"Wha-," Severus swallowed, "what are you doing, Hermione?" He managed to whisper.

"Come here and I'll show you," she said confidently.

Severus was not one to follow commands, but when the woman he loved was standing before him barely clothed telling him to come closer, he did as he was told.

He walked slowly towards her, until she put her hand out and motioned for him to stop. She closed the distance between them and began to unbutton his shirt.

"I know you are a man of respect and integrity. You don't express your wants or needs, but I know what they are. I know what they are because I share them too." She continued to work her way down his shirt until she reached the last button. She undid it and placed her hands on his bare chest.

He closed his eyes.

"I want you too, Severus. I've wanted you for a while, but I was afraid you would want to wait longer. I don't want to wait anymore. I want you and I want you now." She removed his shirt one arm at a time, walking behind him and stopping to whisper in his ear. "If you don't want this, there's a perfect memory potion on stasis currently. I know what needs to be added to create a memory altering potion. This could all be forgotten-," Severus spun around quickly and held her tightly to his bare chest.

"Hermione, surely you jest if you believe I haven't wanted this as for as long as you have," he whispered, "I will worship your body in a way no man has ever done. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she breathed.

Severus picked her up carefully and carried her to the large bed. He laid her on the edge and removed his belt slowly, giving her time to rethink the situation. She did nothing of the sort. She licked her lips and told him to move faster.

This was it. This was the moment he had been yearning for, and clearly she had been too, and he was going to make it as memorable as possible. He placed his hand on her stomach and mumbled a quiet incantation. Looking up, he saw her confused look and explained that neither of them was ready for a Hermione junior. He slowly peeled off his suit pants, leaving him in nothing put a pair of black boxer briefs. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Black suits you. But I prefer those off," Hermione closed her eyes and heard Severus gasp. When she opened them he was standing completely naked before her. "There, that's better."

Not concerned with the fact that he was naked, Severus leaned into her and smiled. "Two can play that game." Without blinking an eye, Hermione's lingerie was off and she was naked as well.

The flush in her cheeks increased tenfold, but Severus was more concerned with the beautiful woman in front of him. He drank in her fair and flawless skin, the dip of her hips, her supple breasts- she was a goddess. And he was going to treat her as such.

He started gently kissing her forehead, her lips, neck, each of her breasts, and ended where Hermione liked him most- between her legs. He licked and nipped and sucked, each time eliciting more moans from the witch. After several minutes of the tortuous pleasure, she was able to squeak out a request to stop.

"Sev- Severus, please, please I want you now," she gasped. Severus got up from the ground and picked her up off the edge of the bed and placed her in the center. He climbed in next to her, then placed her on top of him.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, Hermione. Do you know that?" He spoke quietly, and gently resumed playing with her most sensitive area with his fingertip.

She closed her eyes, "You are the most wonderful man I have ever met and seen and been with," she moaned as he increased the pace of his strokes. "But, I can't let you be deprived." She winked at him and slowly slid down his body.

He shut his eyes in anticipation, but nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of her mouth around him. No one had ever felt this good. Not even the whores who were _paid_ to learn this skill. She increased her pace and just as he was about to go crazy, she slowed down again. She knew what she was doing. _She's not a virgin. It is not possible._ He mentally noted. That was perfect. Their first time could be remembered as one of pleasure, and not of pain.

He finally reached the point where if he allowed her to continue her actions, he would be the quickest shag she'd ever had. Grabbing the sides of her arms, he pulled her back to him and kissed her hard on the lips. He pushed her to the side gently, and hovered above her. She gazed at him intently and closed her eyes as he entered her slowly. She gasped at the sensation, and the feeling of fullness inside of her. He was by no means _huge,_ but he wasn't small either. Once he was completely inside, he stopped and looked down at Hermione. She threw her arms around his neck and muttered, "Take me, please. I'm yours."

Severus needed not another word or sign from her, and he slowly thrust in and out, quickening the pace at each delightful sound Hermione made. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation flowing through his entire body. He was making love to the woman he hoped would be his for a long time, and she was loving it. Each time she shuddered and moaned his name, he could feel himself grow harder. The physicality between them was astounding. Severus couldn't wait to have her everywhere possible. He wanted to feel himself inside of her. He wanted to her in every position physically possible. Pictures flooded his mind: the library floor, in front of the fire, in the shower. The thoughts subconsciously gave him stamina he never knew he had because he had never been with anyone like her. He bit her neck softy and continued to pound into her, loving the site of her glazed eyes and open mouth. Once her legs started to shake uncontrollably he realized she was finished, and with a few quick motions he finished, emptying himself inside of her.

He laid on top of her for what seemed like forever. He buried his head in her curls and breathed deeply. The smell was amazingly intoxicating.

"Severus?" Hermione spoke quietly.

"Yes, love?"

"How long _would_ you have waited before you lost control and took me on the potions room floor?"

Severus picked his head up and looked into her eyes. He laughed. "Surely, you know that would have never happened. I am not a man who loses control easily," he paused. "But in answer to your question, truthfully, I do not know."

"I'm glad I wear the pants in this relationship then," she teased.

Severus slowly brought his hand down to her sore, sensitive area and flicked it gently. Hermione shuddered. "What was that about pants?" He drawled. He removed his hand and kissed her forehead. "Come. Let's shower and sleep."


	25. Christmas Part I

After what seemed like their thousandth rinse and repeat, Severus was finally able to control himself and let Hermione shower completely. He had the best sleep in years that Christmas Eve. His dreams were clear and vivid, prophesizing what their relationship was to bring. He saw more nights (and days) of intimacy, traveling, brewing, love, and a family. The startling image of him holding a child shook him from his sleep Christmas morning. It unnerved him in a way that scared him. He _wanted_ a family with Hermione. The greasy git from the dungeons wanted a child of his own. He turned to the woman sleeping beautifully next to him and kissed her forehead.

When she didn't stir, he got out of bed and walked to the library. A dozen presents were lying neatly under Hermione's decorated tree. He placed his small package carefully on top of the pile and went to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Severus had barely put the eggs on the skillet when he heard Hermione coming down the stairs. He looked up at her bed hair and smiled. Her face was radiant. Whether it was from actual Christmas Day or the night before he couldn't be sure, but he knew the radiance suited her well.

"Happy Christmas, Severus!" She bound down the rest of the stairs and threw her arms around his waist.

"Happy Christmas, my love." He put the spatula down and returned the gesture. "You look well rested," he teased.

She blushed. "Well I had a very good night's sleep, thank you very much." She poked her head over his shoulder and took a whiff. "Wow. That smells amazing. I don't think I'll be able to get over your culinary skills, Severus."

He continued to cook with a smile on his face. Hermione made them coffee and set the mugs on the kitchen table. Severus arrived with the food and set her plate down.

"Tuck in, love. We have a busy day ahead of us."

"Busy? It's Christmas, Severus. What could we possibly have to do?" Hermione began to eat.

"You will see," he pointed his fork at Hermione and ate.

Once breakfast was finished, Severus asked Hermione to join him in front of the fireplace.

"I do not want to say anything that will ruin today, so I am going to be as straightforward as possible," Severus took Hermione's hand and placed it in his lap. "I have a friend who is very good at finding people. Especially people who do not wish to be found. While your parents do not fall into that category, the level of easiness in finding them because of their memory alterations puts them in a similar category. I know you do not want me to promise you anything, but I have a very good feeling he will be able to help. I want you to know this."

Without missing a beat, Hermione questioned, "The potion. We're trying to make something to help my parents when- _if_ we find them, aren't we?"

Severus nodded. Hermione blew out a long sigh.

"Well, what did you think I was going to say? 'No, Severus do not help me find my parents'?" she laughed.

"I just did not want to upset you if I had to ask questions, or if your presence was required when I meet with my friend. Now that I know you are okay with this, there is nothing left to worry about." Severus kissed her hand gently.

"It's not that I was _worried,_ I just- I," Hermione stopped talking and began fidgeting with Severus' hand.

Severus didn't interrupt or prompt her to continue, he stared at her calmly until she was ready.

After a brief moment, she continued. "I didn't want to get my hopes up," she dropped her head. "I know what loss is like, and I know what loss feels like after you've been hoping and wishing for the outcome to be different. I've never truly told anyone what the Golden Trio," she rolled her eyes, "went through. The only ones who knew were either involved, or were there."

Severus noticed as she continued to speak, her eyes began to take on a new type of ferocity. Anger? Sadness? Despair? He couldn't quite make it out but it was a look he never saw before.

"Loss to some of those kids was cancelled Hogsmeade trips, or no end of term exams," Severus chuckled internally at this. Only Hermione would constitute no end of term exams as a loss. "They don't know what it was like waking up every day wondering if you were going to be alive at the end of the day. They- they don't know what it was like to be—," she stopped suddenly.

The look Severus once saw was gone, and a new look took its place. It was something harder. This time he prompted her.

"What _what_ was like?"

Hermione spoke plainly, her eyes filled with hate, "To be tortured."

For a split second, Severus felt something he hadn't in years: _fear._ Nothing frightened him anymore, how could it? But seeing such hatred in her dead stare truly frightened him. It was not something he had seen in her perfect brown eyes before, and it wasn't something he would want to ever see again. His brief moment of fear turned quickly into confusion.

"What?" he whispered silently.

Severus watched as Hermione lifted up her sleeve: _mudblood._ His teeth clenched. Slowly, she brushed her hair away from the side of her neck to reveal another scar. He closed his eyes. _A knife_ , he thought. Rage filtered through him, and he was transported to another life, _that_ other life. The one he never wanted to return to.

He stood up quickly, knocking her hands from his touch and stared into the beautifully decorated tree. _Calm, Severus, remain calm_. He remembered what it would take to bring his rage down from the Dark Lord days. Working for the Dark Lord meant your rage could only last but a minute before it was questioned and taken for weakness. Any type of emotions were seen as weakness because they meant you were vulnerable. Most of the other Death Eaters knew Severus' anger could be extreme, and mixed with his impeccable wand skills, they knew to leave him alone. Hermione did not.

She got up from her place and moved towards him. Severus could feel her moved position and instinctively spun and grabbed her arms harder than he intended. Hermione froze, she hadn't seen Severus like this in a long while. He saw the fear in her eyes and softened his grip. Through gritted teeth he spoke softly in his infamous snarl.

"You will never be hurt again. Do you understand that?" He took her arm and kissed each of the letters tenderly. When he was done, he pulled her close and kissed the scar on the side of her neck. She let out a sharp gasp and closed her eyes.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked, "I do not wish to harm you anymore."

Hermione took his hand and placed it on her neck, "Not when you touch it. But the memories are still fresh. It's hard to forget- sometimes it feels as if I will never be able to forget."

Severus saw the hate vanish instantly from her eyes as they began to fill with tears. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry, saying nothing, asking nothing- he let her cry. When she was done, she pulled away looking embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Severus. You must think so little of me for crying over something so small. A few scars are hardly comparable to those who lost their lives." She moved away and stared blankly in the fire. Instead of reaching out for her, Severus went to the plush couch adjacent to the fireplace and sat quietly. If there was one thing he learned in his years on this planet it was never argue with a woman when she is emotional.

After a moment, Hermione turned and sat at Severus' feet, resting her head against his leg.

"All my life I was tortured." He spoke quietly, but forcefully. Hermione's head picked up and she turned to stare at him. Before she could open her mouth, he continued.

"By my father, children at school, even my own friends at one point," Hermione turned back around and let her head fall back against his leg. "It was mostly emotional, but there were times it was physical, as well. I have heard people say emotional is the worst, but I disagree. When my father would hurt me he made it very clear crying was the window to more pain. I had to learn to fight those emotions- to fight sadness."

He placed his hand under her chin and turned her face towards his. Hermione stared into his eyes.

"The fact you are able to cry makes you stronger, not weaker, because even though you have been broken you did not lose the ability to feel." Hermione shifted positions so she could face him, and placed her hand over his.

"I have not been able to feel much of anything for a very long time. Frankly, the lack of feelings is what strengthened my desire to die. Why would I want to live in a world where I could truly never belong?" Severus grabbed ahold of Hermione's other hand and stood up, pulling her up as well. He put his hands gently on either side of her face.

"But you, throughout everything you did not lose the ability to feel things. It takes incredible strength to retain any feelings after what you have endured." He dropped his hands and walked towards the fireplace.

"What is it, Severus?' Hermione asked quietly.

"I- I only hope you will be able to stay with me knowing I am a cold man."

Hermione crossed to where he was standing, and used her hand to guide his face towards hers.

"Severus, if I am strong then you are stronger. Everything you have done, everything you have sacrificed I don't think for one second was done without feelings. If you are cold, let me be the fire that warms you. Let me show you it can be wonderful to feel- especially when you have someone to share those feelings with." She smiled softly at him and placed her hand against his cheek.

Severus pulled her into an embrace and held her tightly. "For you, I will try to be a better man."

After a few moments, Hermione pulled away and wiped some straggler tears from her eyes. She chuckled, "The way this morning has been you'd never know it was supposed to be Christmas."

Severus glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. "We must get going. Can you dress in ten minutes time?"

Hermione nodded and said nothing. Severus kissed her forehead and motioned for her to dress. He watched her climb the stairs and turned back towards the fire. _Please gods, do not let this be a mistake._

* * *

Hermione closed the bedroom door and closed her eyes. That was the first time she had spoken about her torture to someone who didn't know it had happened. It was painful to relive, even to someone as understanding as Severus. _Get a grip, Hermione. Don't let the past ruin your present._ If there was anything Hermione had learned it was life is short and you truly don't know what will happen. She wasn't about to let the horrors of her past prevent her from having the future she so desperately wanted. She dressed quickly, vying for dark jeans and a festive emerald green sweater embellished with gold beading.

When she returned downstairs, Severus was already waiting with his coat on.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Hermione couldn't make out the expression he wore on his face, and that frightened her.

She carefully slipped into her coat, keeping her eyes on his face. He must have sensed her concern because he offered her one of his signature smirks, and she relaxed just a bit.

She chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, "should I even bother ask where we're going?"

All Severus had to do was raise a single eyebrow and Hermione knew her answer. When she finished zipping up her coat, he took her hand and led her outside to the car.

It was a quiet drive along the countryside. Hermione didn't know what to say and Severus was already not a man of many words, so she kept her face positioned to gaze out the passenger window. She saw Christmas as it was meant to be celebrated for the first time in many years. Children were outside playing in the snow, probably waiting for their parents to clean up after breakfast so they could open gifts. Dads were shoveling the walk, while mums brought out mugs of fresh hot coco. Hermione sighed. Was it weird that was the kind of life she wanted for herself? She would never give up her love for the academics, but wasn't there more to life than books and tests? She rolled her eyes, _now you're starting to sound like Ron_ , she thought to herself. Her thoughts had distracted her from the present drive, and with bringing herself back to the present, she found the car had already been stopped outside an elegant two story home.

Hermione turned to look at Severus, who had clearly been watching her think.

"You know," she started, "sometimes I think I should just let you use Legilimency on me at your convenience. It might be helpful."

Severus frowned at her. "I rather enjoy figuring you out like a normal human being, but if that was oral consent, consider it duly noted." He smirked at her, and turned off the car.

No sooner had Hermione unbuckled her seatbelt, Severus was already at her door opening it for her. Sometimes she forgot just how powerful he was, and it made her feel a mixture of emotions. Safety, adoration, desire, fear. Never a bad fear, but just enough to keep her on her toes. He led her out of the car and up the walk to the massive mahogany front door. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out his wand and placed the tip against the doorbell. Hermione could feel wards released and the front door swung open. On the other side was a man in his late 50's resting comfortably in a wheelchair.

"Ah, Severus, I've been expecting you."

Hermione followed Severus into the house and watched the door close automatically behind them. The man wheeled himself into the ornately decorated parlor where an enormous tree was decorated with thousands of tiny red stars.

"Please, sit." The man motioned to the loveseat in front of him. "Caroline will be in shortly with some tea."

Hermione sat next to Severus, her own personal guards up despite the fact the dark figure next to her seemed at ease. It was one of the downsides to the War. She didn't trust easily, especially people of whom she didn't even know a first name.

"Ms. Granger. I see you are guarded. Please, relax as it will be most helpful to me." The man smiled warmly at Hermione.

While Hermione began to take off her coat, a tall, dark skinned woman entered holding a tray of tea. Hermione's eyes were instantly drawn to the woman's face and the black patch which covered her left eye. The woman smiled and poured tea for all three of them. After handing the last cup to the man, she kissed his head and exited the room.

"That's Caroline, my wife. She's the very best part of me," the man eye's shifted fondly between Severus and Hermione. Whether or not he had been made privy to the relationship, he clearly knew. He cleared his throat and began to talk.

"I implored Severus to speak as little about this meeting as possible. It makes my job all the more difficult if people have time to prepare."

Hermione furrowed her brow, obviously confused, and the man lifted his hand gently.

"I am William Tagher- you can call me Bill if you'd like. I've known Severus for as long as I can remember. I find people. More specifically, I find people who do not wish to be found, or have become so lost they do not know they need to be found."

Upon hearing this, Hermione closed her eyes. _He's looking for my parents_. She took a big gulp of her tea, and instantly spit it back into the cup. Bill laughed and turned to Severus, "well, it seems you were right! She really is the brightest witch!"

Confused and a bit frightened, Hermione looked wildly between Bill and Severus. Severus merely rolled his eyes.

"Severus told me you'd be able to detect my potion in the tea, but I really wanted to find out for myself! I'm amazed!" He laughed heartily. "I do apologize, but I assure it is nothing toxic. It's to help with the process, so I do need you to finish that." He gestured to the cup. Hermione glared at Severus, but drank deeply.

"Well, you're here to find your parents. Actually, you're here so _I_ can find your parents, but you play an essential role in that, my dear. I've been finding people for as long as I can remember, and I _never_ fail. It may have cost me my legs and my wife her eye, but we never failed. I will not fail this time either, I can assure you. It will take time. It will take patience. Some people took over ten years to find," he saw Hermione's eyes widen, "but I do not think that will be the case here as we are looking for Muggles. Those who took the longest were skilled wizards and witches, and were able to alter the minds of hundreds of people just to stay hidden. Now, to the part you play."

Bill wheeled himself over to the tree. "These are lost souls," he motioned to the stars, "and they are waiting to be found. Some of them know they are lost and some do not. I have a feeling your parents fit in the latter category. The mind is a funny thing. We forget things from mere hours ago, but can remember very vividly a childhood memory. Sometimes flashes of the past can alter the mind, even in those whose minds' have been magically altered."

Hermione was listening intently, studying every word and sentence Bill spoke. She did not notice how carefully Severus was watching her.

"These stars," Bill continued, "are connected to the minds of those whom the lost soul seeks. The tea you drank contained a-," Hermione cut him off.

"Selective memory potion, sir." She blushed. Bill looked stunned and Severus, already proud, was both shocked and aroused. Her intelligence continued to stimulate every part of his being.

"Wel- well. I mean yes, yes of course!" Bill stuttered, "Severus I do believe you misled me a tad. You mentioned brilliance, not _genius."_ Hermione blushed further. "Come here, dear." Bill motioned for her to come towards the tree.

Hesitantly, Hermione picked herself up from the love seat and walked slowly to the tree.

"Now," Bill started, "be very careful to do only as I say. Think of your parents' names. First names, surnames, middle names, maiden names- think of them all. When you are done, give me your left hand."

Hermione's thoughts swirled and she carefully thought of all names associated with her parents. After a brief moment, she gave Bill her hand, and he closed his eyes.

He opened them, "I want you to think of bad memories from your childhood. Be specific. Not spilling milk, things only your parents would remember."

Hermione's thoughts raced again. She vividly remembered being in her parent's office, running, even though they had told her to stop. She knocked down a tray of local anesthetic injections, all of which had to be tossed in the bin. Her parents were so mad. _Hermione Jean Granger_ , they shouted, and she always knew when the middle name was involved that she was in trouble.

She thought again of yelling at her mum when she accidentally left the front door opened, allowing Crookshanks to escape. He hadn't come back for four days. Hermione didn't speak to her mum the entire time, despite her mother's best efforts.

Severus watched as tears fell slowly down her cheeks. He knew better than to interfere with the process, but his heart began to break. He was relieved when she placed her hand in Bill's.

"Lastly, think of something you shared with either of your parents that no one else knows." Bill watched as Hermione closed her eyes for the last time.

Her mind instantly went to one day. She was eighteen and it was the night of her birthday. She was sitting at the kitchen table with mum eating more of her cake. Dad had retired for the evening.

_"You know Hermione, Mrs. Cartway has a lovely young, son. He's studying medicine now and he's very smart," Mrs. Granger spoke through a mouthful of cake._

_"Mum, you know very well I have no interest in boys right now. All they want to do is fool around and believe a woman's position belongs in the kitchen only." Hermione rolled her eyes._

_"Oh child, you mustn't think like that. Don't you want to find someone to love and take care of you? I know things work differently in the magic world, but love is universal, isn't it?" Her mother was frowning._

_"I don't want to find someone because I have to, I want to find someone because I want to. I just don't think I could possibly bear the thought of spending forever with someone who I would have to be different around." Hermione looked down, "I don't think guys want someone smart like me."_

_Mrs. Granger reached for her daughter's hand, "You might do well with someone older, then. Love has no age limit." Her mother smiled at her._

The memory faded and Hermione opened her eyes. She placed her hand in Bill's a final time. He closed his eyes and smiled. While not positive, Hermione had a strange feeling he was reading her memories. She made a mental reminder to herself to inquire this of Severus.

"Very good, dear. These will help tremendously. Now, take the ornament off the tree."

Hermione noticed he said _the_ instead of _an,_ but instinctively, her hand reached for a red star located just below her right knee. She handed it to Bill.

"Thank you," he took the ornament and placed it in his shirt pocket. "Well, that is all for now," he turned to Severus, "I will be in touch. Please see yourselves out." With a curt nod, Bill wheeled himself out of the parlor and out of sight.

As if reading her mind, Severus answered her thought. "He needs to extract the memories as soon as possible so they aren't altered in any way."

Hermione nodded. She reached for her coat and let Severus help her put it on. Once they were dressed for the elements, he led her back to the car. The drive back Severus' house was just as uneventful as the drive to Bill's. Hermione didn't quite know what to say. No one had ever done something this kind for her before. She thought about Severus' gift waiting back at the house and wished it was enough.


	26. Christmas Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams in smut*

Severus pulled into the driveway and noticed a sleeping Hermione in the passenger seat. The memories must have exhausted her, and all he wanted to do was let her sleep, but he had one thought in his mind: _the ring_. He hoped she hadn't noticed, but Severus' mind was elsewhere the entire morning and afternoon because all he could think about was her gift.

His conversation with Dumbledore about the placement of the ring replayed in his head. Severus was still undecided about which finger he would put it on, or whether or not he would just have her do it. _You sound like a teenager, Severus. Get a bloody grip._ He rolled his eyes at himself. If this was the hardest decision he'll ever have to make, then he was in good shape.

Hermione stirred next to him and opened her eyes. "Oh! We're home!" She unbelted herself and quickly reached for the door handle.

"In a rush?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

Hermione smiled, "Obviously."

Severus met Hermione at her door and grabbed her hand, leading her into the house.

Once inside with their jackets off, Severus turned to Hermione, "Are you hungry?"

Hermione laughed, "Severus we just ate only a few hours ago. Besides, I'm saving my appetite for the Christmas feast I know you'll be preparing for us." She motioned towards the beautifully decorated tree, "I think I know something we can do instead."

She flashed a brilliant smile, and Severus was sold. They went back to the tree, where all their presents were still left beautifully unwrapped. One by one, Hermione passed out the gifts. She was quite surprised at the number of gifts for Severus. For someone who had a reputation of being cold and prickly, he certainly had a big enough fan club. Each was grateful for the gifts they received: books, practical clothes, potions ingredients.

But the highlight of the unwrapping happened when Hermione casually opened her gift from Ginny. She was telling Severus a childhood Christmas story and was not paying attention until she pulled apart the tissue paper from the wrapped box. She looked down and immediately tried to recover the gift with the paper. Her face flushed scarlet, and unfortunately, was not hidden from a very observant Severus.

"Something wrong?" He snickered. Hermione shook her head, but with a raise of a perfect eyebrow Severus was able to convince her to show him the gift.

Burning red, Hermione pulled out the most extravagant corset she had ever seen. Not only was it the deepest shade of emerald- a dig, of course- but it was bejeweled with what looked like hundreds, maybe even thousands, of sparkling green crystals. Severus merely smirked at Hermione's embarrassment. It was endearing that she was able to retain some semblance of innocence after her trials and tribulations. Hermione pulled a card from the box:

**_Hermione,_ **

**_Don't kill me, but I saw this and I knew you had to have it. I also knew you'd be so embarrassed when you opened it that Snape would notice and ask to see what it was. I've probably known what's been going on for months now- I won't say anything don't worry- and I wish you didn't have to hide it, but I understand. You both deserve to be happy, but don't tell him I said that! This should help break the ice a little bit, unless it's already been broken!_ **

**_Happy Christmas, Hermione._ **

**_Ginny_ **

If it wasn't for the fact that Hermione and Severus had already "broken the ice," she would have been a lot more embarrassed than she expressed- if that was even possible. It was gorgeous, no doubt, but it was nothing Hermione would ever wear, let alone buy for herself.

It's not that Hermione was plain in her style, but she consistently tried not to direct attention to her body. She wasn't ugly, but she never found herself to be particularly attractive. She chuckled to herself and started to put the garment back in the box, but was prevented when it was removed from her grasp with wandless magic.

It looked odd in Severus' large hands. He ran his fingertips over the neatly placed crystals.

Hermione watched his eyes carefully. She couldn't quite make out what she saw- love? Lust? It was a look that took her back to the darker times, when she saw the hard, carnal looks men would give her while they were on the run. She shivered slightly, which didn't go unnoticed by Severus.

"Something wrong?" He drawled.

Hermione shook her head, wanting him to express his thoughts before she said anything.

He continued and Hermione breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

"There is much we have yet to learn about one another. I hesitate to provide too much too soon." His eyes remained on the garment as he spoke, "I know you are quite aware of the life I've lived before, and I would hate to say anything that would jeopardize our future."

Hermione cocked her head slightly. By the way he was staring at the garment she guessed where this conversation was headed, but remained silent.

"This," he gestured to the garment, "is what was worn by the majority of women we were forced to associate with while under the watch of the Dark Lord. He was adamant that women were to be beautiful and adorned. They were to be viewed as objects to be beholden, and we were only to have the finest of objects."

His eyes remained downward, as if he was embarrassed and ashamed. Hermione listened intently. She was far from judgmental, and really had no interest in learning about his sexual past, but she let him continue.

"I am not an innocent man. I took part in what I needed to in order to protect my role. Those nights- those women- were not what I wanted. Nothing about them attracted me, nothing about them seduced me. This-," he lifted the corset and looked at her for the first time, "-does not make you beautiful. It enhances beauty only when there is beauty to begin with." He placed the corset on the couch next to him.

"I never want you to feel inadequate or not beautiful. You don't need any of that to please me. All I need is you." The sincerity in his eyes was alarming. It was as if he was understanding the relationship for the first time. He wanted her to know that what he loved about her was the very best part of her: _her intellect_.

Hermione smiled slightly. She moved closer to him and placed her chin on his knee. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. Picking her head up, Hermione finally began to speak.

"You never have to explain your past to me. It's a past for a reason. You know I'm not completely innocent either, but things never worked out with anyone else for a reason. To be perfectly honest I never bought things like that," she gestured to the corset, "because I don't like drawing attention to my body."

She moved so her back was facing Severus. "I know you'll disagree, but I'm not someone to be 'beholden'. I'm pretty plain looking, and wearing things that involve too much attention are uncomfortable to me."

As expected, Severus put his hand on her shoulder, "Hermione, look at me." She obliged slowly.

"You are the most beautiful, exquisite woman I have ever met. You are far from plain. Beauty is much more than physical appearance, surely you know that. You would probably give me a heart attack if you put that on, but that's because you regularly take my breath away in your plain attire," he rolled his eyes at the term.

Hermione gave him a half smile. "I know you feel like that, but I haven't felt like that in my life. I suppose I should start working on that."

Severus stroked her face lightly, "I would, unless you would prefer me to force you to wear things of this nature all the time until you believe it." He picked up the corset and handed it back to her.

She took it and placed it back in the box. "Hmm," she pondered, "would wearing these said forced outfits benefit me in any other way?" She smiled coyly.

"Of course," Severus replied, "but, again, you don't need anything to benefit you in that way."

They worked their way through the rest of the gifts without having realized neither had opened each other's. Severus wanted his gift to be last, and was relieved when Hermione placed her small gift in front of him. Severus could sense her nerves, which made him anxious to open the gift even more.

"I took a chance with this," Hermione started, "so I really hope you don't completely hate it."

Severus looked at her, "I would never hate anything you give me, dear."

For the thirty seconds it took to get the paper and ribbon off the box, Hermione waited with bated breath. If someone told her it took him an eternity to unwrap that gift, she would have believed it.

Severus open the box and stared at the pendant, eyes wide. He pulled it out and watched the edge of the stone turn from green to a brilliant deep red.

Hermione moved closer, "Oh wow! That's amazing! How wonderful is that. It's like a mood ring!"

Severus looked at her quizzically, then realized she had no idea what the stone was. He played along.

"A 'mood ring'?" He drawled.

Hermione's eyes brightened, as she always loved explaining Muggle items to Severus.

"A mood ring is a stone that changes colors based on the wearer's mood. Each color represents a mood." She touched the pendant carefully. "The man at the store said it was a fire emerald, and rare, but he didn't say anything about changing colors."

She moved her eyes to his, but he was still enthralled with the pendant. "Hermione, this is exquisite. I do not know what to say."

"Well," she started, "do you like it?!" Her eyes began searching his face for an answer. Severus realized his reaction was probably not as emotive as she would have liked it to be.

"I do. This is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I will treasure it always." He placed the pendant around his neck, and to Hermione's surprise he did not tuck it under his collar. The stone was magnificent against his black sweater.

Hermione approached him and sat next to him. She fingered the pendant, "I'm so happy you like it. I was so nervous. It's incredibly difficult buying for someone who has everything."

He grabbed her hand and kissed it tenderly, "I only just acquired everything."

Hermione blushed, and silently wondered how long it would take for her to get used to his compliments.

"Now," Severus moved slightly and picked up a small present from the table in front of them. Hermione hadn't noticed it there before.

Severus placed a small maroon gift adorned with a deep emerald ribbon into her hands. It was an obvious tribute to their different Houses. She smiled, and began opening the box. Severus' eyes never left hers.

Hermione removed the last bit of paper and looked at the small box. Severus sensed a slight hesitation before she opened the box and gasped.

Inside was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. Despite the fact that she never wore any, she secretly loved jewelry. There was something about owning a piece made within the depths of the earth that excited her.

She carefully removed the ring from the box and studied it. The emerald was stunning, and the diamonds were flawless. Severus let out a sigh of relief when she placed it on her right ring finger, but there was something else that caught his attention. He stared at the stone intently, but it remained green.

Hermione stood up and stretched her arm out in front of her. She gazed at the ring and smiled.

"Severus, this is the most amazing piece I have ever seen. This emerald is radiant. I don't know what to say," tears began to well in her eyes.

Severus fought hard to control his confusion and frustration.

"It is the most perfect piece for the most perfect woman," he stood up and took her right hand. He kissed it slowly, and took another glance at the stone: _green._ There was no mistake. There was no red to be found around the stone. He released her hand and fingered his pendant. The ruby border remained. Hermione threw her arms around him and buried her head in his arms.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she hugged him tightly. "Now I have something to keep you close by even when we're apart."

Severus kissed her head and looked into her eyes, "I love you, Hermione."

"I love you too, Severus. You have made my life so much better. Thank you."

There was nothing in her eyes that indicated she wasn't speaking from her heart. Hermione loved him. And he loved Hermione. But what was the difference between their love? Why was his pendant showing that he felt that love, but her ring was not?

His distraction was not lost on Hermione.

"What's wrong?" She searched his face carefully.

He gave her a half smirk, "Nothing, I'm just thinking about how much you mean to me and how happy I am you like the ring."

By some miracle, she bought the lie and smiled warmly at him.

"I don't _like_ it Severus, I love it. But not as much as I love you." She moved closer and reached up to touch his face. "Will you kiss me?"

Her voice was barely a whisper. Severus didn't bother to respond, he obliged immediately. His lips crushed hers with a ferocity that surprised Hermione, and she responded instantly.

He pulled her closer, and held on to her as if she was leaving him.

His love for her was growing every day and the desperation he felt seeing her ring remain green scared him. How could he possibly continue as if nothing was wrong whilst knowing about the properties of the stones? He pulled away and presented a strained smile.

"Shall we eat?"

The time was lost on Hermione. She could not believe it was almost six o'clock, nor could she believe just how hungry she was.

"Oh Severus, we've spent far too much time here. How are you going to cook now?!" Severus chuckled at how adorably concerned she was.

"Everything is already set." He took her hand and led her into the kitchen.

Hermione gaped at the scene before her. The table was full. She shouldn't have been as amazed as she was, but Severus never ceased to amaze her. Sometimes she forgot just how powerful he was. That thought made her spine tingle. She didn't care about power herself, but knowing how strong and intelligent he was made her weak. Where girls her age were supposed to be into 'hot guys' and cars, the fact that Severus could overwhelm anyone who stood in his way made her feel something she couldn't describe.

Hermione's mind soared for just a split second before she remembered his presence and was instantly brought back to the lavish feast set up before them.

As usual, her momentary daydream did not go unnoticed by the Potions Master. He watched her intently, desperately wishing he could read her mind. She glanced at him, "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to take this all in." She blushed.

Whatever it was she was thinking about, Severus knew her blushes only occurred when she was thinking about him. He did not question her, but grabbed a bottle of wine from the counter and showed her the label.

"Is this satisfactory?" He drawled.

Hermione scrutinized the label for longer than normal before she looked up, and with a grin, responded, "I know nothing about wine. Sounds good."

Severus rolled his eyes and wandlessly popped the cork. He poured her a glass and led her to the table, which was full of the most incredible Christmas delicacies. Hermione could hardly believe her eyes. She drank deeply. Severus was in for a real treat if she didn't monitor her consumption carefully. Red wine was her weakness. She loved the stuff to death, but it seemed to be the only alcohol that made her drunk. And of course, it was the best she had ever had. She made a mental note to cap at three, but only if she ate enough first.

She followed him to the table slowly and noticed the two place settings each at either head of the table. She laughed, "Severus, surely you don't think I'm going to sit that far away from you." She grabbed the place setting from the end opposite to where Severus was to sit and put it next to him.

His heart burst. The inner tension was killing him. At that point he decided if nothing happened to her ring before the end of the night, he was going to say something. He nodded slowly at her, not trusting his voice to give his anxiety away.

They ate in comfortable silence sprinkled with bursts of conversation about current events, Severus' newest potions, Hermione's weakness for red wine (which was followed by a fit of giggles), and how much she once adored the holidays.

"This has to be the best Christmas I have had in a very long time, Severus. Thank you." Her face was the lushest shade of red.

Severus couldn't decide if it was from the wine, or other thoughts she was having.

"It was hard going to the Weasley's because they all had someone. After Ron and I decided to just stay friends, it was like I became the one everybody was sorry for." She hiccupped, covered her mouth and laughed.

"I know Mrs. Weasley tried to play mum to me, but it was usually speeches about learning to cook more so I could find a suitable husband." She laughed again. Severus raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"I mean, can you imagine me- marrying someone who only cared about what I could make in the kitchen? I'll tell you what I'd make," she paused.

Severus poured her some more wine, and put another roll on her plate. She picked it up and started eating it.

Mouth full, she continued, "well not these because I was never able to get the hang of making bread. But, I'd make him cook for me!" This time her laughter was uncontrollable. "Oh wait that doesn't make sense." She drank deeply from her wine glass. "If I was cooking for you, I would make you everything you wanted because you deserve it and you respect me and see me more than just a female."

She stopped and looked seriously at her glass, "I need to stop drinking before I lose my focus."

Severus cocked his head, "what are you focusing on, love?"

Hermione set the glass down, "oh it's nothing, just uh- a figure of speech?" Severus did not buy that lie one bit.

He filed that in the back of his mind to question at another time. She looked up at the clock resting on the mantle behind Severus. It was well after eleven.

"I could sit here and talk all night with you, Severus. Did you know that?" She hiccupped again.

Severus chuckled lightly, "As could I, but might I guess you are tired from today's events?" Hermione hadn't thought about it, but exhaustion hit her all at once. The meeting, the gifts, the wine- she was spent, but she had one gift left.

She placed her hand on his, "Severus, I have one more thing I want to give you."

"Oh?" He questioned. He watched her flash a smile, and prayed silently that she was referring to the gift of herself.

She rose from her chair and held her hand out for him to take, which he did. She led him upstairs and into the bedroom.

Once inside, she faced him and breathed deeply. "Okay, don't go anywhere," she giggled as she left the room. Prepared for her to ravage him, Severus sighed when she left.

After ten minutes, Severus debated going after Hermione to make sure she hadn't fallen asleep on her way to do whatever it was she was doing. In the midst of his struggle, he heard a soft knock at the door frame.

Hermione's head peeked around the corner.

"Is everything alright, Hermione?" Severus questioned with a sigh.

With a flushed face, Hermione moved into the doorway. She had on the corset gifted by Ginny, and she looked radiant. The mixture of the green crystals and the blush in her face made Severus instantly hard.

He walked slowly toward her and gently moved her some of her curls behind her neck. He kissed the spot just below her ear tenderly. She moaned.

"You are beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "The most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

Hermione snorted, still feeling the effects of the wine. Severus grabbed her face with his hand forcefully, but gently, and stared into her eyes.

"I am a man of my word. Your radiance goes far beyond your physical beauty. It starts in here," he placed his hand on her head, "goes here," he seductively trailed his finger down the side of her face to her heart, just barely brushing the top of her breasts, "and _ends_ here." He dragged his finger slowly down the center of her chest to her private area, where he slipped a finger inside to gauge her wetness.

As predicted, she was ready. He carefully moved his finger over her swollen clit and flicked it. She moaned. He needed her.

Without a word, he lifted her up and carried her to the bed. Wanting this moment to last as long as possible, he opted for removing the corset without magic.

Every hook he undid he surprised her with a kiss, a flick, or a lick. By the time he had finished the last hook, Hermione's eyes were wild. Severus carefully moved the corset, and placed himself above her. She looked at him with such need that he didn't say anything, but pounded himself into her unexpectedly.

The feeling drove him crazy. It was even better than he remembered from the first night. He thrust himself deeply into her before pulling out quickly.

Hermione threw herself up to see what was the matter, only to find him with a hand over her stomach mumbling softly. She relaxed and waited a half second more before his cock was deep inside her again.

The feeling was incredible. He knew exactly what to do to push her to the point of euphoria, and this time he was not stopping.

Severus pounded her hard and fast. While he enjoyed slow love making, seeing her wrapped in green made him crazy. He knew she enjoyed a rough fuck because she screamed for him not to stop. So he didn't.

He took out the frustration of the ring on her at that moment. Visions of her leaving him filled his mind. Whispers that she didn't love him anymore began to play in his head. With every terrible thought, he drove his hard cock into her with no mercy. Her screams and moans mixed with the falsities in his mind and he wasn't brought back to the moment until he sensed a wetness that could only mean her body had finally released in orgasm.

Not wanting to be far behind, Severus looked into her eyes and was able to finish shortly after. She moaned. Afraid he had hurt her, he carefully pulled out and kissed her head.

"Too much?" He asked meekly. Hermione turned her head slowly, "had I known outfits would provide that kind of sex, I would have worn them a long time ago." Severus let out a sigh of relief. He was glad she enjoyed it, but he felt guilty for using her body as an outlet for relieving his anger.

She spoke quietly, "Severus, you will never cease to amaze me. You make me feel things I have never felt before. The love I feel for you scares me at times." She closed her eyes. Severus moved some unruly curls from her face.

"You have nothing to fear, Hermione. You know how I feel. It calms me to know you feel the same." While he spoke with confidence, inside he knew he was anything but calm.

Hermione leaned over and kissed him sweetly. She got up and walked into the bathroom. Severus heard the door shut, and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't possibly ruin the night now by interrogating her on the degree of her love for him. He sighed and followed suit into the bathroom.

Once settled comfortably into bed, Severus grabbed hold of Hermione and pulled her to his chest.

"Severus?" Hermione was barely coherent from wine and lack of sleep, "Yes?" Severus replied.

"I love you, Severus." She grabbed his arm, which was draped across her body, and interlaced their fingers. She yawned, and before he could respond, she was asleep. "I love you more than you know," he whispered into her ear.

He closed his eyes and wished for sleep, but eventually found himself staring into the darkness.

* * *

Severus looked at the clock on the stand nearest to Hermione. It was almost three in the morning. He sighed. Working slowly, he began to move his arm away from the sleeping woman. He kept some vials of Dreamless Sleep in his nightstand for this very reason, and he desperately needed to rest his mind.

He carefully unlaced their hands one finger at a time. Dreading the ring finger because of the thoughts he'd inevitable began thinking, he glanced over for a final look.

His eyes grew wide in disbelief.

There, as clear as anything, was what he had been longing for: the reddish glow of her fire emerald.


	27. Cold as Severus

The sun shone brightly through the giant windows in Severus' master bedroom on Boxing Day.

He replayed the events of Christmas Day in his head over and over again: the pendant, the ring, the corset. He glanced over at the woman sleeping peacefully next to him. He sat up quietly to take a peek at her hand, and noticed the ring still maintained its red glow. Severus was unsure why it took so long to see the illumination, but the answer no longer meant much to him now that he had seen it. He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, listening to the slow breaths of Hermione. It was hard to believe their week was almost at an end. He cherished the time they spent together, and would certainly miss seeing her each hour of the day.

Over the past few days, Severus became painfully aware that he did not have a clue about many of the hardships Hermione had faced during the War, and truthfully, he never once considered asking about them. He figured if her past was important to their relationship, then she would share them on her terms. Just the same, Severus had already made a silent vow with himself that he would only share the bare minimum of his past. That was something he needn't trouble her with.

Severus frowned. _His past._ His past was forever causing problems for his future, and he found it hard to believe it had not yet interfered with this relationship. Maybe it was because they understood many of the pains each had suffered at the hands of the Dark Lord, or maybe it was because they were intellectually similar. Regardless, sometimes it felt like a struggle to maintain a sense of normalcy without triggering an episode of anger or grief. The focus Severus had to consistently maintain over the past four months had been excruciating. He did not mind it, of course, but he did wonder what toll it could take on the future of their relationship. To be constantly guarded could not end well. Severus struggled with those thoughts. He hated to admit that he still felt a sense of uncertainty being in a relationship despite having told Hermione he would always be honest with her. _Focus._ Severus closed his eyes. He remembered the curious statement Hermione made last night while eating dinner.

_"I need to stop drinking before I lose my focus."_

Severus opened his eyes. _What an odd statement to make_ , he thought. _Why would she be concerned about losing her focus?_ Severus turn to watch the sleeping woman, who stirred at his movement. She turned over to face him, her right arm sprawled out in front of her. Severus blinked. The ring stared at him, almost tauntingly. There was no more red. He touched it gently, which prompted Hermione to open her eyes. She smiled sleepily, and then slowly closed her eyes.

Severus sighed. He turned to the nightstand on his left and glanced at his pendant. Much of the red was gone, but as soon as he brushed his fingers over the stone, that red fire returned. He knew physical contact with the stone enacted much of its properties, but he knew little else about the magic of the stone. At this point, the only pattern he identified was that Hermione's stone seemed to show its red when she was sleeping. Severus mulled over that thought for just a minute before he snapped his head towards the woman. _Focus. Sleep. This woman is guarded._ He looked once more at the ring: _green._ Severus thought about his next action for just a second, so as not to lose his nerve.

" _Specialis revelio_ ," he whispered.

Within seconds, Severus saw a faint white illumination cover Hermione's body. _A protective charm_.

Severus crossed his arms. Hermione had been using a protective charm this entire time to shield her from whatever it was she thought she needed shielding from. Of course, she couldn't lose her focus, she needed it to maintain the spell.

Severus didn't know how to feel at this moment. Anger, sadness, frustration- they all crossed his mind, but one seemed to stick the most in his mind: _betrayal._ They had made promises to one another that they would always be honest. Hermione had said things that made him feel as if he was the only person she trusted. She claimed to love him. _What kind of love is this?_ Severus scoffed to himself. If there was anything Severus was good at, it was being cold and he knew if he wasn't careful, he would push her away with that part of his personality. But how could he pretend everything was fine when he knew that she was hiding from him? There was no easy answer to this predicament, in fact, there was no answer at all. There was no way he could confront her because then he'd have to admit he used magic on her without consent. And if he was cold to her, she would probably feel worse than she clearly does now. _Well, Severus, what did you expect? Someone to actually trust a former Death Eater? Maybe this is moving too fast_ , he wondered. There was little doubt in his mind that anyone with knowledge of their relationship would agree with that. Truthfully, _he_ agreed with that. He wanted the physical aspect of their relationship to come when they had built a relationship based on emotional trust and respect. If it wasn't for Hermione's first move, he never would have dared bringing sex into their relationship so soon. He cared about the long term too much. _Maybe I care about the long term more than she does_ … he wondered silently. They never actually ever discussed the long term in a serous manner. He told her that any major change in his life would be permanent at this point, but she seemed to be fine with that. Then again, she had also been guarding herself. Severus groaned in frustration. Nothing ever seemed to stay simple for him. Sighing, as if acknowledging defeat, he got out of bed and made his way downstairs.

* * *

Hermione opened her eyes. She stretched her arms over her head and smiled at the bright sun. There were some days she couldn't believe she ever took sleeping in a bed for granted. Being on the run during the War had many downsides, and sleeping in a tent was one of them. She looked at the empty spot next to her and frowned. She was getting used to early mornings spent together in bed, and found she missed his presence more than usual. She sat up, and placed a large pillow in her lap. Her hands rested naturally on the top, each facet of her ring catching the bright sun. She touched the sharp corners of the stone gently. It really was the most amazing gift she had ever received. She never would have admitted it, but she was quite shocked Severus decided to go with a ring. While not a big jewelry wearer, she figured she would eventually wear a ring. _That_ ring. Maybe. _Someday._ Truthfully, Hermione had never really thought about marriage most because at one point in her life she wasn't sure she would be alive to be married. In fact, she never considered it again until Severus. She knew it was much too early to even think about it, but the mere thought that she could spend the rest of her life with someone like him made her worries disappear. Hermione had not forgotten about the challenges they would face once they revealed their relationship to the outside world, but she took comfort knowing they would face them together.

The smell of fresh coffee disrupted her thoughts. She smiled again, hopped out of bed and made her way downstairs. When she reached the bottom of the stair case, she stopped. Severus was standing in the kitchen, staring out the window. She could tell he was deep in thought. So many times, she wished desperately to know what went through his mind during these moments he had. Without thinking, a thought crossed her mind. _I wish, just once, I knew what he was thinking_. Instantaneously, her hand went to her mouth as Severus turned to stare at her. _Of course, he could feel the magic_ , she chided herself, silently.

"I'm sorry, Severus," she spoke softly. "I promise, it just slipped. You know I would never use magic on you."

Severus could see the fear in her eyes. "I was thinking about the future of our relationship," he said, briskly. There was little emotion in his voice. Hermione winced. She watched him move to the counter and pick up an envelope.

"This arrived for you just this morning," he wandlessly sent the letter across the room to where Hermione remained on the stairs. "Thanks," she whispered. She knew there was something bothering him, but she also knew that it was best to leave him alone. She opened the letter:

**_Hermione-_ **

**_I hope this letter finds you well. I was really hoping you would reconsider coming out here for a day before school starts up again. There is something I have to talk about with you in person. Let me know._ **

**_-Ginny_ **

Hermione descended down the last few steps and into the kitchen. She placed the letter on the counter and walked toward Severus tentatively. Not wanting to increase his agitation, she gently put her hand on his forearm and mustered a soft, "Good morning, Severus." Without looking at her, Severus gave her a curt, "good morning." Hermione quietly made her way to the coffee pot and poured herself a mug full. She walked back to Severus and stood next to him. Hermione and Severus stood in tense silence for what seemed like an eternity. The silence was only disrupted by a small barn owl tapping furiously at the window near the front door. The bird startled Hermione, who then realized it was Ginny waiting for a response. Unsure of what that day was to bring, she wrote a short reply:

**_Ginny-_ **

**_I'll be there tomorrow._ **

**_-Hermione_ **

Hermione neatly folded her note, opened the door, and gave it to the small owl. Unsure of how to handle the tension in the room, she slipped on her boots and stepped outside.

* * *

It was cold for December. Bitter, really. The type of cold that burns your nose after only a few minutes. The snow was just beginning to stick to the ground, and was only lightly falling. Hermione spotted a small bench in the distance and made her way in its direction. She allowed herself to feel the bitterness without the help of a warming charm. There was something about a cold winter morning that made her reminisce of her old life. The life with her parents. Her mum's favorite part of the winter was a brisk, snowy morning and a hot coffee. Hermione allowed herself a small smile, as a tear fell from her eye. She wiped its remnants, and sat on the bench.

Severus' castle was miles from another house, so her view was vacant land and snowy trees in the distance ahead of her.

She wondered if life would be any different if her parents were still around. _Would they have convinced her to take a ministry job? Would she have returned to Hogwarts? Would they have approved of Severus?_ Severus. Hermione lowered her face into her hands. _What have I done?_ He was different this morning. Something in him changed overnight, and she had no idea what it was. He was, _cold._ She shuddered at the thought. The warmth he had provided her with felt like distant memory. She hugged herself tightly, feeling the ring press into the side of her arm. For some reason the sensation made her feel strangely alone. _Why would he give me such a gift if he didn't think his feelings were real?_ Hermione was convinced Severus' feelings were fading, or he was beginning to question them.

" _I was thinking about the future of our relationship."_

She replayed his earlier words in her mind and what they meant. What possibly could have made him question their relationship? Hermione wracked her brain trying to recall even the slightest thing that would give her a clue as to the reasoning behind his current state. She could think of nothing, so she stopped and watched the snow collect on a nearby pine tree.

After several minutes, she was startled by the feeling of cashmere. Severus stood behind her silently, wrapping her in a blanket. "I do not think you wish to become ill before returning to school," he drawled. He placed a hand on her cheek, "Hermione, you're freezing." He muttered a warming charm over her, and took a seat beside her. After what seemed like ages, Hermione broke the silence.

"Severus, if this isn't what you want, please don't allow yourself to feel obligated to stay with me." Her words were as sharp as the frigid air. "I'm not stupid, I know there is something that is bothering you. I won't make you tell me what it is, but if you're already thinking about the future of our relationship, you should at least be honest with me."

Despite feeling the effects of the warming charm, she pulled the blanket tighter around her. She looked up at Severus. His face seemed emotionless, which caused her to lose hope in the conversation. Wordlessly, Severus reached for her right hand, and fingered the ring between his fingers. He looked down at it and closed his eyes. Frustrated, Hermione pulled her hand away from his grasp.

His silence was making her angry, especially when she knew she had done nothing wrong. She stood up and started to walk back to the castle. She made it a few steps before she stopped and turned back toward Severus. "Because you're so keen on thinking about our relationship, you should also think about how you should communicate those thoughts with me." Severus continued to stare straight ahead. With a huff, Hermione turned back around and made her way into the castle.

Left on the bench, Severus reached into his pocket and pulled out the pendant. Despite the coldness he felt, and as hard as he tried to will it away, there was no denying the fact that the stone was glowing as brightly as ever. He gently put it around his neck and tucked it into his sweater. He rose and slowly returned to the castle to confront Hermione.


	28. The Confrontation

Severus made his way back into the house and shut the door. He stomped the snow from his boots, and removed them slowly. Walking into the kitchen, he noticed Hermione was nowhere to be found. _The library,_ he figured. He climbed the stairs, and took a deep breath. Confrontation was definitely his strong suit, but not with someone like Hermione. He did not want to hurt her, but his concerns about their relationship were serious. Then there was the obvious issue that he had used magic on her, which was bound to make her angry.

He entered the library and found Hermione reading quietly near the fireplace. She looked up at him, and went right back to reading. Severus glanced at the title: _Potions and Problems: The Masters' Guide_. His heart lurched. She would not be reading anything she was not interested in, and he knew that potions had quickly become one of her favorite subjects. To know that she was interested in his interests thrilled him.

Sometimes he pictured what the future could be: the two of them brewing side by side, experimenting, teaching one another, learning from one another. He may be _the_ Potions Master, but there were still many things he could learn from Hermione. _Patience_ was one of those things. _Maybe you should practice it now_ , he joked to himself.

Severus walked to the arm chair opposite to where Hermione was sitting, and sat down.

"Hermione," he drawled slowly.

Hermione glanced up at him. "Oh, now you want to talk to me?" she replied bitterly.

Severus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Control your anger,_ he reminded himself.

"Hermione," he continued, "is there anything you wish to tell me?" Severus thought that if he played things coy, maybe she would realize he knew something.

He was mistaken.

"Tell you about what?" she replied sharply.

It was obvious she had no idea what he was talking about, so he was going to have to either drag it out of her, or admit what he knew. Of course, dragging it out of her was his first choice.

"Do you really believe you love me after being with me for such a short amount of time?" Severus' words were spoken with so little emotion that Hermione had no idea what point he was getting at by asking them.

Her expression went wild, "Severus, what?!" She stood up quickly and slammed the book on the chair. She winced at how disrespectful that action may have come across as. Severus paused. It was obvious Hermione was about to continue speaking.

"I knew something was wrong, and I've been torturing myself all day long trying to come up with _something_ I could have possibly done to offend you, or to hurt you- but I have no idea what. However, I will say this. If you think I only just starting loving you within the past four months, you are mistaken. If you want to talk about when I first realized I had feelings for you then we'll have to go back years." Hermione watched his eyebrows raise. "Yes, Severus- _years,"_ she responded to his obviously shocked features.

"I don't know what has upset you, but I do know that if we are going to be in a relationship, then we need to be honest with one another- about everything. So, if there is something _you_ wish to tell _me,_ then I suggest you do so because I am thoroughly confused." She crossed her arms, and stared at him from behind the arm chair.

Severus took a deep breath, "Hermione, have you been maintaining a protective charm over yourself?"

Hermione didn't need to answer because the look in her eyes said everything. She sucked air through her teeth, and turned around, no longer wanting to face him.

"I just want to know _why._ I was under the impression we were able to trust one another implicitly, so you can only imagine my hurt and confusion upon realizing that maybe you have not been honest with me." Severus stared at the back of her head, hoping she would turn around to look at him.

The silence that followed his words seemed to last an eternity.

When Hermione finally spoke, her voice was strained. "Did you use magic on me?"

"Yes," Severus replied bluntly. "And I apologize for doing so, but why was I left feeling that doing so was the only way I could understand you?"

Hermione spun around, "Do _not_ blame this on me, Severus. I can't believe you would do that. You had no right."

The tone in her voice made him feel vulnerable. He was not used to being wrong, especially by someone so much younger than him. He needed to change his approach if he was going to salvage this relationship.

Severus got up from his chair and walked to Hermione, placing his hands on each of her shoulders.

Staring into her eyes, he began to speak, "Hermione, please. Why are you unable to be completely open with me? How are we to have a relationship if you are hiding things from me?" His tone softened, causing much of the tension in Hermione's shoulders to disappear.

He continued, "why do you feel the need to protect yourself from me?" Hermione's eyes saddened at his words. Her visible anger had disappeared, and Severus could tell she had become upset at his words.

"Severus, I've been maintaining this charm for almost two years. If you want the honest truth, it has become so second nature that I do it out of habit."

She stopped abruptly and stared into his eyes, "I wish you would use Legilimency to find out the truth of the protective charm."

She glared at Severus, and raised one perfect eyebrow at him. He sighed, but knew he had no choice.

Hermione could instantly feel his presence in her mind.

_Hermione was standing in Ginny's room with a red party dress on, fixing her hair. It was Bill and Fleur's wedding. "Hermione, are you coming?!" Ginny yelled from downstairs. "In a minute!" Hermione replied. Hermione looked at herself in the mirror and mouthed an incantation, "protego adfectus."_

The scene morphed into darkness.

_Hermione was alone in a tent. Harry called to her from outside, "'Mione, are you ready?" "Just about!" Hermione responded. She grabbed her beaded bag, and began mumbling, "Protego adfectus, protego adfectus..."_

Again, Severus was plunged into darkness.

_Hermione was studying alone in her dormitory. She was interrupted by a soft knock at her door. It was Ginny. "Are you ready to head out?" the red head questioned. Hermione gave a small smile, "be right there!" Ginny exited the room. Hermione grabbed her scarf and immediately began to whisper her protective charm._

Severus was transported to a final memory. This time, the scene before him was familiar.

_Hermione was standing in front of the master bathroom in Severus' castle, clothed in a deep green teddy. She brushed out her curls, and spritzed her neck with perfume. Seemingly satisfied with her appearance, she starting muttering an incantation._

Severus pulled himself from Hermione's mind. Despite the fact that she forced him to invade her memories, he felt uncomfortable. He never wanted to use magic on her, regardless of whether she asked him to or not.

He not only felt uncomfortable, but he felt ashamed. It was bad enough that he had treated her poorly, but he did so without asking for an explanation. _Always quick to assume the worst_ , _Severus,_ he chided himself silently.

He reached for Hermione's hand and motioned for her to sit in the empty arm chair. Instantly, the second chair moved so it was next to her. Severus sat in it, never letting go of her hand.

"I never should have use magic on you without your consent," he started. "I acknowledge that was wrong of me, and I ask for your forgiveness." Hermione gave a small nod.

He continued, "You are correct. I should have come to you with my questions and concerns directly. I supposed I could blame that on my personality and how I am used to acting, but that does not excuse the behavior." He sighed.

"The only reason I suspected a charm was because of _that,"_ he motioned to the green ring on her finger.

Hermione rolled her eyes in disbelief, "this _ring_ alerted you to a protective charm?" she questioned sarcastically.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Not quite," he replied.

He let go of her hand and pulled the pendant out from under his sweater. Hermione noticed the reddish glow.

"I'm not sure if you realized this, Hermione, but we essentially bought one another the same gift." Hermione cocked her head confusingly.

Severus continued, "these are both fire emeralds. Did you know that?" Hermione shook her head. "Aside from its development inside volcanic rock, it received that name because the edge of the stone turns red whenever the wearer feels love."

Severus removed the pendant and placed it on the side table next to them. Within a minute, the red disappeared, leaving the brilliant green stone.

Hermione looked down at her ring. There was no denying, it was pure green. She took it off and stared intently at it. She looked up at Severus and whispered, "Severus, I wasn't lying. I love you. You _know_ I love you, and I think that's what made this situation so hard for me to comprehend. How could you really think I didn't?" She slipped the ring back onto her finger. Severus reached for that hand.

"I became suspicious when it didn't glow the first time you put it on. I wondered if there was something wrong with the stone, and I tried to put it out of my mind. But then last night, when you were fast asleep, I saw it. The red _was_ there. It wasn't until you woke up that I noticed the red was gone. It did not take long for me to figure out that you are most relaxed when you're sleeping. And then I recalled your curious statement at dinner about not wanting to lose your focus." His eyes moved from the ring to Hermione's face. "And then I made the choice to reveal any charms you may be using."

To his surprise, Hermione lifted a hand to his face. The small moment of intimacy calmed him.

"Severus, I can't promise you that I'll dispose of my old ways immediately, but I _can_ promise you that it has nothing to do with you. I have never felt safer than I do with you, and if you want to talk about our relationship, then we should." She dropped her hand from his face.

Severus grabbed her other free hand, and held them. "While I do believe that we should discuss a future at some point," he uttered, "I think we can forfeit that conversation today." He kissed her hands.

Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She allowed a feeling of relief to overcome her, and broke through the ward. When she opened her eyes, she looked down at her hand and smiled. Her fire emerald maintained a steady red glow.

She leaned in and kissed Severus deeply. When she broke the kiss, she chuckled. "You know Severus, I anticipate we are going to have times when we disagree with one another, and we may argue, but that doesn't mean my feelings will change. I _am_ sorry I have been shielding myself from powerful emotions. I truly believed you were able to see through my actions that I meant every word I have said, because I do."

Severus questioned Hermione, "why did you feel the need to shield yourself?"

Hermione shrugged. "I think you said it best, 'feelings make you appear weak,' so I wanted to eliminate that weakness as much as I could in case we were captured before the War. Little good it did me, I suppose," she scoffed. She touched the scar on her arm through her sweater.

"Hermione, however you reacted to that terror, I assure you it did not make you appear weak. And if it affects you so much, surely you know there is a potion that could eliminate your scars."

She looked at him in surprise. "Severus, you know Dark Magic has its limits. There's no going back from it." He gave his signature smirk, "I do believe you forget who I once was. It's not an easy potion, but I believe you could do it, if you wanted."

Hermione rolled up her sleeve. Although faded, the word still pieced her mind as if it had just been cut: _mudblood._

"I don't know. Sometimes I hate it, but other times it reminds me of what we had to do to be able to live freely. Also, I'm not ashamed, Severus. My parents may not have been magical, but they were amazing."

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them quickly, "argh, I'm sorry. I really am so tired of crying, Severus. I'm so tired of being upset over something I did to myself. I had the choice not to obliviate them, but I also could not have lived with myself if I had known they were harmed because of me."

Severus turned away awkwardly, an action that did not go unnoticed by Hermione. "What is it Severus?"

"I can assure you that you made the right choice to obliviate them," he stated.

Hermione sighed. She understood what that meant.

"Well, Severus, knowing that, even if we are unable to reverse the spell, I know I saved their lives. I can live with that." She mustered a small smile.

"Anyway," she continued, "not trying to change the subject, but I'm going to be leaving you for the day tomorrow. Ginny claims she has something she needs to discuss with me in person." Severus raise his eyebrows. "Honestly, I have no idea what it could be about," she laughed, "considering I'm fairly sure she has some idea about us, so she would never bring it up unless I did."

Hermione saw Severus tense. "Hermione, I-"

Hermione held up a hand to stop him, "I haven't said a word Severus. Ginny is probably the most perceptive Weasley of the bunch. I know how you feel about them, but give her credit. I think she got most of the talent. And," she went on, despite his protests, "even if she _did_ know, I trust her implicitly."

Severus sighed, "if you insist." He stood up, "of course you may come and go as you please, Hermione. You are my guest. But I do appreciate you letting me know. I think that will work quite well, as there has been something regarding your apprenticeship that I've been meaning to handle." He reached for her hand. She took it, and he helped her up.

She leaned in for a hug, and Severus gave it willingly. He allowed himself to completely melt into her arms. Though difficult, he was glad they had this conversation, because if their relationship was going to work, both of them needed to be vulnerable.


	29. A Visit With the Weasleys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it's all here now! Update planned for this weekend! Thanks for reading. xx

Hermione woke with the sun the next morning. She turned slowly and looked at the man sleeping peacefully next to her. She recounted the events from the day before. While she never would have said anything, it seemed strange that Severus did not just _demand_ an answer from her regarding the protective charm.

In fact, _Professor Snape_ would have all but dumped Veritaserum down her throat to get some answers. His interesting change in personality had not been lost on the witch. In fact, she was surprised just how calm he was able to be.

 _Maybe I'm not the only one using magic,_ she joked to herself.

Their conversation was difficult, and Hermione had a hard time forgetting how he accused her of not being honest with him.

She knew they were going to have difficulties with the relationship, but she didn't expect them to happen so soon.

 _How naive can you get_ , she thought, rolling her eyes.

Difficulties were exactly what she should have expected when dealing with the most difficult person she had ever met. Despite knowing that, she was always drawn to him.

The sharpness of his features and personality comforted her, which seemed crazy. Maybe it was because she craved order? Or because she had the same low tolerance for stupidity? One would think that every girl's dream man would be tender and romantic, but Severus was practical and blunt, and it drove Hermione crazy.

Still, she couldn't help but wonder whether his sudden reservations had anything to do with her. She thought about what would happen if _she_ ever tried using magic on Severus without asking him.

She chuckled to herself, _he'd probably know before I even got the spell out_.

No, she wouldn't use magic, but she would need to figure out whether he was being the _real_ Severus, unhindered by the thoughts and opinions of everyone around him, or if he was being the Severus he _thought_ Hermione wanted him to be.

She frowned at that thought. It was true, Severus had never been particularly kind to Hermione at Hogwarts, but his mannerisms and the way he presented himself made her respect him. Where most people feared him, Hermione did not. What was there to fear? His intellect? His talent? His pointedness?

Hermione half wished she had his parts of his personality. Not the unkindness, but the ability to not care about what others thought about her. Severus knew what people called him behind his back, and he knew the terrible things they said about him, but he didn't care. And even if he did care, Hermione was certain the opinion of a lazy first year was of no consequence to him.

If only she had a sliver of his ability to remain unfazed, she might have had an easier time during the first years of school. She shuddered. The first years of school, even with Harry and Ron, were terrible. People either wanted to be her friend so she could help them with their coursework, or they wanted to make fun of her. There was hardly ever a middle ground.

Even as an adult, Severus had to endure ridicule from people because he reveled in being smart. He never had to flaunt his intelligence because he was never trying to prove anything to anyone. Hermione guessed that's how they were similar.

She didn't "know" everything to prove to everyone that she did; she genuinely loved learning. She couldn't care less if someone was bothered by her intellect because at the end of the day, it was the one thing no one could take from her.

Hermione sighed and snuck out of bed, wanting to make sure Severus continued to sleep. She planned on meeting Ginny early so they could have as much time as possible together. She wondered what was so important that Ginny could not have put in a letter, or waited until they got back to Hogwarts. Regardless, she could use some time with another girl.

It was hard enough that she didn't have a mum to reach out to, but she had few female friends to turn to for relationship advice. She was relieved that Ginny seemed to know about Severus, because she could really use an outsider's opinion on the situation.

Hermione dressed quickly, and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. She started the coffee wandlessly, and opened the giant stainless-steel refrigerator. Reaching for a small carton of eggs, she decided she would make breakfast for Severus. She collected the loaf of brioche on the counter along with some vanilla.

French toast was one of her mum's favorite breakfasts, and it was one of the few dishes that Hermione was able to make from scratch without magic. She smiled at the memory, and aimlessly wondered how Bill was doing with his search for her parents. As far as she knew, there had been no progress made, but she remained hopeful.

Hermione added the last piece of toast to a plate, and muttered a warming charm. She found a piece parchment and began to write:

**_Severus-_ **

**_I left early for Ginny's. I will be back tonight. Enjoy your breakfast._ **

**_Love,_ **

**_Hermione._ **

She waved her wand over the note and watched the ink disappear. Another habit. She learned not to trust outsiders in case her owls were ever intercepted, so she regularly disguised her writing so only the recipient could read it.

Hermione took one last sip of her coffee and made her way to the fireplace floo in the living room. She grabbed a handful of floo powder, "the Weasley's house." She thew the handful and was gone in an instant.

* * *

"Hermione! Dear, how wonderful to see you!" Mrs. Weasley was, unsurprisingly, the first to greet Hermione. She remembered when she would spend time at the Weasley's that she hardly ever saw the woman sleep. She doubted much had changed even after the War.

"Good morning, Mrs. Weasley! I'm so glad you are up. I know it's early." Hermione brushed powder off her sweater, and walked into Molly's open arms. The embrace felt nice, comfortable. There was something about a mother's hug that felt different. Hermione wiped her eyes, which did not go unnoticed by Molly.

"Oh Hermione. Are you alright? I told Ginny you should have come here for the holidays. You should not be alone." Molly moved Hermione so she was at an arm's distance and looked into her eyes, "you are a beautiful, bright and talented witch. Things will work out, but let those who love you take care of you."

Hermione gave a soft smile.

"Now, enough of that. Come eat." Molly signaled to a full plate waiting on the table, and walked to the stairs to shout, "Ginny! Hermione's here!"

Ginny appeared a few minutes later, and sat down to the second plate put on the table.

"I am so glad you were able to come. How's studying?" Ginny was careful with her word choice. Hermione knew Ginny told her mum that she had to stay at Hogwarts for her potions apprenticeship.

Hermione responded in code, "it's been great. I have been learning a lot, but there have been some difficult brews I haven't quite mastered yet." She gave Ginny a knowing look.

Molly overheard this, "If there's anyone who can be a Potions Mistress, it's you, Hermione. I know Severus can be difficult, but he will train you better than anyone out there. Do not get discouraged." She moved quickly from the pans she was scrubbing, to remove the towels hanging outside from their line.

"We definitely cannot talk here," Hermione chuckled.

"You have no idea," Ginny replied with smirk. Hermione's eyes went wide at this remark.

"Ginny! What is going on?"

Ginny shook her head and laughed. "We'll head to Hogsmeade and chat there."

The girls finished their breakfast, and said 'goodbye' to Molly.

* * *

"Where are you brothers?" Hermione asked Ginny. They had just arrived at Hogsmeade, and could talk freely.

"George spends most of the time at the shop. He makes it home for supper mostly every day, but we don't see much more of him aside from that. Ron was sleeping, of course. Bill and Fleur are expecting again, and everyone is excited about that. Charlie and Percy are doing well." She shrugged. "We're doing about as well as we can."

Hermione knew she was referring to Fred. It hadn't been that long since the War, and she knew the loss was still fresh for everyone- especially George. She tried not to complain too much about her family around the Weasleys because at the end of the day, at least her parents were still alive.

"This looks perfect," Ginny pointed. A new shop had recently opened in the village that only sold tea. The girls' eyes grew wide as they stepped inside.

The walls were full of shelves which held thousands of glass jars containing various teas. There were teas from almost every country, and teas for almost any ailment. Ginny spotted a small table in a corner, and motioned for Hermione to follow.

Once they sat down, a beautiful blonde approached their table.

"How's it going there?" She was Irish, and had a beautiful smile.

Hermione matched her smile, "this place is brilliant! I'm not sure how we will make a choice."

The woman laughed, "well you can choose whatever is on the wall, or let me know how you've been feeling and I guarantee, I'll get you what you need."

Ginny smiled, "I'll take something for exciting news." She looked at Hemione and laughed at her bewildered expression.

Hermione thought for a second, and requested something for "clarity."

With a nod, the blonde left the girls and headed behind the bar to make their drinks.

"Honestly, Ginny I might burst if you don't tell me what is going on right this instant!"

Ginny looked down and countered, "well, it's not so much something to tell as it is more something to show."

The redhead placed her hands on the table and muttered, "revelio!"

Instantly, a large ring appeared on Ginny's left hand. Set in gold was large ruby surrounded by no less than fifteen smaller diamonds.

Hermione's hands went to her mouth in shock. "Ginny! I can't believe it! Congratulations! When did this happen? And wait, why are you hiding this?!" Hermione's excitement quickly turned to confusion.

"It was entirely my decision, not Harry's," Ginny responded.

"After everything that happened, we knew _this_ was the right decision," she motioned to the ring, "but the timing wasn't quite right." Ginny was obviously thrilled, but Hermione could see the sadness. "I'm not sure when will be the right time," she continued, "but I figured we needed to let mum grieve a bit more."

Hermione reached for her hand. "Ginny, don't you think that maybe _this_ is exactly what your family needs? Something to celebrate? Something to take their minds off that grief even for the shortest of time?" Ginny frowned. Hermione could tell she hadn't considered that.

"Do you really think that would be a good idea? Well, then there's the whole age thing which you know my father will have something to say about how I'm too young." Ginny rolled her eyes.

Hermione laughed, "Well, I think you'll have any easier go of that than I will."

Ginny blushed. "'Mione, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that!"

Hermione interrupted, "I know you didn't. Only joking!"

Ginny, looking relieved, continued. "Okay, good, because you will obviously be my maid of honor, and Snape will have be there."

Hermione couldn't even process what Ginny had just asked her, because she was too focused on Severus. She knew the wedding wouldn't be for a while, but the thought of revealing her relationship scared her.

"Oh, Ginny, wow that's wonderful," she stuttered awkwardly. "I'm so honored. I'm sure Severus will do his best to be there." Hermione breathed a sigh of relief with the blonde returned with their drinks.

Hermione tried to change the subject by taking a deep sip from her cup. "Wow, this is delicious. How's yours?"

Ginny wasn't fooled.

"What do you mean he'll 'do his best to be there'?" She took a sip from her cup. "I know Snape still doesn't particularly care for Harry, but you _have_ to know that Harry would want him there anyway. He did a lot for Harry."

Hermione stared into her cup. "Maybe that's what I need clarity on," she said gesturing to the cup, "I'm not sure when we will be ready to make it public." Ginny noticed the witch in front of her looked sad.

"Hermione, what happened?" Ginny asked gently.

"Well," Hermione started, "I don't think Severus thinks I'm serious about the relationship. Or rather, I _know_ he thinks that."

Hermione told Ginny the detailed story about the fire emeralds and the confrontation that ensued, leaving no detail out.

After almost twenty minutes, Ginny spoke.

"So, are you mad he used magic on you, or are you mad he thinks you're not serious _because_ he used magic on you." Ginny took a long sip from her cup.

"I guess I didn't think about it like that," Hermione started. "Honestly, I'm not even sure I'm actually mad because I know I probably would have done the same thing if I didn't think he would have known immediately I had used magic."

"Listen," Ginny continued, "I can't tell you what to do, and I don't know a lot about your situation, but I _can_ tell you this. There is no denying you care deeply about him. I would use 'love' but I don't want you to feel pressured to use that term if you haven't yet." She watched Hermione blush. "Well, I guess that answers my question," Ginny laughed, "and truthfully, I can't say I'm surprised. Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone."

At that moment, Hermione realized something. Despite the uncertainty about their age difference, and the fear that people wouldn't approve- she never questioned whether she loved Severus or wanted to be with him.

It became clear that all her worries and fears seemed to stem from outside influences. Why should she hold back happiness for fear of what other people will think? Of course, Severus still thought she was unsure about their relationship, but she now understood that he was projecting his _own_ fears onto her.

"Huh," Hermione thought aloud, "Ginny, I think you just helped me realize something important. Despite the concerns I have, I've never once actually questioned my feelings for Severus. I wonder if his questioning of _my_ uncertainty is really just a projection of his own fears."

Hermione wasn't prepared for Ginny's laugh.

"Well, of course that's what it is!" Hermione looked confused.

"Hermione, think of it like this. Snape is a good twenty-something years older than you, and I would assume he's not looking for some meaningless fling. From what you've told me, and what I've learned from Harry, I don't think he's ever had anyone reciprocate his feelings- ever. Of course, course he's scared. In fact, I'd say he's so scared that he's continuously trying to give you an out without you recognizing that. He'd rather end it now than continue on for months or years and be devastated later. I know he's not as bad as he seems, but he still _is_ Snape. He wants to get to the point."

Ginny was right. Somewhere during their conversations and the confrontation, she had forgotten that Severus had really never known love. She felt a twinge of guilt.

"What if he thought I needed to use that protective charm to even be around him?"

Ginny gave her a sympathetic look. "I would like to say 'I'm sure that's not the reason,' but really I don't know." Ginny shrugged. "I do know that you need to keep having conversations with him. I don't doubt your love or feelings one bit, but I'm sure you two still have a lot to learn about each other. Don't skip that part."

Hermione knew Ginny was right. There was still so much they needed to learn about each other, and they had plenty of time to do that.

Hermione was about to 'thank' Ginny, when something caught the corner of her eye: a tall redhead.

"Well, if it isn't the great Hermione Granger!" George Weasley had just entered the tea shop and was bounding toward them.

"Ginny! Ginny- your brother! The ring!" Hermione whispered fiercely.

By the time Ginny comprehended what was going on, it was too late.

George made his way to the table and his eyes instantly went from Hermione to Ginny's left hand.

"See, this is what happens when you miss one family dinner. War heroes come back, and your sister gets betrothed!" George's eyes looked sad behind the large smile he gave.

Ginny put her head in her hands.

"George…," she groaned. "Don't look like that. You're the only one who knows. Well, aside from Hermione."

George raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell little sis." He grabbed a chair and sat at the table.

"Harry asked me on Christmas Eve. I told him I didn't want to say anything because I don't think mum is ready for this. And dad probably isn't either. I had to tell _someone,"_ she gestured to Hermione.

"And I am thrilled for you, Ginny." Hermione smiled.

George stroked his chin. "Hmm, and I supposed you'll want me to keep this a secret, too?" Ginny groaned. There was no way George was going to keep the secret, and he _knew_ she knew that.

"No, George," she sighed. "You're coming over tonight and we can tell them together." She rolled her eyes.

Ever the comedian, George grabbed her hands and kissed them. "Milady, 'til tonight."

Ginny snatched her hands, while Hermione laughed.

"Now, I have a shipment of firecrackers to get back to ladies. I'll see you later." George smirked and took his leave with a formal bow.

Hermione chuckled. "He seems to be in better spirits today, don't you think?"

Ginny's eyes narrowed, "you're right, he does. But I won't question it, because I don't think I've seen him smile in months."

Hermione signaled the blonde, who arrived at their table with a smile. "Something else, lass?"

Hermione looked at Ginny and responded, "we're going to need two cups of some heavy courage."


	30. An Engagement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! I decided to split this one into separate chapters. Part II will be out this weekend. As always, thank you for reading and the lovely comments. I am wondering if people prefer shorter chapters with more updates, or longer chapters with fewer updates. Let me know! xx

Severus glanced at the clock on the wall of his library and frowned. It was a quarter past eleven in the evening.

He had worked all day on Hermione’s lesson plans for her apprenticeship, and moved to the library after dinner. He figured with the day to himself that he would complete as many lessons as possible before returning to Hogwarts. No matter how many tasks he was able to have Minerva handle, being Headmaster consumed much of his time that could be spent elsewhere. He wanted to give Hermione the best training possible, so he took any opportunity he could to perfect her plans.

He wasn’t _worried_ about her, but he still felt protective of her, and did not want her hurt any more than she already had been. Plus, just because the Dark Lord was gone, did not mean that his followers were.

Although many were captured, a small few were let go in place of testimony against others. Those small few obviously fled, but Severus remained unconvinced they wouldn’t find their way back to trouble at some point. He wasn’t as concerned about himself as he was for Hermione. For the most part, she was never _alone_ trying to defend herself, and the thought of her facing off against a former Death Eater unnerved him.

He rose from the armchair and stared out into the snowy yard. He crossed his arms and sighed. A part of him wondered if she was still upset, and this was her way of letting him know. _Or she just simply lost track of time,_ he thought to himself. _She did say ‘be back tonight,’ and it still is ‘tonight.’_ He rolled his eyes. He was starting to feel like a protective parent waiting for a teenager to meet curfew.

Despite the age difference, Hermione _was_ an adult. Severus found himself forgetting that at times because of their longstanding teacher/student relationship. But, the thought of her alone somewhere in the middle of the night made him anxious.

 _She’s not alone, Severus. She’s at the Weasley’s and she can floo directly back here._ No matter how much he tried to stop his overthinking, he was growing impatient.

He decided he would begin organizing the experimental ingredients for the memory potion they placed on a stasis, and retreated to his potions lab to wait.

* * *

Hermione was on her fifth glass of wine, and thankfully, no one seemed to notice.

She was sitting around the entire Weasley clan, plus Harry. George’s appearance at the tea shop forced Ginny to spill the beans at the family dinner. What Ginny _didn’t_ know was that George had owled Bill, Charlie and Percy as soon as he got back to his shop, so everyone was there. The dinner had been... _interesting._

Molly could hardly contain herself when they got back from Hogsmeade and Ginny asked if Hermione could stay for dinner.

“It’s just like old times,” Molly smiled, with a slight sadness in her eyes.

Molly’s excitement only grew when one by one, the rest of her children walked out of the floo just before dinner. Harry had already been over with Ron, so there was no chance anyone knew what was going to happen at dinner.

Once the dishes had been cleared, Ginny got up from her chair and walked behind Hermione’s.

“Alright, everyone. I really want to say ‘thank you’ to Hermione for taking the time out of her rigorous study schedule to visit me today. I know it’s been ages since we’ve all been together, and I think mum put it best: it _does_ feel a little like ‘old times.’ Ginny smiled, and moved from behind Hermione’s chair to Harry’s.

“I’m also really glad Hermione came today because if it wasn’t for her, this family dinner would not have been possible.” Hermione blushed, as the entire Weasley clan looked at her with glossy eyes and thankful smiles. “And speaking of family,” Ginny continued, looking at George, who gave her a wink, “there’s nothing more important than family. And you should always be honest with your family, no matter how difficult it may seem.”

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley looked at one another with uncertain eyes.

“So,” Ginny went on, awkwardly, “I- er we, don’t want to be dishonest anymore.”

At this point, the entire table, aside from George, Hermione, Harry and Ron, was ready to burst.

“Ginevra Molly, I swear if you don’t get on with what you need to say right this instant, I will-” Ginny’s laughter interrupted Molly’s unfinished threat.

“Revelio,” she whispered, and her ring appeared.

“Harry and I have been engaged, but I was too nervous to say anything.” She winced.

Much to Ginny’s obvious surprise, the entire table exploded into ‘congratulations.’

Molly burst from her seat, crying, to run and hug the couple. Arthur followed with a handshake for Harry and a hug for his only daughter. Each of her brother’s took turns congratulating Harry and hugging their sister.

Hermione caught a comment from Ron, and her eyes filled with tears.

“Mate, you know you’ve been like my brother since the day we met. This only makes it more, ya know, legal.” The two best friends shared a hug. When the excitement died down, Ginny started talking again.

“I’ve already asked Hermione to be my maid of honor for whenever this wedding may take place.” She raised a glass to Hermione and smiled. Hermione matched her action, and took a large drink from her wine glass.

“Ginny, when did you plan on having the wedding?” Fleur inquired. Hermione saw her eyes sparkle. Fleur loved any excuse to throw a party.

“Well, umm, honestly we don’t know. We didn’t know what would be appropriate given everything that has happened.” Ginny looked down sadly.

George moved so he was standing behind Ginny and Harry. He placed a hand on each of their shoulders. “I think a happy occasion is _just_ what we need, and if Fred knew you were holding back from a party on account of _him_ , he’d never let you live it down.” There was a mixture of laughing and sobbing from the Weasley bunch at that comment.

Everyone knew that George was never the same after Fred’s death, and this comment gave them a glimmer of hope that maybe he was going to be okay.

Hermione looked around at her friends. She looked at the family that loved each other so much despite the trials and tribulations they had all endured.

She felt alone. She looked at her hand and rubbed the spot where Severus’ gift would normally be. She had decided to take it off when she returned with Ginny for fear of too many questions. Fortunately, the ever-busy Molly hadn't noticed that morning.

She wished she hadn’t taken it off. She wished that she didn’t have to hide what she valued so much, even though she _knew_ it was for the best right now.

Even though she was thrilled for Ginny and her family, she wished Severus was there. She wished the small semblance of family she had could be with her. _What family?_ She mentally scoffed. _Severus is not your family._

Hermione was brought back to the present when Molly declared, “I think the wedding should be this summer.”

Hermione froze. _This summer?! As in six months away?_ There was no way Severus would be open to revealing their relationship that soon after graduation. She took a drink that was akin to half of her glass.

“I think they should wait until _after_ Ginny graduates.” It was Arthur’s turn to bring the celebration back to reality.

“I actually thought about that,” Harry quipped, looking at Ginny apologetically.

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. That would be more than a year from now, and plenty of time to determine the course of their relationship. She took a large sip of wine.

Ginny glared at Harry. There was clearly something else that the couple was hiding.

“Well, Harry, because you’re so keen on making decisions, why don’t you tell my family exactly why I _didn’t_ want to wait?”

All eyes turned to Harry. Hermione’s eyes turned to the bottle of wine in front of her.

“Okay, alright,” Harry put up his arms in defeat. Everyone went silent, and Harry continued.

“I’m not going to be here for about a year following graduation because I have accepted a job with the Ministry and will be leaving for training.” He smiled shyly. Ginny folded her arms across her chest.

“That’s brilliant!” Arthur beamed.

“Well!” Molly started, “a summer wedding, it is!”

Everyone noticed Bill and Fleur look at one another.

“Oh, bloody hell, now what!” Ron was annoyed at this point. Molly gave him a stern look.

“Honestly, we don’t want to ruin anyone’s plans,” Bill said quietly, “but the baby is due in the summer and you know we don’t want to miss this.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Hermione reached for the wine bottle. She needed glass number six for what she anticipated was coming next.

“Alright, a _spring_ wedding. Final answer.” Molly summoned a piece of parchment. “I think we need to start planning! We only have four months!”

Fleur rose from her chair and was at Molly’s side in an instant. “Molly, allow me to assist with everything. It will be the most beautiful wedding ever.” Her French accent was intoxicating, and Molly agreed instantly.

Everyone seemed engulfed in their own conversations. Everyone except Hermione. Her head was spinning a little. George noticed and took a seat next to her.

“You alright?” He asked. Hemione looked up at him and smiled.

“I am. Just lost in my thoughts, I suppose. Maybe a bit too much wine.” She happened to glance at the clock in the kitchen. It was half past midnight. “Blimey! The time! I really need to get back.” Severus was probably beside himself by now. She started to get up, but stumbled and sat back down. George put his hand on hers.

“Hermione, at this point you’re like a sister to me. If there’s anything you ever need to talk about, I might understand more than you think.” He gave her a small smile.

Hermione figured he was talking about Fred and her parents. “George, you know it’s not the same. I can’t begin to compare my obliviated parents to Fred. It’s not right.” George gave her a confused look, then chuckled. “That’s not what I was referring to.” He gave her a wink.

Hermione froze. _There’s no way. Ginny would never had said anything._ She moved her hand away from his suddenly. “I’m not sure what you mean, George.”

She needed to get out of there. She was drunk and nervous. The worst combination for someone like her.

George laughed again. He spoke softly. “Listen, secrets hardly ever stay a secret when you know the right people.” He saw Hermione’s eyes dart to Ginny.

“No, no, no. It wasn’t Ginny.” He gave her a reassuring pat on the back. Hermione breathed a small sigh of relief. She felt bad for that split second of doubt for her friend.

“Listen,” George continued, “All I’m saying is don’t make a big deal out of something that most people won’t care about.”

Hermione retorted in a hushed whisper. “And how exactly do you know that they won’t care?”

George shrugged. “Because it’s you. And him. Think of what you two did. Who would dare to say anything?” Hermione couldn’t believe what she was hearing, either because of the wine, or because she was so thoroughly confused.

“George, how on earth do you have any idea,” she paused carefully, “about a- umm situation that I will neither- uhh confirm nor deny.” She stared at him forcefully.

He laughed. “I saw your ring this afternoon. I also know a certain Potions Master had that ring especially made.” Hermione’s eyes grew wide. _There’s no way!_ She tried to make a mental note _not_ to tell Severus about this specific revelation.

“How?” She sputtered.

“I went with Harry to get Ginny’s. This guy, Tom, he's a friend of my buddy, he makes great pieces. He served the Dark Lord, so you know he’s brilliantly good.”

Hermione was stunned. _Severus still keeps in touch with Death Eaters?_ Not only was she confused, but her head had moved from spinning to a full-blown headache. _Maybe I will ask Severus about this._

George continued, “While we were there, Tom was showing us some of his recent designs. He didn’t say _whose_ they were, but that ring looked an awful lot like the one in the picture.” He made a fake concerned face. “You’re not going to run off and get married without us now, are you?”

Hermione made some noise that she had never heard of before. It was a cross between a gasp and shriek. George laughed.

“It’s not an engagement ring, George!” Her hushed whispers had turned into hushed shouts, and she realized everyone was staring at her.

‘I-uh I mean. It’s lovely.” She carefully made her way over to Harry and Ginny’s bewildered faces.

“I really need to be going. I love you two.” She gave Harry and Ginny a half hug and made her way to the floo, not bothering to turn and see the looks of confusion that followed her.

* * *

Severus had made a silent agreement with himself that if Hermione was not back by one, he would go look for her. He looked at the clock: twelve forty-five in the morning.

He had started his potions lab, but then made his way back downstairs to read by the fireplace when he could no longer concentrate on ingredients. His reading quickly turned to pacing. _Get ahold of yourself. She’s enjoying the company of others and lost track of time. She’s not in danger._ He continued to repeat those words in his head over and over again.

Suddenly, his floo activated. Hermione stumbled through, and Severus just barely caught her before she would have fallen to the floor.

“Oh. Hello, Severus.” Hermine mumbled. Severus knew instantly she was drunk. He sighed. _At least she’s safe._

“Hermione,” he embraced her, “I was beginning to worry. I was very close to going and looking for you.”

Hermione giggled. “Severus, don’t be silly. You couldn’t have done that without exposing us.” Her word choice seemed odd. Normally, she would have assured him that she was fine, and apologized for not having sent word that she would be so late.

“Hermione, I would have done what was necessary to make sure you were safe.” His tone was sharp.

Hermione giggled again. “I see.” Severus grabbed her hand and noticed she wasn’t wearing the ring.

“Hermione, what happened to your ring?” His voice was full of concern at this point.

Hermione held onto him with one arm as she dug into her jean pocket. She held it up to him. “'sright here!” She smiled. Her words were a little off.

“Well, yes,” Severus drawled, “but why isn’t it _on_.” He watched Hermione put it on her finger. It started to glow bright red.

“Well, too many questions. I don’t know what I would say.” She stuttered.

“You could just say it was a gift, Hermione.” Severus rolled his eyes. He knew the Weasleys were nosy, but this seemed a bit extreme.

“Yeah, but a gift from _whom_?” She retorted, with extra emphasis. She removed her hand from him. “I need to sit down.”

Severus helped her to the couch and had a glass of water for her almost instantly. She took it and drank deeply.

“Thanks,” she mumbled. “I drank too much.”

Severus’ eyes narrowed, “Yes, I have already made that observation. May I ask, why?”

It wasn’t like Hermione to imbibe like this. _But then again, she wasn’t concerned about a protective charm, so that’s an improvement._

“Well, Ginny and Harry are getting married. This spring. As in four months from now, and I’m to be the maid of honor.” From the tone of her voice, Severus knew she was less than thrilled.

“I would assume you would be happy for your friends?” Severus questioned.

“Yeah, I am, but I sat there looking around at this family full of happiness and just felt so alone." She hiccuped. "I _am_ alone.” Her words pierced him. “And I know you’ll say ‘that’s not true’ but at the end of the day Severus, it _is_ true. I have no family.”

Severus knew he needed to be as careful as possible with this situation.

“Hermione, you have me.” He took her hand.

She scoffed. “Severus, we both know you’re not my family. We can’t even tell people about us.” Her eyes looked pained.

Severus realized why she was upset. She had just spent an entire day with people celebrating love and family, and she couldn’t even celebrate that herself.

“Hermione, we can do whatever you want, but I thought we both agreed that it was best to wait until after graduation.” He didn’t want to have to fight about this, but he also didn’t want her to think that _he_ wanted to hide her.

“It’s just,” she started, “how can I be happy, when I can’t be happy _completely?_ Why is there always something standing in my way?” She started playing with his fingers. “For a 'War Heroine,' it seems like I got the short end of the stick.” Her voice was sarcastic.

Severus was conflicted. He wanted nothing more than to have a normal relationship with the woman he loved, but that was part of the problem. It _wasn’t_ a normal relationship. He immediately thought of something.

“Hermione, I hope you know that I would attend whatever events you request my presence at.” His voice was sincere. Hermione seemed shocked.

“But, how would we even do that? What would people say? ‘Oh, Hermione couldn’t find a date so she brought her _Headmaster_?'” Her voice started to enter shrieking mode. Severus blamed the wine for that. He tried to remember that much of her present state was due to the alcohol, and was not normal for her. _Perhaps, this would be my chance to learn as much as I can…_

“Hermione,” Severus looked at her seriously, “what do you want?”

Frustrated, Hermione stood up and turned to face him. She carefully caught her balance.

“Severus, I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t know how to get you to believe me. Why is it so hard to believe that I love you? Why is it so hard to believe that I’ve found the person I want to spend my life with?”

Severus tried to cut her off, “Hermione- I-”

Hermione drunkenly put a finger to his lips.

“I wish you would use Legilimency on me.” She laughed.

Forced to comply, Severus looked at her curiously before he muttered, “Legilimens.”


	31. What Memories Can Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something to brighten your Sunday morning- or Saturday night! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I have some idea where I want this story to go, but I've been known to change bits based on your reviews. ;)

Severus was immediately transported into Hermione’s mind. He watched the first memory play out. Hermione looked no older than she would have been in her second or third year at Hogwarts.

_Hermione was studying at a table in the library. Her potions book was open before her and she was taking notes vigorously. Ronald Weasley appeared next to her. “Hermione, I don’t know why you’re even bothering to study. Snape hates everyone. Especially, people who think they know everything.” Hermione was frustrated. “Ronald, I don’t think that’s true! I think he’s just waiting for someone to finally take an interest in it. I don’t think he’s really that bad.” “You’re mental, Hermione! Why do you think he lives in a dungeon? No one wants to see him more than they need to.” The sadness Hermione felt at this comment was lost on Ron as he shrugged and walked away._

Severus blinked. The memory in front of him changed almost simultaneously.

_The decor in the Great Hall had just changed from Halloween. Everyone was chattering excitedly, waiting for the feast to begin. Hermione was staring at the empty seat that was normally occupied by Severus. She frowned._

Severus remembered this occasion. He had met with Dumbledore to discuss Harry’s participation in the Triwizard Tournament. He continued watching the scene.

_Harry sat down next to Hermione. “Harry, where do you think Professor Snape is?” Harry shrugged, “I have no idea. Why?” “Well, it just seems odd that he’s not here. He’s always here on time.” Harry chuckled, “I didn’t know you cared so much about Snape’s whereabouts, ‘Mione.” She stuttered, “I, well, I mean I don’t. It’s just an observation.”_

Severus could feel her concern and disappointment through the memory.

Darkness fell on him as the next memory began. He could immediately feel Hermione’s anxiety.

_Hermione was in her bathroom pacing. ‘Get ahold of yourself, Hermione. It’s just sex.’ Viktor Krum was waiting for her, and she was grappling with the choice whether to lose her virginity or not._

Severus silently hoped he wouldn’t have to watch this memory play out in full, especially knowing Hermione was currently drunk.

_‘It’s bound to happen sooner or later, Hermione. And it’s not like he’s not attractive, he’s just not that bright. Not like Snape.’ She brought her hands to her face, feeling frustrated at her own thoughts. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time, and walked back into her dormitory bedroom._

Severus was relieved when the memory went black again. When the scene changed, he had a hard time determining how old Hermione was.

 _Hermione was nervous. She was sitting in her dormitory room with Ginny Weasley. She was mentally debating whether or not to tell Ginny a secret. “Ginny,” she started, “how do you know that Harry is someone you want to be with?” Ginny giggled. “I don’t know. I think it’s just something that you- you know-_ know.” _Hermione rolled her eyes. She was annoyed at this unhelpful comment. “I’m sorry, Hermione. I know that sounds cliché, but I don’t really know how to explain it. Why?” she whispered excitedly, “who has caught your eye?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Hermione’s anxiety was extreme. She wanted to scream and cry, but instead she burst out, “Ginny, I think I love Professor Snape.” Ginny’s eyes grew wide. Hermione wanted to bury herself in a hole. “Hermione, I-uh, have you…,” her voice trailed off, “you know…with Snape?” Hermione was startled by the accusation, angered that the physical aspects were all Ginny cared about. “Of course, not Ginny! I mean, I wish, but that’s another thing entirely.”_

Again, his surroundings went black. When the scene in front of him cleared, Severus saw Hermione sitting at a kitchen table with who he assumed was her mother.

_"I can’t believe you’re already nineteen years old. You know Hermione, Mrs. Cartway has a lovely young, son. He's studying medicine now and he's very smart," Mrs. Granger spoke through a mouthful of cake. Hermione instantly became annoyed. "Mum, you know very well I have no interest in boys right now. All they want to do is fool around and believe a woman's position belongs in the kitchen only." Hermione rolled her eyes._

_"Oh child, you mustn't think like that. Don't you want to find someone to love and take care of you? I know things work differently in the magic world, but love is universal, isn't it?" Her mother was frowning._ _Hermione’s anger was begging to bubble. "I don't want to find someone because I have to, I want to find someone because I want to. I just don't think I could possibly bear the thought of spending forever with someone who I would have to be different around." Hermione looked down, saddened at her words, "I don't think guys want someone smart like me."_ _Mrs. Granger reached for her daughter's hand, "You might do well with someone older then. Love has no age limit." Her mother smiled at her._

He was able to determine that memory must have taken place just before her last year at Hogwarts and the War.

Darkness surrounded Severus again. He was transported to a scene that looked eerily family. It took him a split second to recognize it as the scene of Hermione’s boggart from the start of the term. Only this time, Hermione was not immobilized.

_“No, no, no.” Hermione was frantically going over every incantation and spell that would help the dying man in front of her. Blood poured through her hands as she used wandless magic to carefully siphon the snake venom from his neck. ‘You will not die here. Not if I have a say in it. There is so much you haven’t taught me. There is so much I haven’t had the chance to say.’ She poured a blood replenishing potion down his throat. Severus’ eyes bore into hers._

Considering the fact that he was near unconscious during these events, Severus did not recall how the rest of the scene in front of him played out.

_“Hermione. Go. Not safe.” Hermione’s mind seemed to want to explode with frustration and fear. “Sir, absolutely do not talk right now. You need to save your strength. Let me work.” Hermione was mentally pleading with the gods to help her. Severus blinked and murmured a clear, “I don’t deserve you.”_

Black again. Severus was now in a room full of Weasleys.

_Hermione was distraught. She was thinking about how alone she felt, and how badly she wanted Severus with her. ‘He’s not your family,’ she scoffed to herself. Her eyes grew glossy watching the Weasley clan congratulate Harry and Ginny on their engagement. George walked over to her and sat down. Hermione’s head began to spin. George’s hand was on hers. “Listen, secrets hardly ever stay a secret when you know the right people.” Hermione’s heart began to race. She wanted so badly to scream at the top of her lungs that she wanted Severus forever._

_“Listen,” George continued, “All I’m saying is don’t make a big deal out of something that most people won’t care about.” Hermione was now panicking and retorted in a hushed whisper. “And how exactly do you know that they won’t care?” George shrugged. “Because it’s you. And him. Think of what you two did. Who would dare to say anything?”_

_Hermione’s confusion was palpable. She began to feel a headache brewing. “George, how on earth do you have any idea,” she paused carefully, “about the umm situation that I will neither uhh confirm nor deny.” He laughed. “I saw your ring this afternoon. I also know a certain potions master had that ring especially made.” Hermione’s eyes grew wide. Her mind was telling her she could never tell Severus this because of how much he already hated the Weasleys. “How?” She sputtered. “I went with Harry to get Ginny’s. A friend of my buddy, Tom, he makes great pieces. He served the Dark Lord, so you know he’s brilliantly good.”_

_‘Severus still keeps in touch with Death Eaters?’ Hermione thoughts made her feel a sense of uneasiness at this revelation. She wanted to ask him about it._

In an instant, Severus was back in his own home, staring at an obviously exhausted Hermione. He could tell she was weak. He closed the distance between them and sat her on the couch. He knelt on the floor in front of her.

“See,” she started softly, “I told you I wasn’t lying.”

Severus was lost for words. He was certain there were more memories that told the story of Hermione’s long-standing desire for him, but those select few were all he needed to see.

While he had been concerned that their relationship was moving too fast, he had not actually considered the fact that Hermione had been mentally preparing for a life with him without his knowledge. He did feel badly for the way he had been acting, but at the same time, he was unwilling to be forced into a life of uncertainty. He had dealt with that all his life, and he was tired of it.

He took her hands. “Hermione, I wish I could sit here and tell you that I believed you when you said those words to me, but I do not want to lie.” He watched her face fall.

“You have to understand that my trust for people was almost non-existent for the past twenty something years. And then when I discovered the protective charm, I couldn’t help myself but think of the worst. You have to imagine what it’s like to be me. The one person no one wanted to be around. The person everyone made fun of for being alone. The one they said would never find love.” His voice hitched just a bit at the last sentence.

“And then _you_ come around. Probably one of the most desirable witches of your time, and you want _me_. It was hard to believe. It still is some days, but that’s because I’m not used to having anyone want and care for me so willingly, so openly.”

Hermione, still drunk, put her finger to his lips. “Shhh,” she mumbled. “Can we just move on from this? I just wanted you to know that this is real to me.”

Severus looked into her eyes, and down at her glowing ring. He closed his eyes.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and stood up. He grabbed her hands and helped her up. He looked at the clock: _one forty-five in the morning_.

“Come on, Hermione. We have something to do.” Hermione looked at him questioningly.

“Sev,” she uttered, “we going somewhere?” He had never heard her use that nickname before, and he found himself not bothered by it.

“Yes, love. We’re going to pay some friends a visit.” Hermione smiled.

“I like going places with you.” Her eyes twinkled back at him.

He wanted to laugh at her ridiculousness, but he was too nervous over what he was about to do. He held on to her tightly, and with a loud * _CRACK_ * they were gone.

* * *

Severus and Hermione landed just outside the Weasley’s small cottage.

_Severus, you have actually gone mad. This is it. Once you do this, there is no returning from this._

He noticed a movement from his right, and turned instantly, wand drawn. It was George.

“Ah, Headmaster. I was wondering how long it would be before you showed up here. Luckily, mostly everyone is still up.” He gave a devilish smile.

Hermione waved, “Hi George! Why are you here?” Severus rolled his eyes. George laughed.

“Hermione, we’re at the Weasley’s. We’ve come for a little visit.” Severus drawled. He was slowly starting to think this was his worst idea yet.

Hermione’s eyes went wide. “What? We can’t be here, someone will see!”

“Someone already has.” George joked. He had caught up with the pair and met them at front door. He was about to open the door when Severus stopped him.

“Who’s here?” Severus drawled.

“Mum and dad, Harry, Ginny, and Ron. Everyone else had to get back.” George replied.

Severus nodded.

George reached for the door handle and pushed it open. “After you,” he motioned to Severus and Hermione.

Severus was prepared for a weird exchange, but he was not prepared for the awkward silence that plagued them once they were inside of the house.

Everyone had stopped what they were doing and stared at the couple who had just entered the home.

Molly tried to break the silence, “Err, Severus. My goodness, it’s been a while. Do come in. Is Hermione unwell? We should have made her stay, but she was insistent on going back to Hogwarts.” She made her way across the kitchen and instantly took Hermione into her arms.

“Dear,” she muttered, “are you alright?”

Hermione started giggling uncontrollably, which visibly unnerved everyone watching.

Severus broke the awkwardness. “If everyone could just take a seat, I will explain our presence.”

Harry crossed the room and took Hermione’s hands. “’Mione, what’s wrong? You can tell me.” His voice was at a whisper.

Through fits of giggles, Hermione was able to get out a ‘go sit down, Harry.’ He took his seat next to a concerned looking Ginny.

Once everyone was seated, Severus began to talk.

“I apologize for the late visit, but a situation has arisen of which I felt the need to apprise Hermione’s closest confidants. As I’m sure you know, she has not yet found her parents, and considers you all as family.” Severus patted Hermione’s back softly.

“Oh gods. Hermione, are you pregnant?” Ron declared loudly. Molly shot him a murderous glare. “What?” he started, “you can’t tell me that this isn’t the most random thing ever. You saw how gGinny just acted before she told you her news!” Ron’s inability to hold in his thoughts never changed throughout the years. His words struck a nerve with Hermione, who spoke suddenly.

“No, _Ron_. I’m not pregnant, but even if I was, Severus would be the best father in the entire world.” Severus flinched at her word choice. He would not have been that direct. He was about to interject, but Hermione was faster.

“This here is Severus Snape. Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” Hermione drunkenly grabbed his hand and raised it in the air. Severus uttered no sound.

“Well, yes, dear,” Molly started, “but what is he doing _here_ with _you?_ ”

With his hand still raised, Hermione let out a proud, “He’s here because he’s my _boyfriend_.” She stopped and looked at Severus with her brow furrowed. “Wait, that’s what you are, right?”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Yes, that’s what I am.”

No one said a word. Severus knew he had to be careful with his next course of action.

“If I could just explain this situation, I think I could do so the best given Hermione’s current state.” He carefully led Hermione to the nearest empty chair and took a seat next to her.

“It is true. Hermione and I have been involved in a relationship for the past few months. We both discovered through the course of her studies that we had more in common than we could have imagined.” Nervous that he would give the wrong impression, he added, “Everything between us has been consensual, and Hermione has indicated she would like to be in this relationship.” He stopped and swallowed hard. “My feelings toward Hermione have surpassed those of mere infatuation. I love her, and I intend to do so for the foreseeable future.”

No one knew what to say. Everyone at that table had experienced a cold, calculating Severus. While Arthur and Molly had some knowledge about his double agent days, they didn’t know everything. The only people in the room who really had full knowledge of Severus’ dedication to the Light were Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

Arthur spoke plainly, “That’s all very well, Severus. How does Hermione feel?”

Ginny rose from her chair, “She feels the same. She has for some time now.”

Severus gave the red head a knowing look. _I definitely misjudged the youngest Weasley._

“I do,” Hermione squeaked softly. “Severus and I have debated sharing anything before I graduated for fear of what the media will do with this revelation. But being here tonight and watching you all share such happiness for Ginny and Harry, well, it saddened me. Why can’t I share the same? I don’t care what you think of me, but please, don’t think poorly of Severus. The relationship was really my idea. And he’s expressed the concerns that I’m sure you all are thinking right now.” She stopped and looked up at Severus. He looked down at her and brought one of her hands to his lips, kissing it gently.

“Hermione, we would never think ill of either you _or_ Severus. You’ve always been family to us. And Severus- well our time together goes back much further than many would think.” Molly turned to Arthur. “Isn’t that right, Arthur?” He nodded furiously.

“And,” Molly continued, “if Severus is a part of your life, then he’s also like family to us.”

“He _is?”_ Ron croaked. “Yes, Ronald, he _is_.” Molly spat back.

Severus chuckled deeply. “Mr. Weasley, I assure that I am unconcerned with whatever it is you do outside of Hogwarts and outside of my classroom.”

Ron seemed to ease at that statement, and the room fell silent again.

Hermione, still a bit drunk, but not quite as bad as she was earlier, added to the conversation.

“Severus is helping me find my parents. And _when_ we find them, I’m going to tell them that this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.” She smiled at the faces glaring at her.

“I daresay we may be planning a double wedding,” George piped in with a wink.

Severus shot George one of his signature glares, “Mr. Weasley, let’s not get overexcited.”

Severus had no idea where to go with this conversation. It was as painful as he imagined, but a part of him was glad he got it out of the way.

“I think it’s wonderful,” Harry spoke plainly. Everyone looked at him. “Hermione deserves all the love in the world. And I don’t know a better man for the job than Severus. If he cares for and protects her the same way he did for me all those years, then we’re fortunate we’ll never have to worry about her.”

For the first time Severus was speechless. It was no secret that his relationship with Harry was always _strained_ , but he believed that he could put his past with Harry’s parents’ behind him. Especially given his relationship with Hermione.

Ginny placed her hand on Harry’s and smiled.

“Mr. Potter- _Harry_ ,” Severus started, “your words are much appreciated. I do believe you know I am truthful when I say I will do all in my power to protect Hermione.”

“We all know that.” Harry replied thoughtfully. Severus looked over at Hermione. Her head was resting against his arm and her eyes were closed.

“I think we should be going,” Severus gently squeezed Hermione’s hand. “I, again, apologize for the intrusion this evening, but when Hermione returned from her visit, I felt it necessary to make this call.” He looked at Harry and Ginny, “My congratulations on your engagement.” He rose from the chair and helped Hermione up. She smiled at him sleepily.

"Wait!" Arthur interjected. "Why did you feel the need to do this now?"

Severus paused, stringing his response carefully in his head.

"As you are well aware, I spent the greater part of my life working towards the goals of others. And while I will not complain because my job was able to produce the desired outcome," he motioned to Harry, "it is time for me to put that Darkness to rest. Hermione wants, and deserves to have a life where she can feel safe and free. She has been bound by the effects of the Dark Lord for so long. I will not be a similar burden to her. If sharing our relationship is what she needs to truly be happy, I can only be so willing to oblige."

Arthur looked at Molly and clapped his hands together. "Well, that seems as good an answer as any for me, I daresay."

Goodbyes were said and Severus led Hermione to the door. Harry caught them just as they were leaving. He held out his hand to Severus, who took it.

“Sir, I know we’ve never seen eye to eye.” Severus smirked at Harry’s words. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you’ve hated me since the day you met me, but anyone who Hermione cares about is someone I care about too.” He gave Severus a firm shake, a nod, and went back to where Ginny was watching with a smile.

“Come along, love.” Severus whispered to the chestnut-haired witch clinging to his robes.

* * *

Just as quickly as they had arrived at the Weasleys, in an instant Severus had apparated them back to his home. Knowing just how exhausted she was, Severus scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom. He placed her in the large bed and walked to his potions’ lab. He scanned the shelves, and grabbed a small vial: _anti-nausea remedy._ He walked back to the bedroom and found Hermione already under the covers.

“My love, I know you’re tired. I need you to take this.” Severus helped her sit up and poured the contents of the unstoppered vial into her mouth. She made a face at the taste.

Severus chuckled. “I’m sorry, but you’ll thank me tomorrow.” He placed the empty vial on the dresser next to the bed and walked out of the room towards the bathroom.

He only made it a few steps when he heard a faint noise coming from downstairs. He grabbed his wand and carefully walked down the stairs. “Homenum Revelio,” he muttered. Sensing nothing, he made it to the kitchen.

Instantly, he realized the noise was tapping coming from the front door. Not sensing any dark magic, he opened the door and found a small grey owl. Its size indicated it was young, and likely had been lost. Severus bent down and took a small piece of parchment off the owl’s leg. It immediately flew off, not waiting for a reply.

Severus closed the door and opened the parchment.

**_Severus-_ **

**_I hope this note finds you well. I have found what you seek._ **

**_Bill_ **


	32. The Trip

Hermione woke the next morning with a pounding headache. She recalled the events of last night, well, _early morning_ , and cringed. She had been drunk enough not to care about embarrassment at the time, but she immediately flushed at the memories.

She turned and found the spot where Severus slept empty. Apparently, he was making it a habit of leaving her before she awoke. She slowly sat up, not wanting her head to spin any more than it was, and saw a vial and a piece of parchment on the side dresser next to her.

**_Hermione-_ **

**_I hope to be back before you wake up, but if I am not, please drink the contents of this vial. It should help with the headache._ **

**_Severus_ **

Hermione smiled. Severus' ability to care for her in the smallest of ways only strengthened her desire for the man. She downed the contents of the vial, noting that he must have added some essence this time, as it lacked the dreaded aftertaste that a normal hangover potion would have. She wondered where he needed to be this early in the morning, but after her late escapade of the day before, she felt it wise not to question his whereabouts.

She got up slowly got up and made her way to the bathroom, willing herself to get into the luxurious shower. The hot water felt amazing on her tired skin. The bath was well stocked with salts, scrubs, and washes. She opted for a peppermint theme, hoping it would help with any lingering effects of her indulgence from the night before.

She immediately could tell that the shampoo was charmed. It tingled her skull and made her skin feel as if it was dancing. It was the most incredible feeling. _I must ask Severus how to do this_. It would be the perfect gift for someone like Ginny.

Hermione lost track of time shampooing her hair over and over and scrubbing every inch of visible dead skin. She was on her seventh rinse and repeat, when she was startled by a voice.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Severus' voice had a touch of concern to it.

"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed. "Severus you scared me. Yes, I'm alright just enjoying whatever you've done to these bath products."

Severus chuckled. He had charmed the products, but they were really meant for the _both_ of them to use together. Hermione interrupted his thoughts.

"Would you like to come and use them with me?" She purred. Severus groaned. He wanted nothing more than to ravish her right this minute, but he had something important to tell her. Something that couldn't wait.

"As much as each part of me would love nothing more than to stay in the shower all day with you, there is something urgent I must discuss with you." Severus' voice was serious.

Hermione's face dropped. After the events of last night, she had no idea what to expect. _He probably realized you're nothing but a child after what happened at the Weasley's and wants nothing more to do with you._

"Alright, Severus. I'll be right out." Severus could hear the sadness in her voice.

"I'll wait downstairs for you." He closed the bathroom door and left Hermione to finish.

Hermione spent a few more minutes under the hot water, and shut off the faucet. She wrapped herself in a large fluffy green towel and sighed. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Using her wand, she dried her hair. She added a light curl, and gave herself a half-smile. She dressed quickly and met Severus in the living room in front of the fire.

"Come," he ordered. She walked towards him and sat next to him on the large couch.

"There is something I-" Severus started, but Hermione cut him off.

"Please Severus I apologize for what happened last night. I never should have put you in that position. You must feel terribly uncomfortable for what we did last night. I should not have gotten as drunk as I did, and I should not have coerced you to reveal our relationship." Hermione started to blink tears from her eyes.

"Hermione, enough! First of all, I cannot be coerced into doing _anything_. Surely, you know that by now. If I do something it is because I, and I alone have made that decision. Second of all, I am relieved for what transpired last night. Of course, I wish it had been under different circumstances, but nevertheless I believe we can finally move forward with our relationship." He wiped the tears from her eyes. Hermione remained silent.

"Now," Severus continued, "can I tell you what I really needed to talk about, or are you going to continue interrupting me?" He used his _professor voice_ , which caused Hermione's spine to tingle. She nodded.

"Last night I received a late owl from Bill regarding your parents." Hermione's eyes widened, but she did not interrupt.

Severus continued. "I went to see him this morning, and he does believe that he has located them. He has given me all of the information he has, but it will be up to us to do the rest. That being said," he drawled, "we are going to have to leave soon. That is why I had to make a _second_ visit this morning, and why I was later than I anticipated." He rolled his eyes. There was obviously some story behind that visit.

"I am sorry if you disagree with my action, but I felt it necessary due to last night's events." He sighed. "I went to see Professor McGonagall because I cannot just _leave_ my duties without some justification. I told her that I was making her temporary Headmistress for the time being, and I contacted Horace Slughorn to take over the potions classes." Severus stopped and took a breath, "I also told her about our relationship."

"Severus!" Hermione was shocked. "Everyone is going to know now! I don't want you to get into trouble." While not angry, Hermione was confused as to why Severus did this without consulting with her.

As if reading her mind, Severus continued. "I understand I should have consulted with you, but we need to leave as soon as we can, and we didn't have the time for one of your internal moral dilemmas." Severus' voice was emotionless.

"Ouch, Severus. That one hurt." His comment made Hermione feel even more self-conscious than she already felt about the situation.

"I am sorry, Hermione. You know I do not seek to hurt you, but we promised to be honest with one another and this is me being honest. We don't have time for dawdling." His took her hand and squeezed it.

"What did Minerva say?" She asked shyly.

"Not much. But she requested an invitation to the wedding." He rolled his eyes.

Hermione laughed, her mood lightening. That was indeed something Minerva would say.

"Okay, _okay._ " Hermione started whispering to herself. She stood up and began pacing in front of the fireplace. "We're going to get my parents." Her voice slowly began to build, "we are _going_ to get my parents. Severus, we're going to get my parents!" She ran back to him and threw herself into his arms, unwilling to cry at the revelation.

"We are, my love," he buried his face into her hair. "We also have much to get done before we can even leave." Hermione broke from the embrace and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you, Severus." She kissed him hard on the lips. He returned the gesture passionately. With the events over the past few days, there had been little opportunities for anything intimate. Hermione broke the kiss.

"I think we should get to work now, so I can have you all to myself later." There was a hunger in her voice that made Severus ache. As much as he wanted her here and now, she had no idea just how much they needed to do.

"Severus, where exactly will we be going?" Hermione questioned.

He looked at her calmly and replied, "New York City."

Judging by the look on her face, Severus could tell Hermione had no idea how or why her parents would have moved from England, let alone to another continent.

"New York?!" She exclaimed. "Severus, are you sure?"

Severus nodded. "This is why we need to leave as soon as possible. I gather we will need to be there for at least a few weeks. We also need to finish the potions. I will help you make up whatever coursework you need to when we return. I don't want this to affect your graduation timeline."

Hermione stood, looking at Severus seriously. "Well, what are you waiting for. We have work to do."

* * *

Severus and Hermione spent the better part of the day in his potions' lab. They had two perfect memory potions to work with, and now they just needed to determine what the key ingredient was.

Severus had an idea of some of the ingredients that would achieve the desired result, but this is what separated a Potions Master from everyone else. He had to know the qualities and properties of each ingredient and be able to understand how they would change a potion. This is exactly what he was trying to teach Hermione. Severus prided himself on his ability to understand how hundreds of various ingredients could change a potion with their individual properties.

He had three ingredients that he believed would have the desired effect: octopus powder, crushed unicorn horn, and wolfsbane.

Hermione stared at the three ingredients, furiously jotting down each of their properties and most common potion uses in her dragon skinned journal. Severus watched her concentrate. He told her she could consult with him at any time, but he knew that she wanted to figure out the answer on her own.

He was certain the octopus powder would do the trick. Normally used to strengthen potions, Severus believed it was the best option because it would not change the base potion as much as the other two ingredients would.

"Unicorn horn is common in antidotes for poisons, but I don't think that is really what we have here, however could an obliviate be like a poison to the mind?" Hermione bit on her quill.

"Do not overthink, Hermione. The basic properties of an ingredient are not likely to change. Do not extend those properties." Severus was stern, but kind. He was in teaching mode now. The outcome of the potion was too important to coddle Hermione's theoretical reasonings.

Hermione nodded. She moved on.

"Octopus powder. Common to strengthen potions, which is what we would want here. But, wolfsbane is used in Wideye Potions, and can be helpful in concussive situations." She bit her lip. "Two possibilities, but only one is the correct one. Is an obliviated brain similar to that of a concussed brain?" She looked down at her journal and started to write furiously. "However," she stopped and looked at Severus. She pointed her quill at him, "when it's used in Wolfsbane Potion, it only just allows the werewolf to maintain its brain post-transformation. It doesn't permanently change anything!"

Severus smirked. He knew that she would figure it out.

"Now, we just need to figure out how much to add." Hermione's feeling of accomplishment quickly disappeared. Severus chuckled.

"Quantity is something that will come to you once you have brewed enough potions. You will begin to understand how the measurements of each ingredient interact with one another. You may need to add less of one ingredient in order to maintain a potion's magical qualities when you add another." He _accioed_ a vial and held it up to her.

"This should do the trick. Ten measures of octopus powder." His eyes narrowed at the vial.

" _Ten?_ " Hermione wondered aloud. "Sorry, Severus. I'm not questioning you, but doesn't that seem like a lot?"

"Remember what it is we are trying to reverse, Hermione. This is just a simple base memory potion, and we are trying to reverse an obliviate on persons who had significant amounts of memories to lose." He watched Hermione make those notes in her journal.

He poured the contents of the vial into the cauldron and made 10 clockwise stirs. The pair watched the potion change from golden to light pink.

"Sir," Hermione covered her mouth, "I mean, _Severus,_ how do you know how many stirs to make, and in which direction, or even what color a potion should be!" She grew flustered at her questions.

Severus chuckled. "For the most part it really is trial an error, however, I happen to know that most memory potions are always stirred in a clockwise direction. As to the amount, it usually takes a full stir to completely mix one measure of a powdered ingredient. You use the amount of measurement as your stir guide. Of course, there are exceptions, but we have not brewed those potions yet. If you recall, we discussed how this potion would be similar to that of a liquid Remembrall, the smoke of which-" Hermione interrupted, "is red!" She exclaimed.

Severus nodded. Hermione continued to write in her journal while Severus removed the cauldrons from their burners to cool. He ladled the contents into vials and wandlessly cleared the station where they had been working.

He looked at the clock. It was almost seven in the evening. They had been working nonstop since that morning.

"Hermione, love, we should eat." Severus had not realized just how hungry he was.

Hermione looked up from her journal. "Severus, I am starving. I cannot believe I haven't eaten anything at all today."

Severus frowned. He should have insisted she eat something to help her stomach after the night she had. "What do you think you could manage right now?" He asked.

Hermione took one look at him and said flatly, "Pasta." Severus chuckled.

* * *

While slightly dismayed that he wasn't able to simmer his bolognese for as long he normally would, Severus was quite pleased with how happily Hermione ate plate after plate of the pasta dish.

"I will never get over how well you can cook." Hermione closed her eyes and pushed her plate away. Despite the fact that Severus' dish would have paired nicely with one of his wines, they both decided to skip it after the events of the night before.

"So," Hermione started. "How are we planning for this trip?"

"I put together a tentative schedule that I was going to run by you," Severus replied, wiping his face with a cloth napkin. "I really don't want you to miss more classes than necessary, even though I know you could catch up in no time. While Minerva knows about our relationship, I hardly think it would be an ideal situation for the entire school to talk about it for the next five months." Hermione nodded in agreement.

"We would leave New Year's Eve, as travel is normally slow because people are getting ready for festivities, and I anticipate staying for at least three weeks." Severus rose from his chair and started to bring the dishes to the kitchen sink.

Hermione turned to watch. "Why do you think we will need so much time?"

"While I have the basic location, we will have to take some time to prepare to give your parents the potion. We have no idea what situation we will be walking into, especially given they have left the country." Hermione stood and carried her plate to Severus.

Severus watched her bring her hand to her temple. He pulled her to him.

"This _will_ work, Hermione. Please, trust me." He kissed the top of her head. "Now, we have a few days before we have to leave. I suggest we pack and then try to enjoy the calm before the craziness."

"I have a suggestion of something we can do to pass the time," Hermione's eyes twinkled deviously.

"Oh?" Severus fake questioned, "And what would that be?"

In an instant, Hermione crushed her lips to Severus'. He picked her up, never breaking the kiss, and carried her upstairs.

* * *

New Year's Eve came quickly. Between packing for the trip and taking turns instigating ravishments at any given chance, Hermione barely had time to worry about whether their plan was going to work.

Hermione was excited for the trip, as she had never been to America before. Severus was looking forward to uninterrupted time with Hermione without the responsibilities of being Headmaster and professor.

As soon as Severus spoke with Bill, he had made the arrangements to New York- even before he told Hermione. He had taken a liberty with the accommodations in the City, and was anxious to surprise her. This was really going to be the first time they would be able to be a couple in public. Severus was most excited at the thought that he wouldn't have to worry about running into anyone he knew, or having to explain their relationship over and over to members of their community.

The plane trip was uneventful, although at one point Hermione leaned in to Severus and whispered, "I think I'll stick with magical transportation."

When they landed at John F. Kennedy Airport, it was just after eleven in the evening. Severus knew they were going to have a hard time finding a cab on New Year's Eve, so he had studied the route from the airport to the nearest alleyway by their hotel. Once they had collected their bags from the luggage carousel, only doing so as not to avoid suspicion that international travelers were without any luggage, Severus led Hermione to an empty section of a nearby terminal. He grabbed her hand, and they were gone in an instant.

Severus and Hermione landed exactly where he had planned for them. Their hotel on 5th Avenue was just a block away. Severus had wanted to stay somewhere nice, but away from the madness of Times Square.

Severus looked down at Hermione, "Are you ready?" She squeezed his hand and smiled. "I am."

They walked the rest of the way to the hotel hand in hand. It was a marvelous feeling for Severus to be able to love freely and not have to hide it. And if a picture was worth a thousand words, then a picture of Hermione would have been worth a million in that instant.

"Wait," Severus, stopped abruptly. He cast a quick _Tempus_ : eleven fifty-nine. He pulled Hermione close as they waited for midnight. After what seemed like the slowest minute in history, Severus embraced Hermione with enough passion to embarrass the gods. His lips met hers with such severity, it felt as if she was the only thing he had in his life that he could lose. She matched his severity with equal fervor. When he pulled away, he whispered, "May this be the start of endless new years with you."

Hermione placed her hand on the side of his cheek and kissed him once more. "Thank you for making this the happiest new year I have had in forever." She smiled. Severus reclasped his hand with hers, and Hermione squeezed tightly. She began chatting happily about how excited she was to find her parents, and to be in New York.

Only half listening, Severus' eyes narrowed. _We're being followed,_ he thought to himself. _Calm, Severus. Do not frighten Hermione._

Severus, however, misjudged his witch. As if she had read his mind, Hermione whispered, "I think we are being followed."

"Do not let go of my hand," Severus responded. Hermione nodded furiously. _Keep walking, Severus_. _Don't let whoever this is know where you are staying._

The couple had just passed the front of the hotel where they were supposed to be staying, when a familiar voice called out his name.

" _Severus?_ "

Stunned at the fact anyone in New York would know who he was, both Severus and Hermione whipped their heads around and stared into the eyes of a man they never thought they would see again: _Draco Malfoy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o_O what on earth is Draco doing in NYC?! Remember how I said I had a basic idea where this story was going? Well, this twist came to me yesterday while watching Tom’s 19 Years Later live stream. (Anyone else feel OLD watching that?! Yikes!)
> 
> Work is getting busy, so no update likely for a few days, but definitely before the week is up! Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. They really make me smile. It’s always amazing to know someone is enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Stay safe and well. xx


End file.
